The concept of trust is something that I struggled with in my last relationship quite a bit (as you know if you’ve read this blog at all). As I move forward and put my past behind me, I know that I will also need to open my heart and learn to trust again. In theory, that seems like it should be difficult considering everything that I’ve been through. However, I already have more peace and trust in my heart in this moment than I did for the last year or two combined.
Part of that comes from no longer having the constant lies in my life. However, I think I no longer have the constant lies in my life because of a deeper change in ME. I have learned that my trust is within my control – who I trust, what I trust them with, and what I accept or don’t. I can give trust away freely in some circumstances and require much more for other types of trust. I can loan someone my trust, but always be mindful of how they are treating that precious gift. My trust can be taken away in small increments, or all at once. My trust in one person can and should be based entirely on their actions. I can trust in varying degrees – I may trust one person with my entire heart and soul and mind, and another person just enough to hang out and talk football.
I feel a certain freedom in making that revelation, which probably seems so basic to most people. Trust used to seem like an absolute thing. I’m not sure why, since I am generally a “shades of gray” person (now the book has added a dirty connotation to that phrase), instead of someone who sees things in black or white. Trust always seemed like a straight-forward concept, though. Either you trusted someone or you didn’t. Simple, right?
I used to trust easily – I took almost anyone I met entirely at their word. There was a time when I believed that people were inherently good. I got burned so much that I flipped my mentality. I came to believe that virtually everyone is twisted, corruptable, and out for themselves. I trusted hardly anyone with hardly anything. The people who I did let in, though, got my absolute trust. If I had to choose between trusting my instincts or someone I loved, I would opt for the latter. Trusting everyone naïvely and trusting a few people more than I trusted myself were both unhealthy ways of thinking. Now I believe I finally understand where the middle ground is.
Yesterday I saw a quote about trust that I loved. I thought about this topic all night, and today I wanted to find that quote again. I did find it, but I also found many more that inspired me in different ways. I would like to share those quotes and pictures below with a little commentary.
This first inspirational tidbit isn’t necessarily about trust. To me, though, it’s about trusting my destiny and realizing that it is up to me to make the best out of everything. I read this, and it makes me think of all of the moments that led me to where I am now – the big ones, the difficult ones, the tiny ones that I didn’t think meant anything, the joys and sorrows… Everything we experience tells us something else about who we are, and what we do with those moments will define us forever. I want my life, my moments, and my experiences to bring me to a place of deeper understanding, happiness, and authenticity.
This next quote is about trusting yourself – that voice inside that tells you what is right for you and what isn’t. I’m not going to disregard that voice again no matter what. I have learned that I have to trust myself first and foremost. No one can tell me what to believe, who to trust, what to do, or what is the right path for my life. That means I have a lot of responsibility and a lot of freedom to determine where my life should go.
I absolutely love the 16 “harsh truths” in this quote. I have faced each and every one of these truths in the recent past, and I’m learning every day to embrace them. I can’t change the past, there is a lot I don’t know, I will fail, and I can’t control much of anything. Information and knowledge are not the same thing, I have to prove my own value and worth to be successful, and I will never feel 100% ready for something new, so it’s best to just dive in. I can only get out what I put in, but I won’t always get what I want. Someone else will always have more than me. Life isn’t easy, good friends will come and go, people won’t always like me, and nothing in life is guaranteed. With that in mind, the only person who can make me happy is me. When I accept all of these things it makes me stronger and more able to really live!
This one is self-explanatory. It’s what happened in my last relationship. In fact, by the end I was trying to use the eraser dust because that was all that was left of my trust.
This next quote is both hilarious and entirely true. This is why I think that lies of omission are just as dangerous as blatant lies. A little bit of truth is a very, very dangerous thing. I always want to make sure that I’ve got the whole truth and the entire picture. If not, my trust won’t last long at all.
Yet another simple truth – the truth is always simple.
This is the quote I saw yesterday that started this entire train of thought. I am trying not to be a bitter person who doesn’t give their trust away at all, however I believe that trust is fragile. When I give it to someone, I truly hope that they treat it as such. Don’t make me regret trusting you if you want me in your life in any capacity because I no longer stick around to be damaged.
This quote is sweet and optimistic and hopeful. It is a good mantra. Pink also happens to be my favorite color at the moment – along with red, black, silver, sparkly (I know, technically not a color, but go with it), and purple. I want my future to be full of laughter, kissing, happiness, pretty things, miracles, and strength of character. I believe I will truly be fulfilled then because with those things and love you can’t go wrong.
Okay, I have to throw this one in just because I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw it.
I’m going to end with this one because it resonates with me. The next person I let into my heart and my life full-time will have to be someone who lives their truth, not simply speaks it. I have learned that words alone are cheap. My future trust will be based on what I see, not on what I hear. I’m looking for integrity, strength of character, and actions. Just know, if you can’t prove it, if you aren’t going to follow through, and if you’re not in this all the way you’re better off not wasting my time.