How Things Change in a Year

9 Apr

A year ago today, on April 9th, 2012, I wrote my first blog post.  It wasn’t especially great. However, it was the first step in a life-altering process.

This last year has brought more change and growth than I ever could have anticipated.  In the past 365 days I have shared my hopes, fears, and dreams on my blog.  I have gone through low lows and high highs. I have cried and laughed. I have felt trapped and freer than ever before.

A year ago today I was confused, hurting, and feeling very betrayed. I decided to start a blog with the intent of getting the words out of my head. I never thought anyone would read it. I certainly had no idea of the community I would find and the friends I would make.

When I started this blog I was one year past DDay. I was still feeling lost and angry. I was discovering lies and struggling with his mood swings and lack of motivation. He said what I wanted to hear, then did the exact opposite. He would rage and then “love bomb” me (another term I learned from Paula). I felt crazy.

Today I am less than a week from starting the divorce process. I feel strong and confident. I’m halfway through my first MBA class, and I currently have a 100% average. I drove around today in my car with the windows open, my arm out the window and the radio blaring. I had nowhere to go and nothing to do besides sing at the top of my lungs and enjoy the 92(!) degree weather.

This last year has been hard and wonderful and full of insights. Thanks for your part in that! Here’s hoping the next year is even better. Cheers!

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25 Responses to “How Things Change in a Year”

  1. Lee Kaplanian April 12, 2013 at 3:03 pm #

    I think you may need to change your blog title, you are beautiful but not a mess any more. What would it take for you to know you aren’t a mess any more?

    • beautifulmess7 April 12, 2013 at 3:48 pm #

      Oh, I don’t know. I think I may always be a bit of a mess. I kinda like it because it reminds me that no matter what I can never be perfect.

  2. rgonaut April 10, 2013 at 12:41 pm #

    You’ve come so far even since july when I first started reading your blog (I think). You’ve changed into a much happier person, and if that photo is really you, I can see it in your eyes. You have a wonderful future to look forward too!

  3. Becki Duckworth April 10, 2013 at 3:08 am #

    Congrats and Happy Blogging Anniversary. That sounds so fun I want to get into my little hamster car ( I bought a new Kia Soul) and do the same. I just need the warm weather!

    • beautifulmess7 April 10, 2013 at 6:55 am #

      It was wonderful to drive with the wind on my face and a song on my lips. It was snowing here two weeks ago, frost on my windshield every morning last week, then this week we have two or three days that will reach the 90s. Just crazy.

      That is a fun little car you’ve got. When the warm weather reaches you, enjoy yourself!

  4. Samantha Baker April 9, 2013 at 9:57 pm #

    Proud of you!!!

  5. wallybear12 April 9, 2013 at 9:47 pm #

    You have been and still are my inspiration, I want to feel just a small amount of the happiness you feel.

  6. wallybear12 April 9, 2013 at 9:46 pm #

    You are my inspiration!

  7. Ben April 9, 2013 at 9:42 pm #

    Congrats on your 1st blogiversary!! You certainly took to blogging like a fish to water, and I’ve enjoyed reading your thoughts here as well as your insights into my own blogposts. Looking forward to reading you this next year 🙂

    • beautifulmess7 April 9, 2013 at 9:46 pm #

      Thanks Ben! I can never forget that you were my catalyst and inspiration to start this. Before i read your blog i had no real concept of what blogging even was. You made a much bigger impact on my life than I think you even realize. I appreciate it. 🙂

      • Ben April 9, 2013 at 9:48 pm #

        I had a few friends who inspired me to start blogging, so I’m happy to have paid it forward. I daresay you’ve connected with a much wider audience than I, so the padewan has become the master 😉

        • beautifulmess7 April 9, 2013 at 9:57 pm #

          I don’t know about that, but I will accept the complement. Funnily enough, my company has a forum where users are ranked with Star Wars terms based on their number of posts. I just achieved Jedi standing there. 😀

          • Ben April 9, 2013 at 10:01 pm #

            hee hee, the Force is with you!! 😉

  8. Stacia April 9, 2013 at 8:40 pm #

    Cheers to one year!!!!!! 😉 Only better things for you in the future. Keep writing!!!

    • beautifulmess7 April 9, 2013 at 8:45 pm #

      I will. I just have to decide what I should write about. Happiness leaves so much less food for thought. Or maybe just my current state of happiness that is all about feeling content and doing what naturally makes me happy. It’s so much less complicated, and sometimes I think it’s maybe a little boring.

      • Stacia April 9, 2013 at 8:50 pm #

        I totally get that! When I was writing about porn addiction and heartbreak, I always had something to work through. Now…dreams and goals and life as a single person. Not so exciting, but a something necessary for the next phase of our lives! Always something to share!

        • beautifulmess7 April 9, 2013 at 9:01 pm #

          That is true. Drama is NOT more interesting. It’s just more intense. I’m loving mellow these days.

  9. Paula April 9, 2013 at 8:38 pm #

    You deserve to live a beautiful life that matches your beautiful face and smile!!! 🙂

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