Why Am I Not Surprised?

20 Jan

I was supposed to have to deal with Mr. Mess today, yet I was somehow spared that unpleasantness. You see, last week Mr. Mess texted me to arrange for a time to pick up the rest of his things.  On Monday he asked to come over this weekend.  I told him that Sunday would be a fine day.  He said okay and thanked me.   I got another text from him on my birthday with my name misspelled (yeah, really…).  After that, nothing.  When I didn’t hear from him yesterday or this morning about what time he would be here I figured he wasn’t coming.  No skin off of my teeth (what does that expression mean, anyway?  It’s really weird…).

I’m really not surprised at all that he didn’t come by like he said or even call or text to cancel.  It’s very typical of him.  He is a self-centered, inconsiderate and inconsistent person, so I would have been more surprised if he HAD contacted me on Saturday to firm up a time for today, then actually showed up at that time.  Sadly, I no longer have expectations of him doing anything that he says he will do.  I honestly don’t even know what there is left for him to get at this point – maybe a pasta maker and the mattress set that belongs to my sister (now me) because he told me to “do whatever I wanted” with his set and my Dad tossed it out?  Possibly something from the shed (although I looked in there this afternoon and didn’t see anything of his)?

I had a brief moment where I wanted to send him a snarky text offering to take his things to the dump if he doesn’t want them.  However, I quickly abandoned that idea, deleted the draft, and went about my business.  Really, that’s the best (and only) thing for me to do.  I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I just took all of my Christmas decorations down today (What?  I like Christmas!).   🙂  Besides that I was able to get some laundry done, reorganize my living room (after taking down the tree and decorations I had to put things back in order), cuddle with my dog Buddy, catch up with a few friends and most of the blogs I follow, start a new book, visit with my Dad and sister (separately), and watch the final playoff games.

It feels good to be accomplishing things and completely separating myself and my world from his.  It’s about time!   As far as I can tell, there are just 3 more hurdles to get over – this (the last few things he wants to pick up), taxes, then the divorce.  It’s exciting.  I’m trying to keep things as amicable and drama-free as possible.  That’s why I’m especially proud of myself for just letting today go and not striking out.  He may be trying to keep his foot in the door of my life or bate me, but since I am no longer invested in him it wont work.

All I need to do right now is get through these few things to the other side.  I can hardly wait!

Just a few more trips through the gutter to get through to the flowers on the other side.

Just a few more trips through the gutter to get through to the flowers on the other side.


9 Responses to “Why Am I Not Surprised?”

  1. Lee Kaplanian January 21, 2013 at 1:14 am #

    Exactly right! Take back your power and set boundaries – not always easy but very important. Be glad you didn’t wait until your 60’s to finally get a clue.

  2. longtooth77 January 20, 2013 at 10:06 pm #

    One day at a time and you’re doing great. As for that phrase ‘no skin off my teeth’…it means you’re impervious to whatever someone’s trying to do to you. That it doesn’t affect you. And it doesn’t obviously! 😉 Way to go and glad that you’re thriving.

    • beautifulmess7 January 20, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

      Yeah… but teeth don’t have skin… So still a weird phrase.

      • longtooth77 January 20, 2013 at 10:10 pm #

        lmao it’s a phrase from the 1800’s I think. Started with ‘skin off the nose’ and the Americanized version has teeth in place of nose. Weird yes.

        • beautifulmess7 January 20, 2013 at 10:21 pm #

          Okay… Being the person I am I HAD to look this up. Came across some interesting things on this site – http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/64840/where-does-the-phrase-no-skin-off-my-teeth-nose-come-from. Here’s some of it:

          “…no skin off my nose is more common and originated around 1930, and no skin off my teeth around 1940.

          The -teeth phrase is a combination of by the skin of one’s teeth and it’s no skin off my nose. The -teeth phrase seems to have originated in the southern US. This is a mixed metaphor, and yet another variation of “no skin off my nose/back/backside”. The earliest “no skin off my teeth” I found in Google Books is from a 1938 The Atlantic monthly: Volume 162.

          It may be a mixed metaphor, as others have stated; however, it makes sense in that your teeth have no skin and therefore “losing” this nonexistent skin would have no consequence–as in, you can’t lose what you don’t have.”

          Mystery solved enough for me anyway! Thanks for your 2 cents. 🙂

          • longtooth77 January 20, 2013 at 10:25 pm #

            lmao awesome!!! I was googling it too. thanks for beating me to it. So not so weird after all. losing the non-existent skin 🙂 Go for it!!! You’re doing fine!

    • beautifulmess7 January 20, 2013 at 10:08 pm #

      And thanks for the support! I really appreciate it. I am thriving and doing my best to enjoy my life to its fullest. One day at a time is right!

      • longtooth77 January 20, 2013 at 10:13 pm #

        You’re doing fine. And very proud of you for not having sent that snarky text. If you had done that, then you’d be letting him win. It means that he ‘affected’ you still. Baby steps still go a long way.

        • beautifulmess7 January 20, 2013 at 10:22 pm #

          Yes they do. Thanks again. I am sooo glad I decided not to engage.

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