Apparently I’m a Nut Job

24 Jan


Just thought you guys should know.  You wouldn’t want to follow the blog of a nut job would you?  Hahaha.  🙂

I asked if he was still going to his Saturday morning meetings because I’ve been avoiding that group for a while for fear of running into him.  I didn’t want to make things awkward.  I just asked because I’ve missed the ladies in that group and wanted to know.  He said he hasn’t been to “one of those meetings” since he left, so I should go to that one again if I want.

He also said that he is never going back, and made this snide face that I can’t quite describe.  He was standing there with his greasy hair sticking up in all directions and a superior look on his face, like he was getting great pleasure out of proving how much better he is than me (by continuing in his addiction and denying there was ever a problem).  I broke and said something like, “Of course not.  You like being completely screwed up sexually.”  Then he said, “And you like being a nut job.”  I said, “Okay, sure” and he repeated himself as he finally walked out of the door.

That conversation was on the heels of another gem.  He said that he didn’t want to take anything that I had paid for so that I couldn’t write about him on my “little blog” to tell all of my “people” that he was a deadbeat – as his car was outside full of things that I had paid for.  I said as much – what kind of weird double standard is it to not want to take anything your spouse paid for while carrying an armload of things they bought?  Then he said that he didn’t think gifts applied – although all the kitchen things he took tonight were just items I purchased while he was in school for him to use in the house.  Truly, I’m not going to use them and he needed to take all of it because I don’t want to look at it and he’s the only one who needs a pasta maker and ravioli press and other crap that I can’t remember the name of.  But still… don’t say you don’t want anything I paid for when the only things in this house are things I bought.

Then he said something like, “We can both just keep anything we bought, including gifts,” because then he could have “all the jewelry” he got me.  I asked, what jewelry? The one necklace (that his brother paid for) and the wedding rings?  AAA-PHOTO-I-SEE-DUMB-PEOPLE4He then claimed to have purchased me several diamond necklaces, but couldn’t name any other than the (only) one he gave me 3 years ago, which his brother put on his credit card.  Oh, and the $90 earrings he gave me at our wedding reception.  Apparently he didn’t like that reminder of his lack of money (or responsibility) during our entire relationship because that’s when he started raising his voice and giving me the crazy eyes.

Before he left he mentioned something about not being able to wait for April.  Like I’m just pining away for him over here.  LOL.  I offered him an out – just admit that you cheated on me and this can be done immediately, like yesterday.  The papers can be filed and everything can be finished as soon as a judge signs the order.  He then said that he never cheated on me.  Really?  Oh, and that he lied about the 4 other women he had affairs with to “speed things along.”  Riiiiggght!  Maybe he’s even convinced himself of that.  Why he wouldn’t just have left on his own is a mystery, but when you make up lies they never make complete sense.

I was very, very tempted to say that he should enjoy his hand as much as possible since that is the only partner he will get again other than possibly some internet skank who he can exchange STDs with.  But I restrained myself.  Temporarily.  I did buckle and couldn’t help but deliver a closing blow by text:

“Your family must be nut jobs too because several of them have contacted me to say they can’t believe I lasted as long as I did being married to you.”

(Aside:  This is completely true – cross my heart and hope to die.  I was as surprised as anyone to get multiple Facebook messages, texts and emails from HIS family congratulating me on cutting him loose…)

I followed that up with:

“And even if you claim not to have cheated, what’s one more lie?”

Immature?  Certainly.  But I don’t really care.  I’ll be the bigger person tomorrow.  Tonight I have a cold, I got 5 hours of sleep, and I needed to unload on someone.  He made a good target, especially since he goaded me to the point where I didn’t care to restrain myself any more.  Plus, I’m a nut job, right?



26 Responses to “Apparently I’m a Nut Job”

  1. GoddessWife January 25, 2013 at 10:50 pm #

    Wow. Some piece of work you’re leaving behind there. It’s just like a liar to tell you that the truth is a lie and a lie is the truth. How do they go through life keeping up with all of that? And it really gets them when you speak the truth to them…they get all pissed and start acting like “how dare you speak the truth to me….don’t you know I’m made up of lies?” Not to sound like A Few Good Men, but they truly can’t handle the truth. Pathetic.

    • beautifulmess7 January 25, 2013 at 10:54 pm #

      I couldn’t have said it better if I tried. I know, because I did. Haha. Thanks for the confirmation that I’m not, in fact, crazy. At least no crazier than most people. 🙂

  2. Tiffany (lifewithblondie) January 25, 2013 at 9:10 am #

    I wonder why men usually only go to therapy when their wives make them… don’t they ever just want to go on a journey to a better self? Baffling…

    • beautifulmess7 January 25, 2013 at 10:59 am #

      Apparently not, and anyone who does want to better themself is a nut job.

    • Castimonia January 25, 2013 at 12:28 pm #

      You can blame society and parents for that one. How many fathers have you seen ask their sons to share their feelings openly v the number of fathers that have told their sons to “toughen up!”

      Therein lies the answer to your question. There are, however, a few men I have come across that stepped out of denial on their own and sought help without being confronted from their wife, even single men as well. It takes a lot of courage to do that!

      • beautifulmess7 January 25, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

        You can blame society for lots of things. I know what you’re trying to say. HOWEVER, I was also told to “toughen up” and not cry by my Dad more times than I can count. What someone else does or doesn’t do really has no bearing on how you choose to live as an adult. Just look at people like Martin Luther King, Jr. who could have used his neighborhood and lack of money and oppression and race and any number of excuses as reasons NOT to better himself. Instead, he chose to change the world. People who blame their circumstances or society or their parents are just looking for excuses not to take personal responsibility.

        It takes a lot of courage for ANYONE to seek to better themselves and face their demons. It also takes dedication and a desire to be well for yourself. My ex obviously doesn’t have that, and it’s no one’s fault but his own.

        • beautifulmess7 February 2, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

          It appears your comments were going into my SPAM. I get so many of those that I usually just “Empty all” without looking through them. This time it happened to be near the top.

  3. ctripp91 January 24, 2013 at 10:56 pm #

    Nut job?? i don’t think so… But im’ pretty sure your awesome!

  4. longtooth January 24, 2013 at 9:57 pm #

    hey, have you ever heard Titanium by Sia? I just heard it for the first time the other day and it’s amazing.

    • beautifulmess7 January 24, 2013 at 10:58 pm #

      I have not, but now I will have to check it out on YouTube.

  5. longtooth January 24, 2013 at 9:53 pm #

    Fellow nut job reporting in 🙂 I’m very pleased you sent him that closing blow by text.

    • beautifulmess7 January 24, 2013 at 10:57 pm #

      Good. I know it was petty, but sometimes I just get tired of always being the mature one.

      • longtooth January 24, 2013 at 11:05 pm #

        pettiness in moderation can be rather therapeutic. I indulge in it from time to time. It gets tiresome always being mature when dealing with clowns.

        • beautifulmess7 January 24, 2013 at 11:07 pm #

          Yes it does

          • longtooth January 24, 2013 at 11:11 pm #

            now listen to Titanium…you’ll love it

  6. Our Journey After His Affair January 24, 2013 at 9:03 pm #

    LOVE this!!!

  7. Samantha Baker January 24, 2013 at 8:31 pm #

    Well, clearly I must be a fellow nut job then cause I keep company with you. LOL Love mah nut job!!!

    Matt get’s his schedule for the next four weeks tomorrow. We need to hook up!

    • beautifulmess7 January 24, 2013 at 8:56 pm #

      Absolutely!!! You’re very close by. I’m actually going to be in the area tomorrow (or Saturday, depending on the weather) for a singing competition

      • Samantha Baker January 25, 2013 at 8:50 am #

        I could meet up with you Saturday if that’s when you head this way…

        • beautifulmess7 January 25, 2013 at 9:21 am #

          Pick a time and place and I will be there!

          • Samantha Baker January 25, 2013 at 9:26 am #

            Well where is your competition? Is there specific time/place you have to be for that? We could always go torment Matt, he’s working tomorrow.


  1. Got the Ball Rolling | Being a Beautiful Mess - May 10, 2013

    […] really care how quickly this divorce is over, even though he’s married to a “nut job.”  He’s certainly not suddenly so busy and so important that he hasn’t had the […]

  2. Lazy Brain and the Narcissistic Sociopath | Being a Beautiful Mess - April 8, 2013

    […] comfort zone.  He cried and pouted, first to me, then to anyone who would listen.  He blamed me, called me a “nut job,” denied even cheating on me or causing any of the problems in our marriage, then ran away.  He […]

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