Retrouvaille Weekend

13 Jul

Today we are going to Retrouvaille.  It is a weekend program that is designed to help couples in distress.  On the website it says, “Retrouvaille attempts to re-establish trust and communication in damaged relationships… It operates from the premise that most marriages can and should be saved.”  Here is a more extensive description:

What is a Retrouvaille Program?

The word Retrouvaille (pronounced re-tro-vi with a long i.) is a French word meaning rediscovery. The program offers tools needed to rediscover a loving marriage relationship. Thousands of couples headed for cold, unloving relationships or divorce have successfully overcome their marriage problems by attending the program.

The Retrouvaille Program consists of a weekend experience combined with a series of 6-12 post-weekend sessions over 3 months. It provides the tools to help put your marriage in order again. The main emphasis of the program is on communication in marriage between husband and wife. It will give you the opportunity to rediscover each other and examine your lives together in a new and positive way.

We signed up for this program in early May.  We were doing really well in our recovery then, and this seemed like a really great tool for strengthening our marriage even more.  Now it feels like a lifeline that might get us back on track.

Communication.  Such a simple idea.  Talking.  Sharing.  Confiding in each other.  Yet Mr. Mess’s lies are like a brick wall between us that we have to scream through to hear one another.  Maybe this weekend will help with that.  At least I hope so.

Despite reading just about everything on their website and speaking to other couple’s on forums who have gone, I still don’t have any concrete idea of what to expect.  I do know that this is a religious-based program, which makes me worried since both of us are on the agnostic/ atheist scale – me more so than my husband (I’m a full-blown atheist to the core).  I’m a little worried that I may shut down if they try to ram religion down my throat as the solution to all of this.  Others who have gone say the religious tone is very subtle, but subtle to them may not feel subtle to me.

I have decided, though, that I’m willing to come out of my protective shell for this weekend and be emotionally naked.  One weekend can’t hurt me but so much, right?  All I can do is give it my all and hope for the best.  I don’t know what the result will be.  I’m not sure what I have to offer.  I wonder if I’m too far gone to reconnect to what we had before all of this.  But I’m going to try.

We will be departing around 4:00 pm Eastern Time on this journey.  Wish me luck!


15 Responses to “Retrouvaille Weekend”

  1. Wendy July 15, 2012 at 11:00 am #

    I can’t wait to hear all about it. 🙂

  2. Ariella July 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

    Good luck and I hope you guys have a great weekend. I have a better chance of winning the lotto in every state, then John attending something like that with me! Im thinking of the movie, Couples Therapy!!! 🙂

    • beautifulmess7 July 17, 2012 at 9:10 am #

      I’m sorry that he wouldn’t be willing to do it. The weekend was really helpful 0 even moreso to him than to me. He is very excited about the new skills he learned, and was really, really glad that we went.

  3. forgivingforme July 14, 2012 at 7:27 am #

    Good luck beautiful! X x

  4. NZ Cate July 14, 2012 at 12:40 am #

    Sounds like a great thing to be doing. Wishing you lots of luck.

    • beautifulmess7 July 14, 2012 at 6:09 pm #

      So far so good. It has been an exhausting pace. This has been our first break and it is int 45 minutes long. We started at 7 and will be going until 11. I am tired, but we have made a lot of progress!

      • NZ Cate July 14, 2012 at 9:20 pm #

        Wow! That’s heavy going but am glad it’s helping. 🙂

  5. hiddinsight July 13, 2012 at 5:17 pm #

    Good luck!! It sounds great…

  6. Rollercoasterider July 13, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

    I can’t wait to hear about the experience. I wanted us to go a few years back, but Sweetheart works on the weekends and was not willing to aske for that many in a row off–plus it was like a 90 minute drive one way. But I am so curious about it. I’d love it if you would post after each weekend session too! Include whether you felt the religious angle was rammed down you as well. Sweetheart’s Catholic and I think it’s a CAtholic group and I’m Lutheran–so no issues wtih the religion. But I wold like to know if they are at the level of thumping/fundtamentalism…which technically is not Catholic.

    • beautifulmess7 July 17, 2012 at 9:09 am #

      I will be posting my thoughts and feelings on the weekend soon along with some of my writing from the weekend. I will also update you on the weekend sessions as well. I’m looking forward to those.


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