I had a different topic in my mind for today, but then I logged into WordPress and saw this. I now have 100 followers! I could jump up and down like a little kid right now. I know that sounds petty and childish, but I am extremely excited. I have been inching closer to 100 followers every day and trying not to pay attention. The truth is, I can hardly believe that 100 people enjoy my writing enough to sign up to follow me. Little ol’ me?!
The excitement is not quite as shallow and selfish as it probably seems at this moment. I know 100 followers is probably measly to some people out there with thousands or even (gulp!) millions of followers. I don’t think I will ever get there, and honestly, I don’t really want to. That number, 100, is ideal: it is comfy, but also varied. I get to know each and every one of you in some way. The individuals that make up my 100 followers are so diverse, open, and amazing that I don’t know how it could get any better. Even if I never get one more follower, I think I will be content.
The number 100 means a lot to me in so many different ways. For one thing, I am a sucker for milestones. I am the sappy chick who remembers every important date, writes long, heartfelt letters to people on special occasions, catalogs mementos from tender moments, meaningful cards, small notes, and great papers in a shoebox (multiple ones, actually), and celebrates every birthday that anyone close to me has like it’s the most important one ever or their last (and who knows, it could be). This is one of those special little moments that I want to hold onto in my head and heart.
Seeing my blog achieve 100 followers seemed like an impossibility when I started. I was actually shocked when I received my first one. Now my followers have grown, and with each one I gain a little nugget of wisdom. Each and every one of my 100 followers has also touched my heart in some way. Some reached out to me with a comment, supportive or challenging. Some have given me encouragement through a simple “Like.” Others have poured out their own souls and laid things bare in their blogs that have profoundly changed me. All of you open up your heart to me – someone you don’t know at all except through the words I write. It is actually making me tear up right now (I told you I’m sappy). You have all given me support, advice, confidence, strength and affirmation. I found a community, a support system, and sometimes a lifeline through my blogging. It is something I could never have imagined.
I wish that I had the time and space to thank all 100 of you individually. There really is something I could say about each and every one of you – a post that was very meaningful to me, a comment that changed my day, a perfectly timed “Like” that brought the first smile of the day to my face, and so, so much wisdom.
That 100 is also a validation. My entire life has been spent striving for excellence, pushing for that 100%. I was never happy, even when I did achieve a score of 100 because there was always the next test, the next hurdle, the next way that I had to “prove” myself. The woman writing this post is not the same woman who started this blog in April. That woman didn’t know how to put herself first. That woman was consumed by fear. That woman was insecure, questioned her self-worth, felt hopeless, and overwhelmed – like the whole world was swallowing her up and there was nothing she could do to stop it. That woman also lacked a lot of self-awareness that has developed since then. She didn’t know that she couldn’t fix her husband’s sex addiction. She didn’t know that she was enough. She didn’t know that she was codependent and needed to change some things about herself in order to find serenity. That woman would still be exactly the same if it weren’t for this blog and especially you, my followers.
I wish that I had the time and space to thank all of you individually. I really do have something I could say about each and every one of you, even my newest follower – ditchthemarriage over at Young and Divorced. I have been devouring your blog all day. I love your positive outlook and the way you are taking a bad situation and turning around into something so empowering! I, too, am “fumbling back toward fabulous one day at a time.” I’m not there yet, but I am so much closer than I was when I started.
There are also some of you that are so special to me that I have to give at least a little shout-out. Ben at My Ideal Woman is the first person who showed me that blogging could be a fun and rewarding experience. I started reading his blog several months ago, was impressed, started commenting and checking out other bloggers, and finally decided to share my experience and add my voice and unique perspective to this blogging world called WordPress. Another blogger who inspires me and who I have become very close to is Samantha Baker at Repairing Shattered Pieces. She and I have met up – the one and only person I have ever met from the internet. Thankfully, Samantha is not a crazy ax murderer. She and I have shared a bottle of wine, chatted over dinner, tried to attend an S-Anon meeting together, and, most of all, supported each other through the ups and downs of life. Her blog is raw and real, and she helps to remind me that it is okay to let my feeling side out sometimes. Other blogs that I am constantly captivated by include Persuaded2Go for her spectacular introspection and bold writing, Eat My Scabs which is so well-written and fabulous that it makes me jealous, bRaving Bipolar for her searching, honest account of living with bipolar disorder, and so many other people who have welcomed me into their world. Thank you all – every single one of my 100 followers!
- Very close to 100 followers! (teacherlingo.com)
- 100th Post (geauxgirlie.wordpress.com)
- Post Number 100?! (aimsphotos.wordpress.com)
- 100 Posts: So Throw Me a Bone (stevenwwatkins.wordpress.com)
- Personal Milestone (davidnwalker.com)