This was my reality for so long. I am slowly getting past it, but it is such a difficult thing to unravel from your psyche.
I have no idea if other people have used this same expression, but my mother used it today, and it hit home, so I’m going to adopt it.
She used it to describe the reflex I have to please people, to be whom they want me to be, to do what they want me to do.
The idea of being a disappointment fills me with fear. I want to say the right things and do the right things and be the right person for the people I care about, the ones whose opinions matter. Part of my ability as a performer is to customize myself to be the person that another might want or need me to be. It is why it is easy for me to lose myself in a relationship, and why the “me” that I am is often different from one relationship to the next. I want…
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