Future of this Blog?

24 May


The original purpose of this blog, which was to deal with my marital issues and my husband’s infidelity and sex addiction, is something that no longer really exists in my life.  I know that a lot of my followers came here because I addressed those issues and others, like codependency, separation, and recently divorce.  Now that those things are wrapping up I wonder if continuing to update this blog is helpful to anyone.  I feel like I have less and less to say that is “on topic.”

I don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing, personally, because it means that I am moving on and healing.  However, I wonder if my followers are getting anything out of this blog anymore.  I’ve been contemplating what I should do moving forward.  Not blog?  Start a new one?  Stay here and change the general theme?  I thought I would reach out and ask you guys what you would like.  Do you even care about the general updates about my life and other things I’ve been posting recently?

The good news is that I’m still a mess, just a little different type of mess.  But does anyone really care about that?  I worry that this has started to devolve into the type of blog I never wanted to be where I just post random shit about my life with no real value to anyone else.  Are there topics you would like me to write about?  Things that would be more relevant to you as readers than what I’ve been posting lately?


26 Responses to “Future of this Blog?”

  1. peregrinerose May 30, 2013 at 11:00 am #

    Your blog is all about YOU, and as you grow and change, so can your blog. It’s not up to any of us what you should do, or what you should write about. Blogs are a little window into your head, and It’s totally your call what goes on in there. I’ve enjoyed reading your thoughts and words, regardless of the topic… addiction or anything else.

  2. Cindy at Affaircare May 26, 2013 at 5:57 pm #

    I personally still think you’re a beautiful mess so I vote that you continue blogging! Now you just have a DIFFERENT mess (lol) 😛 Blog about your new mess.

  3. Lynette d'Arty-Cross May 26, 2013 at 11:58 am #

    I originally began blogging about narcissism, but I, too, began to realize that I didn’t need to write about it all the time. I changed the name of my blog and started posting about other things. Write about what you would like to write about, and congratulations on feeling the need to move on! 🙂

    • beautifulmess7 May 26, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

      Thanks. You’re right! That’s a great milestone to be faced with.

  4. Lee Kaplanian May 25, 2013 at 11:55 pm #

    I agree with many of the comments, keep writing whatever moves you. My blog started out being about dealing with Rheumatoid Arthritis and finding the gift in it. I found myself writing about dealing with my Mom’s dementia at times, sometimes how it affects the RA. Now it is more what pushes me to write because sometimes it is hard to put into words and tell what you feel. I realize that sometimes I don’t really know what is going on inside me and writing is a way to express it. Mostly I talk about what I am doing and what I am learning – maybe at some point it will be of use to someone else.

    Showing others what you have been through, what you have learned and how it helped you move on is very valuable. I agree with Ben, write if it feels right and about what you feel the urge to write. Remember, it isn’t rocket science. You have helped a lot of people and continuing to write will bring those who are meant to come to your blog.

    • beautifulmess7 May 26, 2013 at 3:12 pm #

      Your comments about writing to really understand what is going on inside are so spot on.

      • Lee Kaplanian May 27, 2013 at 3:12 pm #

        Sometime writing something down gets it out of your head and gives you time to begin to see it objectively. I have been known to start writing and get all my anger, frustration and any other negative emotions out – better than a good cry sometimes. I may bot have changed the situation at that moment, but I changed my attitude.

  5. Our Journey After His Affair May 24, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

    I like hearing updates about your divorce and look forward to hearing about your next relationship. 🙂 If anything, leave your posts up for other who are still struggling. I’ve had a lot of people come across my blog and certain posts have helped them.

    • beautifulmess7 May 24, 2013 at 4:36 pm #

      I have seen the same thing happen. I guess I was thinking that maybe I should start a new blog, but the more I think about it the less that makes sense. First of all, this blog’s title is all about me. I am the beautiful mess, not my marriage, and certainly not my almost-ex. There’s really nothing beautiful about him at all.

      I *DO *hope that I will have another update soon on the divorce front. I’m so done in every single way that this last thread to him is like an annoying itch (sorta like the kind he could have given me with all of that unprotected sex he was having). Hahaha… I crack myself up. I’m such a dork. 🙂

      • Our Journey After His Affair May 24, 2013 at 4:45 pm #

        Bahaha!!! You are funny! I’m sure some day he’ll wind up with some kind of itch….a wicked itch. If you are reading this Chris (right?), maybe you should start a blog called The Wicked Itch and boast about all of your sexual adventures!

        Anyhow. I think that keeping what you have and just transitioning along the way: bad relationship/affairs/sex addict >> divorce and independence/finding yourself again >> learning to trust and build new relationships is a great idea!

  6. Becki Duckworth May 24, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

    Stay here , the blog will show your transformation and healing.

  7. Ben May 24, 2013 at 1:08 pm #

    For many — like me, and I think like you — writing is therapeutic. You started this blog as a way to help yourself in the situation you were in and to reach out to others too… and it certainly appears you have succeeded in the goal. What you need in your life is different now than it was when you started the blog, so it’s natural to shift gears and ponder what writing and blogging can do for you now. I’ve been going through a bit of that in my own blogging since I’ve covered much of what my initial intentions for the blog were. I’m not really sure where to go from here… so my blog is mostly inactive, but waiting for me to return 🙂

    I do think you should keep writing “if it feels right” and just see where things go; I suspect many of your followers will enjoy reading about what life brings you, if nothing else as an example of what life is like post-divorce, etc.

  8. Anonymous May 24, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    Hi if you do continue with the blog, can you talk about how to move on from a bad relationship. I went through the same thing you went through, but for me it’s still so hard to heal and move on in my life. I hope you keep the blog I like to hear from you 🙂

    • beautifulmess7 May 24, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

      That is a great topic idea. I absolutely will think on that, share what I’ve been doing, and maybe offer insight in whatever way I can.

  9. paddledhusband May 24, 2013 at 12:16 pm #

    You should definitely continue. Our blogs represent our daily lives and, like, us, they constantly evolve. As time goes by you’ll probably find new directions for your blog to go.

  10. Paula May 24, 2013 at 11:58 am #

    I’ve been where you are. It means you’re in a good place! Writing and sharing shouldn’t feel like a chore. If you worry about pleasing us, you’ll lose yourself. If you feel like you want a break, take a break! We’ll still be here waiting for your blog updates to popup in our inbox. Just don’t delete the blog, please. 🙂

    • beautifulmess7 May 24, 2013 at 12:00 pm #

      Okay, I won’t. I never intended to delete it. I still get a surprising number of hits and even comments on older posts. That means people are still getting something out of it. And you’re right that blogging should never be a chore. I appreciate your insight.

  11. Shelley May 24, 2013 at 11:43 am #

    I think you should continue… Yes many of came here because of a parallel experience, but continue with how you overcome and where you are now, for one gives me hope that I will get there in time. We are all a beautiful mess! I have read many of self-help books…. yadda yadda…. They tell you how wonderful life is and yes it is, however there is a lot of shit that needs to be turned to gold! 🙂 It is nice to know that my boat is not with others floating along… if you get my drift! LOL You are an inspiration from beginning to end…. I think you should continue to share your journey, even if you are going in a new direction. Just my thoughts and ramblings!

    • beautifulmess7 May 24, 2013 at 12:02 pm #

      I enjoy thoughts and ramblings. I do a lot of that these days. I have read all sorts of self-help stuff, too. I’m getting tired of that. I don’t need someone else to tell me what I want or need or should do. I’m going to follow my heart. We’ll see where it leads. If you still want to hear about it, then I guess I will continue to blog. And those that don’t want to hear about it can just stop following. 🙂

      I also love the shit to gold comment. I do feel like sometimes that’s what life is all about: Dealing with the shit and making something good out of it.

      • Spry May 26, 2013 at 1:13 am #

        Just remember, it is not who you will become if you only look to the future, but who you become if you remember how you overcame the past,


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