20 “Would you…” Questions

11 Jun

This weekend was pretty nice, but it went by very, very fast.  Both the hubby and I had to work yesterday, which made for a short weekend.  Still, we managed to fit in a therapy appointment and some good conversations.  I also found a local kid to cut my grass every week, which is great since it has been in the 90s lately.  He gets some experience with responsibility and a little cash while my husband and I get more time together and less headache.  Have I mentioned that we both DESPISE yard work?

That means here we are again facing Monday.  That means it’s time for me to answer some more silly questions.  Today’s questions are courtesy of A Dog With Fleas and her post I Would Do Anything For Love…But Maybe I Won’t Do That?  She got the questions from a Cosmo survey titled “Would You Give Up A Year of Your Life To Sleep With Ryan Gosling.”  The survey asked other thought-provoking, amusing and sometimes outright fear-inducing questions on what you would do if given certain opportunities.  Here’s my take:

1. Would You Give Up A Year Of Your Life To Sleep With Ryan Gosling? 
No.  I’m not really all that impressed by Ryan Gosling.  And I don’t think anyone could be so great at sex that they would be worth a year of my life.  I think time is the most previous thing we have, and I have already wasted too much in my life.  I want every moment I have coming to me!

2. Would You Give Your Boss A Butt Facial For A Monthlong, All-Expenses-Paid Vacation On A Private Yacht?
Absolutely.  I didn’t even know what a “butt facial” was, but a quick Yahoo search later led me here.  It doesn’t sound that bad, and it really has nothing to do with my face (which I was greatly afraid of).  I don’t particularly want to be near my boss’s butt; however traveling is my passion and an all-expenses-paid month long vacation sounds like a dream!  To lounge around for an entire month and having every single penny covered?  Amazing!!!  When do I leave?

3. Would You Pull out One Of Your Front Teeth, Hangover-style, to win an Oscar.
Ummm…  I don’t really have a chance at winning an Oscar right now in the least.  But if you are telling me if I pulled out my front tooth I would win one next time around I would go for it.  Hopefully I would be able to get something to numb me up first, though.  I don’t really like my front teeth anyway (they have little ridges at the bottom) and modern dentistry can do some amazing things.  If I had an Oscar I could afford it, so yes.

4. Would You Adopt Jill Zarin’s Speaking Voice If It Meant You Could Sing Like Adele?
Like the woman who answered these before me, I had to Google Jill Zarin to even find out who she was.  I already knew the answer to this before I did that, though.  Nope.  I love my singing voice, and I wouldn’t change it.  Plus, it’s already pretty deep and throaty like Adele’s to begin with.  So no dice on this one…

5. Would You Listen To LMFAO’s Party Rock for 72 Hours To Flour Bomb Your Ex (and not get caught)?
No way.  If I’ve heard that song I had no idea what it was called or who sang it.  That genre is completely outside of what I am drawn to musically, and I can’t stand their name!  All of that aside, though, I couldn’t care less about my ex.  I definitely wouldn’t put myself through a single thing for that inconsequential person.

6. Would You Sleep With A Rat In Your Bed Every Night For A Month To Have The Ability To Fly?
I had to really think hard about this one.  I’m not a fan of rats, but I have always wanted to fly.  Sometimes I have dreams at night of being able to take off of the ground and soar.  In my dreams I kinda look like the girl in this picture does, oddly enough.  It is an amazing feeling, and I always wake up wishing I could go back to my dream.  If the rat in question could be one of those white, semi-cite ones from the pet store as opposed to the huge, nasty gutter rats in say New York City then I would definitely do it!

7. Would You Spend Three Years On A Deserted Island…with Ryan Reynolds?
I’m going to have to admit (to many people’s scorn I’m sure) that I had to do a search for Ryan Reynolds.  I didn’t recognize the name.  I do know his face once I saw it, but obviously he has not made a big impression on me.  I will have to refer back to my answer to the first questions here.  There is no one I consider so amazingly fantastic that I would give up 3 years of my life for.  Plus, being stranded on a deserted island sounds a lot more romantic and wonderful than I’m sure it is in reality.  Ever seen Survivor?  And those people aren’t even really deserted there…  Those camera men, crew and the host have to be hanging out in luxury somewhere, and they have a doctor, helicopter and boat on call, plus they can win donuts, bacon, fire and comfort items like fishing gear, tarps and blankets.  I’m sure being on a deserted island with ANYONE would get really old, really fast – much less after 3 years.  I’ll take my AC, DVR, books, running water and electricity, ability to order take-out and visit the grocery store, and comfy bed thank you very much!

8. Would You Never Speak To Your BF Again To Trade Lives With Duchess Catherine?
This probably isn’t the best survey for me because I am really not impressed by celebrities of any sort…  Duchess Catherine included.  I like my privacy far too much to trade places with all but a very select few of them.  The duchess is NOT one of them.

9. Would You Watch Porn With Your Parents For A Thousand Dollars?
Absolutely not!  First of all, $1,000 is barely anything.  Secondly, I feel very, very strongly about pornography (in a “I’m against it” kinda way).  Thirdly, even if the first two weren’t true I would never disrespect myself or my parents that much.

10. Would You Vajazzle your Frenemy’s Hoo-Ha To Have Anything You Want From Tiffany?
This is probably one of the most absurd questions I have seen anywhere.  Really…  who comes up with these?  What kind of job description does that person have?  As crazy as it is, I will answer it.  I am a huge fan of jewelry and Tiffany has some great diamond stuff, so yeah.  I think I just lost respect for myself for even answering that, but I do love diamonds!

How about this beauty? “This masterpiece consists of 34 Lucida® diamonds alongside marquise and round diamonds. Necklace in platinum with diamonds. 38″ long.  Carat total weight 73.58”

11. Would You Give Up Sex To Be Able To Eat Everything You Wanted Yet Magically Be Thin?
Sadly this gave me more pause than it should have.  I love myself.  Really, I do.  But boy would I love to be magically thin with no work and still be able to eat everything I want!  That is an amazing wish-come-true type thing.  But to not be able to have sex?  Any kind of sex?  I don’t think I could do that…  What’s the point of being incredibly attractive if you can’t have any fun with that perfect body?  Pass!

12. Would You Sweat Like A Fat Guy Sans Deodorant For The Summer For A Sick Beach House?
In this fantasy why is it that I can’t wear deodorant?  That seems especially cruel to everyone!  No thanks.  I don’t even like the beach that much.

13. Would You Give Up Your Sense Of Taste For The Ability To Read People’s Minds?
Absolutely not!  I’m a foodie, people!  Plus, I don’t really think I could handle knowing what everyone around me is thinking all of the time.  That sounds like some sort of horror movie!  Now, do I wish I could read my husband’s mind sometimes?  Hell, yes!  But I’ll have to settle for having him open up and be really honest with me on his own.  It would seem like stealing to root around in someone else’s thoughts, plus I don’t want to know what that sweaty guy I just passed in the street was thinking…

14. Would You Agree To Have A Permanent Cold For Angelina Jolie’s Face And Gisele’s Body?
Seriously… where do they come up with this stuff?  Having struggled with terrible allergies for a few years now I would definitely not want to have a permanent cold on top of all of that.  Plus, who wants Angelina Jolie’s face when it’s dripping with snot?  No thanks!

15. Would You Flash Your Dentist If It Ensured You’d Have Healthy, Pearly White Teeth Your Whole Life
Sure, why not.  That doesn’t sound too bad, and I could use a little tooth whitening without the pain that goes along with it (I have very sensitive teeth).

16. Would You Give Up Chocolate To Wake Up Every Day Already Dressed And Perfectly Primped?
That is a no-brainer!  Where do I sign up?  I’m not a huge sweet-tooth anyway, and I am so NOT a morning person.  Definitely!

17. Would You Give Your Boyfriend’s Mom A Weekly Pedicure If It Meant You’d Never Get A Pimple Again?
This is a hard question for me to answer because I don’t have a boyfriend – I have a husband.  And his Mom is dead…  That would be a pretty difficult pedicure.  I don’t get acne that much anyway, so I’m perfectly okay that this wouldn’t be an option for me if I was offered.

18. Would You Shave Your Head, Just One Time, For A Lifetime Of Perfect Hair Days?
Yes.  I have often threatened to shave my head just for the heck of it because having so much hair is hugely inconvenient sometimes.  I envy my husband’s buzz cut and the ease with which he is able to get ready in the morning.  Let’s do this!  Just call me Demi.

19. Would You Vomit In Front Of Your Crush In Exchange For A Free Louis Vuitton Bag?
This doesn’t really apply to me since I don’t have a “crush.”  Unfortunately, my husband has seen me vomit before, but I usually have to get a shot to stop once I start.  It is one of the worst sensations.  I don’t even care about designer handbags, so this is a definitive “no.”

20. Would You Get A Face Tattoo for Five Million Dollars?
I have to keep her answer to this because it is perfect – “Sure would. I would get the smallest possible and use part of my Five Million to get it removed!”

Well, that’s it for today folks.  I hope the beginning of your week has been great!

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4 Responses to “20 “Would you…” Questions”

  1. the other side of infidelity June 11, 2012 at 10:12 pm #

    Wow.. talk about bizarre questions! Hilarious though! I may steal this one from you 🙂

    • beautifulmess7 June 12, 2012 at 4:35 pm #

      Yeah, they were hilarious. I have never been a big fan of crazy “what if” questions that could never come true. Yesterday I just had a wild hair I guess. I figured, what the heck… It’s okay to pretend that one of these things could be possible. Just have a little fun!

  2. A Dog With Fleas June 11, 2012 at 8:39 pm #

    Really enjoyed reading your take on these questions…..Some of them were pretty bizarre weren’t they? Cosmo is one of my guilty pleasures and love doing their survey’s, even though some of them are a little odd!! 🙂

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Just How Willing Am I??? « theothersideofinfidelity - June 13, 2012

    […] Brought to you courtesy of Being A Beautiful Mess […]

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