Being a Zombie

30 May

This title is a little bit misleading.  I’m not becoming a zombie – don’t worry.  Sure, there have been moments in this ordeal where I have felt a bit like a zombie…  I admit that there have been days where hours passed while I was lost in my head.  I had a few months there where I was just “going through the motions.”  Everything was on auto-pilot.  Looking back I’m not sure how I was able to pull it together enough that people at work didn’t notice.

That’s not what this post is about, though.  This post is about actual zombies.  That’s right.  I have briefly mentioned a few times that I consider myself a bit of a geek.  I have to admit that one of the biggest areas where that comes out is the topic of zombies.  I love them.  One of my all-time favorite movies is 28 Days Later.  I think one of the best shows currently on television is The Walking Dead.  I have read the World War Z book and the Zombie Survival Guide.  I (probably irrationally) believe that it is possible for zombies to one day exist.

You are most likely asking yourself, “What?”  Even my husband, who is a lifelong Dungeons and Dragons fantasy game player, laughed at me last night.  I know, I know.  I’m generally a pretty grounded girl.  I don’t believe in vampires, ghosts, God, aliens, werewolves, the Abominable Snowman, Bigfoot, or any of those other silly things.  However, there are some very, very weird viruses out there and they are always evolving.  On top of that, we have all sorts of strange chemicals available now that people ingest both intentionally and without really knowing about it.  Could there one day be some strange virus, airborne illness, or chemical that causes a Zombie Apocalypse?  I don’t know, but it definitely seems much more possible than any of the things I mentioned earlier in this paragraph.

If you’re looking for proof of raging cannibalism that looks very, very much like a zombie attack, check out this article: http://www.examiner.com/article/zombie-attack-miami.  Freaky, right?  I have no idea why they were both naked – I’m kinda stumped by that – however, it has all the other earmarks of being a zombie attack.  1 – The guy was eating the other man’s face off.  Literally.  2 – He growled at the police officer who tried to stop him.  I’ll say that again – he growled.  Like some crazed zombie or a rabid dog.  3 – He didn’t stop when the officer yelled at him to cease or when he was shot the first time. He just kept eating the other man’s face.  Gross.  4 – Only a “fatal” headshot finally took him down.  Hello!  It’s sounding pretty zombie-ish to me.  Just saying…

I’ve heard since that they think the man was high on bath salts.  I’ve watched Intervention like everyone else on this planet, so I actually know that bath salts are a cheap drug-store high if you use them for something other than taking a bath.  I have also heard (and seen – again on Intervention) that they can really fuck with your brain (excuse the French).  The guy I saw who was addicted to them was climbing the walls (literally), was super-paranoid, and thought the government (or aliens, I can’t remember) were out to get him.  I didn’t see any face eating, though.

Even if it is bath salts causing this action, I read another article that says they may also be behind “other similar attacks” across the country.  Gotta say it again – zombies!  Okay, maybe they aren’t technically “undead,” but if there are now a whole string of people attacking and eating other humans across the country because of some crazy drug I still think that’s a pretty serious issue.  I’m gonna re-read the Zombie Survival Guide so I can be ready for any such attacks in my area!  Hopefully you won’t find yourself subject to a zombie attack any time soon.  Be safe out there!

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2 Responses to “Being a Zombie”

  1. Samantha Baker May 30, 2012 at 2:32 pm #

    crazy shit, those bath salts.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 7 Ways to Know if You Have Become a Zombie « Jeff Oakes - May 30, 2012

    […] Being a Zombie (beingabeautifulmess.wordpress.com) […]

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