Halo and Wings

18 Apr

Well, yesterday was a setback, but I’m feeling more positive again today.  The song below popped into my head this morning.  I love Steel Magnolia – they have such a beautiful sound, wonderful voices, and this amazing harmony both personality-wise and vocally.  This is one of my favorite songs on their CD (although I have played the thing almost to death because they are all great).  It is called “Just by Being You,” but it also has the secondary title of “Halo and Wings.”

I think the “Halo and Wings” aspect of this song is what brought it to mind today more than anything else.  The chorus is:

“And I’ll take off my halo, if you take off your wings.
You don’t have to be invincible cause I sure ain’t no saint.
You’ll always be my angel no matter what you do
Cause you take me to heaven just by being you.”

I am truly not perfect.  We both have things to work on in this relationship and would even without the infidelity.  The imagery of taking off vestiges of an unattainable ideal is powerful for me.  We really have to acknowledge that each of us is dealing with an imperfect human being who has flaws.  This song is a bit of a gut-check and a reminder that there are so many things about him just being him that I love and cherish.

The second verse also speaks a lot to where we are now.  One particular part of it says:

“Even in your weakness
Baby drop your guard, just let it go
Until everything’s exposed
And you don’t have to feel ashamed”

This entire ordeal has brought us to a point where we can (hopefully) be more real with one another.  Sure, he has slip-ups and lies about stupid things sometimes, which makes me feel temporarily insane.  But when I take an objective look I can see that we now have more true intimacy.  I mean that in the deeper meaning of the word.  We are gradually becoming able to drop our guards, share thoughts and emotions that are personal and hard, let each other see the imperfect, vulnerable person inside, and help each other feel validated and accepted.  That is something I want to strive for in our marriage as a continual thing.  I don’t want to lose that communication and intimacy again.  I think that is one of my biggest fears.

What do you think about the song?  Do you have fears like that in your own relationships?  If you have found a way to push through them, especially in a situation where there has been infidelity, I would love some tips.  How do you keep yourself honest and admit your own flaws?  That is a tough one for me.

Angel or devil ?

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2 Responses to “Halo and Wings”

  1. beautifulmess7 April 19, 2012 at 3:14 pm #

    Thanks. I’m glad someone else has been in the same place I am in. It is hard to be vulnerable because it brings up the same fears of getting lied to or crushed again. And when you feel like things are good and something else happens it’s easy to go all the way back emotionally to that first point. I have to remind myself of all the ground we have gained.

  2. Jamie April 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    Very interesting. I was going through these thoughts not to long ago myself. It’s hard for me to be vulnerable with my FWH right now. (Especially after last week’s discovery). I had **JUST** gotten to the point that I had started to let some of my walls down, and let him in again. It’s tough. I remember telling him that he broke me, and he has to fix me. And part of that was me being open with him. He has to help put me back together again.

    But we also communicate more now than we ever have before. We have much more emotional intimacy. I think we know each other deeper, if that’s possible to understand you know?

    So, I get it. I really do.

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