Online Dating: Take Two

6 Sep

I left you all hanging after my last post.  I had intentions of coming back and telling a few stories from my excursion into online dating in February and March.  I kept that close to the vest since the divorce process wasn’t officially started yet.  It’s not that I worried about it affecting anything, legally.  I just wanted to keep things civil, and hopefully get the divorce rolling with as little friction as possible.  Knowing he was still reading my blog, it seemed prudent to keep certain things to myself, or only share with close friends.  After the court system royally screwed me by losing the paperwork, my ability to keep even my virtual life on hold has completely dissipated.

When I decided to get back on the dating scene two weeks ago, I thought it would be a good opportunity to recap my old experiences while making new ones.  I envisioned writing witty, fun posts about the antics that come with online dating:  the barrage of messages, awkward first dates, men who look different than their pictures or can’t carry conversations, figuring out how to avoid an unwanted kiss, getting blindsided by an unsolicited penis picture…  You know, the standard stuff.  I was going to share how there were so many men interested last time around that I had to create a system to jog my memory about which one was contacting me using their occupation or other identifier – like Librarian Bob.    The posts were going to be comical and engaging and put an interesting new spin on my blog.

It turns out that I should have written about that stuff when it was happening to me.  Before I knew it, the Librarian Bob phase was over.

Last time I filled you in on the fact that I reactivated my dating profile late on a Saturday night after going out with a group of friends.  On Sunday morning I had the cutest, funniest, most well-written message from a very handsome guy.   Although I had over 100 messages when I woke up, my eye went straight to his.  I will admit that he had already caught my attention the night before.   His profile made me laugh and think, his pictures managed to be quirky and endearing while remaining extremely attractive, and his answers to the questions, especially his explanations, were intelligent and intriguing.  Beyond that, he also happened to be a 97% match according to the computer algorithm that OkCupid uses.  I had been hoping he would reach out, especially after I gave him the 5-star rating “nudge” Bennie recommended (a 4-star rating would have worked, too, but this guy was definite 5-star material).

He didn’t disappoint.  He remained captivating as we messaged back and forth.  He kept me on my toes, and left me laughing with his easy jokes and quick wit.  I felt slightly off-balance, in an especially good way.  He asked if I would meet him for dinner one night soon, and I didn’t hesitate for even a split second.  We compared schedules, and realized quickly that we were both rather booked.  We were either looking at later in the week or that very same night.  I told him I would get back to him.  I was on the last week of a demanding business law class.  My procrastinator tendencies were back in full force, so I had a final exam to take and two group legal briefs to edit.   After a string of setbacks that left me contemplating throwing my computer against a wall, I told him that I needed a break.

He picked a restaurant, which was so close to my house that I could have walked.  That prompted a scintillating exchange that could have been creepy in someone else’s hands, but instead was hilarious, cute, and charming.  He told me that I could come in my sweatpants without taking a shower if I wanted to – he didn’t care.  He said his attraction to someone is more dependent on how he connects intellectually (plus, he’d seen pictures and could tell I’m not a troll).  I did shower, but I didn’t get fancy.  I took him at his word, and wore yoga pants (our generation’s version of sweat pants, which I must say are quite a bit more flattering), a funny t-shirt, and Crocs.  He seemed surprised, and fairly impressed that I was true to my word.  I did apply a small amount of makeup and put a little clip in my hair, but I was casual – from my attire to my glasses to my attitude.

Dinner went very well.  We had great conversations with delicious little pauses where neither of us spoke, without the traditionally awkward feel of a first date.  There was tension, but not the nervous kind.  I was taken by his eyes and his smile and his obvious intelligence.  The restaurant basically kicked us out by making a show of turning off the “Open” sign in the window.  He held the door and walked me to my car, which happened to be parked just one spot over from his (it wasn’t a large parking lot).  I started my car, put my purse and leftovers in the passenger side of my vehicle, and went to take a look at his impressive truck (he was showing off his fancy keypad).  We stood there talking well past the 10 minute cut-off for my automatic start.  Our conversation is a blur of topics, laughter, and the mind numbing high of connecting with someone stimulating.

He is very stimulating.  On every level imaginable.  There was absolutely no hiding that I wanted a first kiss.  He knew it, not too far into our meal, when my eyes gave away my obvious attraction to him.  He knew, and he made me wait a bit, which was even more appealing.  We stood there, in an empty parking lot, talking past midnight.  When the kiss finally did come, it was electrifying.  Worth the wait.  And there was more than one, of course.  ;)  When we finally broke apart, I made my way the 500 feet or so home (only a slight exaggeration).  I learned later that he was so disoriented that he drove the wrong way for 15 minutes.

I want to tell you more, but I’m running late for dinner, so the rest will have to wait.  I will add this…  My online dating profile is already disabled.  I’m very excited to see where this goes.  He is amazing.  He’s almost too good to be true, honestly.  Except that I’m pretty sure he’s the genuine article – an honest, sweet, incredibly intelligent, sexy, hilarious, sophisticated man who’s just as attracted to me as I am to him.  Boy, am I glad that I reactivated my profile when I did!

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13 Responses to “Online Dating: Take Two”

  1. jitterbugjellybean September 6, 2013 at 5:39 pm #

    Wow, that sounds like a wonderful first date! Not at all what one normally expects. I really hope it works out for you!

  2. rgonaut September 6, 2013 at 7:02 pm #

    I’m so happy for you! Hope it works!

  3. infinitymadness2 September 6, 2013 at 7:23 pm #

    Wow, that is amazing!! So happy for you!

    • beautifulmess7 September 6, 2013 at 7:28 pm #

      You haven’t even heard amazing yet! I had the best second date of my life, and there have been more. I really need to get better at updating this more often.

  4. saspouse September 6, 2013 at 10:11 pm #

    Wonderful!!

  5. omtatjuan September 6, 2013 at 11:57 pm #

    Wow… Now why didn’t that ever happen to me:( wwwwwaaaaaahhh

  6. Girl, Intoxicated September 7, 2013 at 7:16 am #

    Amazing, can’t wait to hear more!

  7. ThePeopleIHaveSleptWith September 7, 2013 at 4:11 pm #

    So good!

  8. Ben September 8, 2013 at 1:30 pm #

    Yay, so good to hear it! I’m glad my “star tip” worked so well :)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. This is how we date now. | Match dot... come on already! - September 6, 2013

    […] Online Dating: One and Done (beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com) […]

  2. Prelude to a Second Date | Being a Beautiful Mess - September 12, 2013

    […] foray back into the dating world.  After my first first date in a while (which you can read about here), I half-heartedly perused messages from other men on OkCupid.  They paled in comparison to the […]

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