TMI Warning!
I just got an IUD – the Mirena – this week. It was extremely painful because I haven’t had children; therefore my cervix is very unwilling to be opened up. After quite a bit of needles, poking, clamps, stabbing pain, cramps, bleeding, and hand squeezing it was in. I then had intense cramping for about 3-4 days. However, we are now set on birth control for 5 years.
I told Mr. Mess in no uncertain terms that he WILL be getting a vasectomy sometime before July 2017!! He graciously agreed considering the alternative would be no sex since we are firmly in the child-free camp. 🙂
Seriously, though… Why do men always seem to leave it up to us to control contraception? We are both participants in the sexual play and debauchery. We both agreed we don’t want children. Why should my body be the only thing affected? Why should I have to adjust my routine every day to take pills, pump my body full of hormones, and endure physical pain for all that pleasure minus the consequence of a screaming new life? No more. This is my last round of birth control, then the ball is in his court (pun intended… heehee).
Related articles
- The IUD: What Do Gynecologists Know That Other Women Don’t? (livescience.com)
- SL Letters of the Day: TOP Has Other Options (slog.thestranger.com)
- Squashing The Myths About Vasectomies (healthmad.com)
- Birth Control – Roping in Pakistan’s Men (ipsnews.net)
Being a Beautiful Mess 
Hubby had one very shortly after the birth of our second child. Was very gracious about it, in fact. He had very little discomfort, enjoyed the sedative drugs immensely, and his only regret was the week he had to take off training for a marathon at the time. When he protested about this to his surgeon, the doctor’s reply was “Don’t come crying to me when your balls are the size of church bells.”
That’s funny! My Mom always said she thought a man who had a vasectomy should shout it to the world. She thinks it is a very sexy quality to consider your wife or partner and take control of the birth control. I tend to agree!
Hope you feel better. 🙂
“Why do men always seem to leave it up to us to control contraception?”
Because we (especially addicts) are extremely selfish human beings. If we get a vasectomy, then we can’t procreate with another women, assuming the current relationship is terminated and the other woman and us want to have a child….. Plus, it’s painful.
Funny thing is he doesn’t WANT children. He is almost 50 and does not want to be a senior citizen raising a child.
The pain thing, though… He is definitely a big baby when it comes to anything the slightest bit painful. I’m done being the only one experiencing pain, though. 🙂
Sounds like a healthy approach on your part. Nothing wrong with wanting him to get one asap. When my wife and I are finished with kids, there is a high probability I will too.
Last night we talked about it a little more. I told him about the side effects some women have said they have with Mirena. I didn’t have to say any more. He said that second we see any of that I am getting it removed and he is getting a vasectomy.
We also talked about his fears surrounding it. The main one is pain (of course). He also wondered in the back of his mind whether I might change MY mind about wanting kids in the future. I assured him that isn’t going to happen, but even if it did the vasectomy doesn’t stop him from producing sperm…
Finally, we talked about his fears of other “side effects” for him. I assured him there aren’t any (based on lots and lots of research on my part and the reassurance of my Mom – since both my Dad and Step-Dad have had them). I encouraged him to do the research on his own, though, which he said he has already been planning to do. 🙂
Wow, that is awesome communication on both of y’alls part. A lot of couples won’t talk about their fears openly because they have not reached a level of intimacy with each other.
It has taken a lot of work to get here, and we still have a ways to go. Thanks for the compliment, though. 🙂 I am proud of us.
Mine had a vasectomy and I had an ablation. There is NO way I’m having any more.
Yeah… Been thinking about an ablation. My Mom had one. They are generally hesitant to do one on a 27-year-old who doesn’t have heavy periods… Imagine that.
Well WTH is wrong with them!!!
I had an excuse. With my ulcer surgery and the removal of 1/3 of my stomach, the part they removed is what is responsible for iron absorption. So I’m chronically anemic. I need what little iron I have.
I had Mirena for 4 years before I had it removed. I suffered from horrible yeast infections the past year or more of having it. Horrible as in I was chafed and raw. My discharge/blood would smell very metallic and I also had rage problems, although they deny it causes any problems like that. I researched and found a lot of women online complaining of the same problems.
I think that it also helped to contribute to the problems in our marriage as I did not want to have sex, mostly because of the constant YIs, but also because I just had no libido – which they also deny it causes.
Hopefully you don’t encounter similar problems, but if you do, at least you have notice. I would have it removed if you begin to see these problems because mine progressively got worse.
Thanks for sharing your experience. If that happens, then I guess he will be getting a vasectomy sooner! 🙂