This is a very honest self-reflection that I can relate to.
Originally posted on Healing :
Yes, I did that.
As evil and monstrous and horrible and not humane as the narcissist was to me, I gave him the keys first and I did not take them back until recently.
I did that out of my ignorance, innocence, trust, pain and inner wounds. I did it out of me ignoring what was hurting in my life and that I did not want to deal with, my low self esteem and low self worth.
He lied and I forgave because I was scared that… nobody else would love me, because I was not a quitter and I believed we could fix it not knowing at this stage what I was dealing with in fact.
He cheated and I forgave because … I was hooked and my codependency was in full blown.
I strongly believe if I had not been carrying those things around he could have targeted…
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