Well, yesterday was a setback, but I’m feeling more positive again today. The song below popped into my head this morning. I love Steel Magnolia – they have such a beautiful sound, wonderful voices, and this amazing harmony both personality-wise and vocally. This is one of my favorite songs on their CD (although I have played the thing almost to death because they are all great). It is called “Just by Being You,” but it also has the secondary title of “Halo and Wings.”
I think the “Halo and Wings” aspect of this song is what brought it to mind today more than anything else. The chorus is:
“And I’ll take off my halo, if you take off your wings.
You don’t have to be invincible cause I sure ain’t no saint.
You’ll always be my angel no matter what you do
Cause you take me to heaven just by being you.”
I am truly not perfect. We both have things to work on in this relationship and would even without the infidelity. The imagery of taking off vestiges of an unattainable ideal is powerful for me. We really have to acknowledge that each of us is dealing with an imperfect human being who has flaws. This song is a bit of a gut-check and a reminder that there are so many things about him just being him that I love and cherish.
The second verse also speaks a lot to where we are now. One particular part of it says:
“Even in your weakness
Baby drop your guard, just let it go
Until everything’s exposed
And you don’t have to feel ashamed”
This entire ordeal has brought us to a point where we can (hopefully) be more real with one another. Sure, he has slip-ups and lies about stupid things sometimes, which makes me feel temporarily insane. But when I take an objective look I can see that we now have more true intimacy. I mean that in the deeper meaning of the word. We are gradually becoming able to drop our guards, share thoughts and emotions that are personal and hard, let each other see the imperfect, vulnerable person inside, and help each other feel validated and accepted. That is something I want to strive for in our marriage as a continual thing. I don’t want to lose that communication and intimacy again. I think that is one of my biggest fears.
What do you think about the song? Do you have fears like that in your own relationships? If you have found a way to push through them, especially in a situation where there has been infidelity, I would love some tips. How do you keep yourself honest and admit your own flaws? That is a tough one for me.