I have heard from some of you that are concerned about me. I am still here, and I’m doing great. I have taken a bit of a break from this blog for several reasons.
First, and most importantly, now that I have made the decision that this marriage is beyond the point of saving it’s like a giant weight has been lifted from my shoulders. All of the angst and turmoil and second-guessing is just gone. Vanished. I don’t have a pressing need to blog about all of this because my mind is free and clear.
Another thing is that I’ve been busy living my life. I’m taking karate and kick boxing, and I try to go every night (if possible, and if I can motivate myself). I have been doing more with my family. I’ve been focusing on my music – singing, practicing, making a little money at it, and even tuning up my guitar again. I’m going on a retreat this weekend with a bunch of women from S-Anon. I’ve been working around my house, doing all sorts of things that my husband was too lazy to do. I take all three of my dogs on walks around the neighborhood (separately to give myself a little more exercise). It’s been great.
Finally, I’m pretty sure my husband is still an email follower of my blog. I would rather not give him a window into my life and my heart and my mind anymore. He had his chance at that, and he threw it away.
So, if you don’t hear from me as much, take it as a good sign. Know it means that I’m moving on, having fun, and living my life. Breathe a sigh of relief for me that the lying, deceit, and drama are now (mostly) gone from my day-to-day world. Sure, there will be hurdles and bumps along the way until my divorce is final in April. I’m just in countdown mode right now, though. There is no more indecision, doubt, or worry in my life. Just happiness, growth, self-confidence, and a deep peace of mind.