Another Happy Update

20 Mar


I don’t post here very much anymore because the main topics aren’t relevant to my life anymore. I still read and reply to comments. I still get emails from people going through hell. I continue keeping the blog open because I know what it’s like to feel stuck in an unhealthy relationship. I know how reading other people’s experiences can turn in a light bulb or feel like the first breath of fresh air in ages. I understand needing to hear that what’s happening is not okay and things can (and do) get better when you stop accepting less than.

Those realities are distant memories to me now, though. The person I was when I started this is not the person I am now.  That portion of my life feels more like a bad dream than something that really happened. It did happen, though, and this blog serves as a reminder that life is what you allow it to be. I can’t control everything, but controlling the things I can and letting go of the rest can result in pretty amazing things.

So I don’t post often, largely because dwelling in the past doesn’t do anything for me in the present. I will occasionally check in with little updates on where I am and what’s happening. It’s nice for me to celebrate the good that came from all of the bad.  This is one of those updates.

I am 24 weeks pregnant. We’re having a little boy who is healthy and active and already immensely loved. I couldn’t be more excited to start this new chapter of my life.

That’s something I couldnt have imagined in the depths of financially supporting an immature, cheating partner. It’s something I couldn’t have done while I was codependent and putting my needs last.  I had to learn how to be emotionally healthy. I had to choose a partner who is a partner and be a good one in return.

So, although I don’t check in frequently, know that I’m doing great. I’m still imperfect and a bit of a mess, but it’s a different kind of mess. Soon, it’ll be the kind covered in baby vomit, surrounded by a pile of dirty diapers. And I couldn’t be happier.


9 Responses to “Another Happy Update”

  1. Jessica May 21, 2017 at 2:54 pm #

    I love your writing… you should begin a new blog from the beautiful side of life! 🙂 I’d love to see how life is doing with you these days!

  2. Su May 31, 2016 at 5:35 am #

    Hi, thanks for heart felt post. I am so glad u are on a happy footing… with someone you can relate to, i have never known what it is like to be in a rich relationship..with a man…rich i mean one that i feel connected.joyful..motivated..happy in.i hope to experience a warm relationship with a man but it didnt happen to me .he us adhd and passive aggressive.. so i now know why our so called marriage has neen dysfunctional all these years.
    .he is who he is but i feel i deserve.. my true knight in shining armour…i have been a stable wife loving my kids…loving him…but there is no relationship with him, thanks for listening …i wish u all joy in life, regards su

  3. Jade April 19, 2016 at 8:29 am #

    Your blog is an inspiration -not just to realize that there are others out there you have known and felt that hell, but also to know it is possible to get out of it and live happy. I left you a comment sometime ago and reading through the posts was one of the turning points for me to start the journey of being emotionally resilient.Thank you so much for sharing what you did and sharing how you are even now. xoxo

  4. Shannon phillips March 21, 2016 at 3:31 pm #

    I have come to being a single father of two is ok and that is my relationship now. I am not allowing the past to change who I am and moving forward. She is someone else’s problem now and I deal with her only for the kids we share and that gets ruff at times. But I dont let it control me and what I am doing for my future. Ty for your blog.

  5. Catherine March 20, 2016 at 9:23 pm #

    This is beautiful !!! All the best to you !

  6. smitten March 20, 2016 at 8:30 pm #

    Wonderful news!!!! Congratulations on the upcoming arrival of your son!

  7. survivamama March 20, 2016 at 4:09 pm #

    I’m so happy for you. I have been following your blog since Feb 2012 when I learned about my husband’s affair. We have ridden it out (we had 3 kids the last of which was 1 month old when I learned about him cheating). You helped me so much even though our situations were very different. I no longer comment or read blogs about affairs because thankfully we have mended the relationship to a point where it’s not really an issue (although I still get triggered but no ptsd symptoms anymore)…and like you it doesn’t help me to move forward. But I wanted to tell you how happy I am for you…i feel like I sort of know you 🙂 and it’s wonderful that you’re having a baby with this new healthy partner. All the best!
    (you might remember I started a blog 4 years ago in the thick of things called survivamama but couldn’t really keep at it with the kids, work and life…you commented sometimes and it was always very thoughtful and encouraging).

    • beautifulmess7 March 20, 2016 at 4:11 pm #

      I do remember you, and I’m so glad your life has taken a positive turn, too. Thanks for the encouraging comment!

  8. myworldshattered March 20, 2016 at 10:34 am #

    Yay! I’m really happy for you.

Tell me what you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: