Tag Archives: crazy

Apparently I’m a Nut Job

24 Jan

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Just thought you guys should know.  You wouldn’t want to follow the blog of a nut job would you?  Hahaha.  🙂

I asked if he was still going to his Saturday morning meetings because I’ve been avoiding that group for a while for fear of running into him.  I didn’t want to make things awkward.  I just asked because I’ve missed the ladies in that group and wanted to know.  He said he hasn’t been to “one of those meetings” since he left, so I should go to that one again if I want.

He also said that he is never going back, and made this snide face that I can’t quite describe.  He was standing there with his greasy hair sticking up in all directions and a superior look on his face, like he was getting great pleasure out of proving how much better he is than me (by continuing in his addiction and denying there was ever a problem).  I broke and said something like, “Of course not.  You like being completely screwed up sexually.”  Then he said, “And you like being a nut job.”  I said, “Okay, sure” and he repeated himself as he finally walked out of the door.

That conversation was on the heels of another gem.  He said that he didn’t want to take anything that I had paid for so that I couldn’t write about him on my “little blog” to tell all of my “people” that he was a deadbeat – as his car was outside full of things that I had paid for.  I said as much – what kind of weird double standard is it to not want to take anything your spouse paid for while carrying an armload of things they bought?  Then he said that he didn’t think gifts applied – although all the kitchen things he took tonight were just items I purchased while he was in school for him to use in the house.  Truly, I’m not going to use them and he needed to take all of it because I don’t want to look at it and he’s the only one who needs a pasta maker and ravioli press and other crap that I can’t remember the name of.  But still… don’t say you don’t want anything I paid for when the only things in this house are things I bought.

Then he said something like, “We can both just keep anything we bought, including gifts,” because then he could have “all the jewelry” he got me.  I asked, what jewelry? The one necklace (that his brother paid for) and the wedding rings?  AAA-PHOTO-I-SEE-DUMB-PEOPLE4He then claimed to have purchased me several diamond necklaces, but couldn’t name any other than the (only) one he gave me 3 years ago, which his brother put on his credit card.  Oh, and the $90 earrings he gave me at our wedding reception.  Apparently he didn’t like that reminder of his lack of money (or responsibility) during our entire relationship because that’s when he started raising his voice and giving me the crazy eyes.

Before he left he mentioned something about not being able to wait for April.  Like I’m just pining away for him over here.  LOL.  I offered him an out – just admit that you cheated on me and this can be done immediately, like yesterday.  The papers can be filed and everything can be finished as soon as a judge signs the order.  He then said that he never cheated on me.  Really?  Oh, and that he lied about the 4 other women he had affairs with to “speed things along.”  Riiiiggght!  Maybe he’s even convinced himself of that.  Why he wouldn’t just have left on his own is a mystery, but when you make up lies they never make complete sense.

I was very, very tempted to say that he should enjoy his hand as much as possible since that is the only partner he will get again other than possibly some internet skank who he can exchange STDs with.  But I restrained myself.  Temporarily.  I did buckle and couldn’t help but deliver a closing blow by text:

“Your family must be nut jobs too because several of them have contacted me to say they can’t believe I lasted as long as I did being married to you.”

(Aside:  This is completely true – cross my heart and hope to die.  I was as surprised as anyone to get multiple Facebook messages, texts and emails from HIS family congratulating me on cutting him loose…)

I followed that up with:

“And even if you claim not to have cheated, what’s one more lie?”

Immature?  Certainly.  But I don’t really care.  I’ll be the bigger person tomorrow.  Tonight I have a cold, I got 5 hours of sleep, and I needed to unload on someone.  He made a good target, especially since he goaded me to the point where I didn’t care to restrain myself any more.  Plus, I’m a nut job, right?

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Opinions People… Please!

31 May

I want to do something new and fun.  I’m thinking pink highlights.  I have very dark brown hair that is straight and semi-long (somewhere between shoulder length and way too long).  Here are a few pictures that are kinda like what I’m thinking about…

I love this minus the curls and the blue color. The base is pretty close to the color of my natural hair.

Again, minus the curls, but I like this amount of pink

Pink Highlights

Pink Highlights (Photo credit: coffeebooksbeer)

I have to admit…  I’m already starting to second guess myself.  Damn it – I like this, though!  I might have to get some clip-in extensions to play with a little bit before I’m ready to commit to this.  I’ve played everything safe in my life so far…  Sometimes I just want to do something crazy just because I want to.  I’m not sure how my boss will feel, though…

Thoughts anyone?

Hello world!

9 Apr

I know that Word Press says you should remove their initial post and re-title it, but I kinda liked the “Hello world!” title as my first post.  I am doing just that – introducing myself, my writing, and my own person world to everyone else out there sharing my planet.  I’m well aware that there are thousands upon thousands of blogs, so I don’t really expect that mine will get any type of special attention but I thought I’d give it a shot anyway.  If nothing else this can be an open journal of sorts.

This Polar Bear has absolutely nothing to do with my blog, but he was too cute to resits. Hello!!

My understanding is that a blog should be on some kind of general theme, it should (hopefully) add something useful to the clash of voices out there, and it should be a place to express yourself.  I hope I can do all of those things here – with “hope” being the optimal word.  I have never been a “writer” per say, but I have always enjoyed words.  I love reading them, I have occasionally written them (in a writing class, for my school’s newsletter, in numerous college papers, etc.), and I like to learn as many of them as I can.  I am not the most interesting person in the world, I tend to write run-on sentences (as you can probably already tell), and a lot of people don’t seem to connect with my sense of humor.  Still, I think I have something to offer and I think I have a unique voice (interpret unique any way you would like).

My primary focus in this blog will be relationships. Specifically it will be about my marriage and finding a way to work through infidelity very early on in a relationship. I hope it will be peppered with moments from my life that make the reader laugh, get frustrated, contemplate, and any number of the other emotions that I experience on a daily basis. I titled this “Being a Beautoful Mess” because that’s how I feel more often than not.  My posts will catch you up on my life, introduce you to my crazy side, and chronicle the roller-coaster that is being married to a cheater.  It’s a tall order, but hopefully I will deliver.

Crazy (Gnarls Barkley song)

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