I had to travel about an hour away today for a meeting. On the drive up and back I couldn’t stop thinking. That’s not really unusual for me because I’m a thinker, but there was something out of the ordinary. Usually after I write a blog post it eases my mind. The racing thoughts abate, and I’m able to put that topic behind me for a while. Today I was still thinking about some of the questions that I answered yesterday about reconciliation.
I got a lot of really great comments after my post. One of the things that has stayed with me is the common perception that staying to work on the marriage is “weak” or letting the wayward spouse “off easy.” Those two things couldn’t be farther from the truth, so it blows my mind how they have seemingly become the collective cultural idea. Usually stereotypes have some grain of truth to them, which is why they are so enduring. This I don’t understand. Maybe some people out there just give their spouse a pass and move on like nothing happened, but I don’t know anyone like that! All of the men and women who I talk to on message boards and blogs are going through the same difficult journey that I’m on. Sure, we’re all in different places, but I don’t think a single one would say this is easy – for us or our spouses.
I was also thinking about my blog in general and wondering where all the music went. When I started this I was posting more music and using songs to express my ideas. I still believe music is very powerful, so where did it go on my blog? I have a pretty cool radio in my car, and I have a flash drive loaded with basically all of my music that I let play continuously instead of listening to the radio (all of the stations around me pretty much suck). While I was driving and thinking my music was playing away. I rolled through a few songs from various artists, then it hit the Keith Urban section.
I paused in my musings to remember how much I used to love his music (and still do). He is just the consummate musician. I have been to several of his concerts, and I really couldn’t get enough of him live. He and his band are amazing. At their concerts they have a big jam session on stage. They improvise, riff, extend songs, do fun and interesting transitions, and have this rare music-driven performance that is mesmerizing. Keith Urban himself plays the guitar, bass, drums, piano, and a few other things (I think he played the trumpet during one song). The first time I saw him in person I’m sure my mouth was open in amazement the entire time.
Another thing about Keith Urban that you may or may not know – he is an addict. Today as his music was filling my car I understood the deep emotions behind some of his songs for the very first time. I heard his words from a completely different perspective. I was amazed at how much more I liked the songs (which I didn’t even think was possible), and how they really connected with me. One in particular started playing, and I cranked it up as loud as I could stand it. Then I put it on repeat. I listened all the way through at least 3 times barely breathing, then repeated it a few more times while singing along. It was perfect for where I am right now. It paired perfectly with my post yesterday. It was right in line with all of the things I have been thinking all day long. Just listen:
Here are the lyrics for the chorus:
The whole song just really fits, but I’ve already said that. I think my main point here is that we shouldn’t consider people who want to save their marriages “weak.” We should be looking up to them in admiration. Just take a hard look at the state of marriage in this country. It seems like divorce is as common as the cold! Love, committment, pushing through the messy stuff, and learning to change and grow is so special! It’s definitely harder than walking away. But it’s also more rewarding. So, bravo everyone for sticking it out and putting your all into things!
In closing, I will leave you with this picture of Keith Urban’s cute behind.