Tag Archives: connecting

Best Second Date Ever

18 Sep

As promised, I am finally getting around to sharing about my wonderful second date with Tony.

Tony arranged to come pick me up because it’s the gentlemanly thing to do. I thought that touch was perfect for a second date, especially given that we had interacted enough since the first date for me to feel comfortable and safe with him. Tony planned for us to have dinner at a new restaurant in a part of the city known for cute, trendy shops and great independent restaurants. It is also quite crowded on Friday nights, and parking is notoriously difficult to find.

As I mentioned in my last post, we texted back and forth beforehand, and joked about who was more excited about the date. At one point in the day he texted me this: “I bought a smaller car so I can park you closer to the restaurant. It should be delivered today.” I knew he was giddy, too, but that warranted an incredulous “What?” His reply made me literally laugh out loud: “Well, ok. It’s for one of my salesmen. But I am going to hang on to it for a day so I don’t have to park my truck. :P”

man-opening-door-for-lady-tmProblems with the car ended up delaying delivery, so he had to bring his Ford F-150 Raptor. I told him that I have no complaints because I love big trucks. I did offer to let him drive my car, since a Chevy Cruze would be significantly more likely to fit in the little street parking spaces. He said that wouldn’t work because he wanted to pull up to the walk and open the car door for me. In fact, he said that’s something he does whether it is date 1 or 100. As self-sufficient as I am, that is refreshing, sweet, and makes me feel very womanly in a wonderful way.

Tony arrived at my house promptly at 7 pm, to the minute, which was incredibly impressive. True to his word, he opened the truck door, and helped me up. Our conversation on the way to the restaurant was easy and full of laughter. When we reached our destination, his fear of the area being too crowded to find parking was realized. After meandering up and down through several side streets in an ever-widening radius, we accepted that parking anywhere remotely close to the restaurant was not likely. He suggested a nearby place where we could park across the street in a lot. I had been there once before, and enjoyed it, so we changed locations.

It was a good choice. We didn’t have far to walk, but we did cross Broad Street, a fairly busy multi-lane road. When he reached down and took my hand, my heart jumped. I still get butterflies in my stomach recalling that moment. That simple gesture was electrifying. When he opened the restaurant door and put his hand on the small of my back to usher me in ahead of him, I think I stopped breathing. Nothing existed except the nerve endings under his fingertips.

He gave his name to the hostess at the front, which for some reason made my heart leap again (probably at the prospect of being called for dinner using his last name- there is something so delicious about that). She said it would be a few minutes for a table, so we found seats at the end of the bar. He pulled the chair out for me, never missing an opportunity to be a gentleman.

We sat at the bar, our arms barely brushing. He looked at me with those amazing blue eyes, and ran his fingers gently down my arm to rest his hand in mine. That moment may be my favorite among all of the phenomenal ones the evening had in store. It held so much intensity, tenderness, tension, and intimacy that it sent chills through my entire body. We lingered there, our eyes locked, both of us sporting huge grins, until the bartender broke our reverie.

Tony glanced at the beer list, and asked a question about what was on tap. He’s a beer connoisseur, while I know absolutely nothing. He ordered a beer for me to try, which was more on the light side, and something heartier and darker for himself. Our conversation continued, and drifted from topic to topic effortlessly, including family, work, hobbies, and more. He was engaging and funny, and found the perfect little ways to touch my arm when he leaned in to talk.

Once we moved to a table, things kept the same easiness. We had reserved a few interesting topics from our texting for dinner conversation. I found myself rambling on, and telling all sorts of stories. We shared and talked like we had known each other for ages, even while discovering each other. I never stopped laughing or being surprised by his wit.

After dinner, we held hands walking out of the restaurant and back to his truck. He drove me home, and I played him a song on the piano and a song on the guitar, just like I had promised. He had been wanting to hear me sing, and I had been wanting to knock his socks off. We both got our wish.

He stayed the night. There wasn’t much sleeping. An hour’s worth, maybe.

The next morning, when our bodies registered something other than our desire for one another, Tony took me to breakfast. At the restaurant, he opened the door for me and the woman behind me. She seemed surprised that he didn’t just do the standard “toss the door open a little bit more for the person behind you” move. As she walked in behind me, she told me that he’s a keeper. There’s no way she could have known we were still technically on our second date. I could already tell she was right, though.

Breakfast was great. So was getting back to my house and laying in bed together. We talked all day, and I was never bored. Again, we laughed and connected and exchanged stories. He showed me pictures, we shared messages from other people on the dating sites, and he kept surprising me with his intellect, honesty, humor, and amazing personality. When we got hungry again, we shared a shower and he took me to lunch. Then back home and back to snuggling and exploring each other – not just physically, though that certainly was part of it.

Quite a phenomenal part of it, in fact. Mind blowing doesn’t even begin to describe it. I’ve never experienced anything that amazing. I’ve had marathon sessions with one other partner, but nothing like that. In the fifteen or so hours we spent in bed together, I had countless orgasms. Literally. There is absolutely no way I could have kept track. He achieved an incredibly impressive eleven. My entire body was like jelly, and I was left with lots of laundry to do.

Approximately 26 hours after it began, our second date ended when Tony went home Saturday night. Around 10 pm he texted to say:

“That was the best second date I’ve ever had. I didn’t feel like I would ever get sick of lying there with you.”

I couldn’t agree more.


Being Connected

29 May

This weekend was an extended, holiday weekend for both of us.  It was really nice to have that extra day to relax and connect.  We were able to have some fun together and experience a few new things.  It reminded me of how great it is to just hang out with my husband.

On Saturday morning we had our couple’s therapy appointment.  It was the first one after our big blow-out fight.  It was a little uncomfortable going through all of those details again and seeing all of the ways we went wrong.  We were able to turn it into a positive like I was hoping, though.  All in all by the end we both felt more understood.

The best part of Saturday happened after that, though.  We had tickets to see Bodies The Exhibition.  On our way there we stopped at Friendly’s to have lunch and some ice cream.  It was fun picking out our toppings and enjoying a carefree, junk-food type meal.  Once we got to where the exhibit was we looked around in the gift shop a bit before it was time to head on in.  Although we only spent about 15 minutes or so browsing around, we did open up some neat anatomy books.  It was really great to talk about something non- sex-addiction or relationship related.  We laughed at ourselves and our less-than-fantastic knowledge of where all of the organs are located.  Let’s just say neither one of us could be doctors.  It’s a good thing we have never, ever had the urge.

The actual exhibit itself was wonderful.  I had seen it once about 7 years ago or so.  This one had a lot of the same stuff, but some news things as well.  Plus, I could see that exhibit 100 more times before I could retain all of the information.  There were cases and cases of bones, plasticized organs, joints, and various body parts.  They also had full human skeletons arranged in different positions – like ice skating, playing baseball, dancing, etc. – with various degrees of muscles, skin, bones, and nerves showing.  They had an entire display on brains, memory, and nerve-endings.  It was amazing.

They also had a very interesting part of the exhibit showing the amount of food and average weekly cost for families around the world.  It was thought-provoking to see what the average family in various countries eats in one week.  The photos had the entire spread laid out across their kitchen or dining room with the cost in U.S. dollars.  We weren’t the worst of the bunch, surprisingly, but we were terrible gluttons compared to families in some African countries whose entire weekly meal consisted of a few bags of rice, corn, and some other dried substances totaling only $1.93 in cost.  Obviously, there were extremes on either side of the spectrum.  The most intriguing were countries whose weekly meals consisted mostly of fruits, vegetables, small amounts of meat, and no processed junk food.  It is cheaper and more nutritious to eat that way.  I just wish it was easier.  It definitely made me think about ways to change our diet to make it healthier.

We spent almost 2 hours in the exhibit looking at everything together.  We talked about some of the stuff, especially the several completely blackened and cancerous smoker’s lungs.  I am so incredibly glad that Mr. Mess stopped smoking 2 years ago.  I know it is not the only danger out there, but it certainly is at the very top of the list of destructive things that people do to themselves.  The whole experience is something that I highly recommend to anyone who has the opportunity to visit one of those exhibits.  It was a great way to lose ourselves in one another and learn new and stimulating things.  When else will you get such an opportunity to see real human anatomy inside and out, up close, in detail, with explanations and comprehensive descriptions?  Nowhere outside of medical school.

After that we headed home for some relaxation.  During one of our couple’s exercises in the book we do together every week the topic of favorite movies came up.  We have talked about movies and television a lot.  Our tastes are very similar, however, there are a few places where we definitely divert.  One reason is the age difference.  He was watching movies for years that were made before I was even born.  A few of them are favorites of his that I have never seen.  One example is Alien.  I admit that I have never seen any of the movies – not even the more recent ones.

So we decided to make this weekend a movie weekend.  We went out shopping, picked up a few of his favorites, and I raided my movie collection for favorites of mine that he hadn’t seen.  We made sure to get Alien and Aliens (the first and second movies).  We also bought Highlander.  I re-arranged all of my DVDs and Blu-rays after getting rid of my really old VHSs – since I don’t even have a VCR anymore.  We then picked out a few movies and watched away.

I have to admit that the Alien movie was really great, especially for something made so long ago.  He warned me that the special effects wouldn’t really be that great, but I didn’t see a problem with them at all.  I love horror movies that make you jump, and boy did this one!  I do consider myself a nerd, and even a little bit of a geek, especially after I met my husband (and yes, there is a difference).  I previously would have just flat-out refused to watch anything set in outer space…  I was not interested at all.  Since meeting Mr. Mess I have opened myself up quite a bit to different movie genres.  This is one movie that I’m glad I saw.  I think the whole thing was really well done.

I absolutely cannot say the same thing about Highlander.  I really don’t understand how him (or anyone for that matter) could find that movie good in any sense of the word.  It blows me away that he likes it and has watched it a lot.  Like over 10 times.  Are you kidding me?  It was awful.  Truly.  Excruciatingly so.  I get the whole sword-fighting appeal (but in a high-rise building in the 20th century?), and I know that he is into the whole fantasy genre (immortals, and the whole 9 yards).  But wow…  This movie had a plot that made absolutely no sense, horrible acting, worse “special effects,” no real premise that was interesting in the least, and to top it all off it was horribly predictable and treated the audience like they are morons (you do not have to spell out every single little thing).  And don’t get me started on the horrible 80s music and outfits…

Still, I watched it.  I do know that I complained more than I should have.  More than I told myself I would.  I had committed in my brain that I wouldn’t say anything negative at all.  That I would do my absolute best to understand the movie and why my husband liked it.  I failed miserably at that.  I even tried asking him what he liked about it, but he couldn’t really tell me.  Probably because I had already approached things in a damaging manner.  I will have to do better next time.  I just really wasn’t expecting anything that bad.

Mr. Mess watched Spanglish and The Terminal with me, mostly because it seemed too depressing to watch House of Sand and Fog or Schindler’s List (I realized that I tend to like things on the serious side).  I remember both of those as really good movies the first time I watched them, with just a touch of comedy in a realistic storyline.  It had been several years since I watched either one, and I have to say that I was a bit disappointed.  I still think the actors and stories were great, but I hadn’t remembered that BOTH of them deal with infidelity to some degree.  Talk about a bummer.  Spanglish was tough, especially when Tea Leoni’s character revealed her affair…  The whole thing was a little too real.  They were easier to watch than I thought they would be, though.  I think it’s because we are in such a better place.

We also had a Criminal Minds marathon – we went through a few discs of the second season and are almost into the third.  The best part was all the lying around eating yummy food, though.  We had dinner from my favorite Thai restaurant, takeout from Mexico (really their cheese dip is perhaps the best thing in the world), donuts, a hot fudge sundae from McDonald’s, and steaks on the grill with baked potatoes and lima beans.  That thing about healthy eating that I mentioned earlier?  That didn’t start this weekend.

We also did some (minimal) house work, and took all 3 of our dogs to the groomers.  Add in a new dog bed, some treats, and a few extras and that was a painful bill.  Having all of the dogs freshly washed, smelling good, and devoid of hair to shed everywhere was worth it, though.  We let them all in with us and had a puppy pile while we were watching Criminal Minds.  It had such a happy, normal feel to it.  I wish every day could be that relaxing.

I enjoyed our low-key holiday weekend, especially because I barely had to get dressed.  😉  It was really nice to just spend time together connecting and enjoying one another’s company.  We were able to find our great chemistry again and just laugh, lounge, and love each other.  I think it was my favorite Memorial Day weekend ever.  I look forward to more time like that in the future.

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