Giving Up

1 Dec


One of my favorite blogs to follow is Daily Divorce Meditations.  Even before I had officially decided to divorce, I gained such strength and insight from her words. Yesterday this post caught my attention.

It really resonated with me.  Tonight I’m at an S-Anon retreat where we listened to a CD on emotional sobriety.  It is amazing and I’m going to share it when I go home and track down the link.

Afterwards we got into a deep discussion (which is still continuing).  One topic that came up is when do you know when enough is enough if you’re a giving person?  How do you care for yourself and others?  When do you know it’s the time to give up?  How do you reconcile taking care of yourself with not “abandoning” the addict?  My thoughts went back to the above post, specifically this section:

If I have given my all, if I have tried my best, if I have done everything in my power to make something succeed over a significant period of time and it still isn’t working… then I have to be honest with myself, put my ego aside, and admit that maybe this is not the right path for me… that maybe… it is time to give up… and that my Higher Power is trying to point me in a different direction… a better direction…  my true spiritual path that I am choosing to ignore by being resistant to giving in due to my own stubborn self-will.”

I can admit now that the path I was on was not the one for me.  I am glad that I gave up on the unhealthy relationship in my life so that I could make room for a  better relationship, a better direction, and a better life.


8 Responses to “Giving Up”

  1. J g r January 6, 2020 at 7:31 pm #

    What I am having difficulty with is the long period of time between this posting and the present and knowing and not sharing until recently, I am not saying your decision wasn’t the right one j

    • beautifulmess7 January 7, 2020 at 8:44 am #

      I posted this in 2012, so I’m not sure what you mean when you say “I am having difficulty with is the long period of time between this posting and the present and knowing and not sharing until recently.” It has been posted publicly for for 8 years, and I haven’t shared it recently.

      Perhaps someone shared it with you recently to explain why they can’t keep beating their head against a wall to stay in a relationship that isn’t right for them with a person who isn’t worth it. I am not sure what brought you here, but I can assure you that leaving that relationship was absolutely one of the best decisions that I have ever made in my life.

  2. Anonymous November 27, 2019 at 12:54 pm #

    Praying a close family member will read this. Heartbreaking to see what someone will allow before walking away. The great part is she has faith and good support system. No doubt the love she has for her husband will change over time and the may be the only way she calls it quits.

  3. Our Journey After His Affair December 1, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    I’m so happy for you!

  4. leanne356 December 1, 2012 at 3:23 am #

    Thank you so much for the blogs you write. They have given me so much strength and hope, for myself. While I am still at a place where I am working with my husband to try and make things work out and he is making the efforts that I expect, I have this niggling feeling that eventually I am going to need to prepare myself for a life without him…

    Previously, I have always felt that I am in a no win situation, either staying with him, putting my own happiness to the side for the sake of stability etc for the kids, or leaving and everything being terrible in numerous ways for everyone.

    Your blog has begun to make me see that it doesn’t need to be that way. It just depends what your focussing your mind on, the things you have lost or the things you can gain.

    I hope you have some enjoyment and relaxation over the weekend.

  5. journeyman1977 December 1, 2012 at 2:23 am #

    there’s more to this quote but I’ve redacted it 😉 But here’s the best part…. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
    ― Mark Twain

  6. journeyman1977 December 1, 2012 at 2:13 am #

    Your best is all you can give/ put into anything or anyone. You’ HAVE given your best. Absolutely. So don’t doubt that. Now start paying attention to that higher power 🙂 and enjoy the ride! every second of it! 🙂

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