Tag Archives: groupon

I have a confession to make…

30 Jul

I have a problem.  With shopping.  Most of the time I can control it.  In fact, 85% or more of the time you would think the opposite – that I am tight-fisted and even downright cheap.  The majority of the year I don’t buy myself a single thing – not one piece of clothing, not even a soda or bag of peanuts at a convenience store – nothing.  I save nearly every extra penny that I have.

The normal exception to the rule is the month or two leading up to Christmas.  I generally can’t control myself when it comes to buying gifts for the people that I love.  I have always prided myself on thinking things through and finding the perfect gift for each person – something they would treasure, something that fits their personality or interests, something they have probably wanted but just didn’t splurge on for themselves.  I would also make sure that all of my gifts were wrapped up really pretty and had a special feel.  No cop-out gift bags allowed!  Sometimes half of the fun is unwrapping a gorgeous gift, anticipating what may be inside, and seeing a peek, just the corner, before revealing the prize.

The last few months, though, I have blown all of that out of the water.  I made my Christmas spending last year look like a minor blip.  Even at Christmas-time I usually don’t raid my savings.  I’m just not putting all of my spare cash in there like normal.  This time around it is a whole new ballgame.

Here are some examples.  In the last month and a half I have spent probably $400 at Victoria’s Secret alone.  Yeah.  Damn you semi-annual sale!  I have spent $530 at my chiropractor and need a “refill” for my next 10 adjustments of another $530.  I spend a few hundred on a new tattoo and piercing, and I plan to spend another few hundred on another tattoo soon.  I have spent over $1,000 on my diet products and paraphernalia (scales – both for food and my body, shakes, juice, diet drops, multi-vitamins, specialty products like coconut oil, green tea, etc.), not counting the food.  Eating healthy is way more expensive!  I am the queen of deal sites like Groupon, Living Social, Woot, and others.  I have spent money on t-shirts, kitchen gadgets, clothes, shoes, and more.  When I see something I like or want, I just buy it.  I have never been like this ever.

My husband’s birthday is also coming up really soon.  He isn’t someone who does a lot for birthdays (a point of contention with us in the past), so he also doesn’t expect a lot.  He would be happy with a “Happy Birthday” and a kiss.  I just cannot accept that.  I have to do more.  It is a compulsion.  I don’t even know how much money I have spent already on his birthday, mostly because I don’t want to know.  Everything I have gotten he will use, he will love, and he has either talked about wanting or fits in with his current interests.  That’s not really the point, though, is it?

This is a new experience for me.  It is a new feeling.  Not caring how I spend my money, getting whatever I want, indulging myself, splurging without guilt.  Well, not entirely without guilt.  I wouldn’t be writing this otherwise, right?  I know I am worth it, but does really mean I need to spend it?  I know the answer is a resounding “no.”  Still, when I get a new email from Victoria’s Secret or Yankee Candle or Amazon, I can’t help but look.  And when I find that next thing I want, I may just go ahead and buy it.

When I take a hard look at all of this I know it is just another way to make myself feel better.  It’s a self-esteem thing as much as it’s about the “stuff.”  Do I really make myself feel better in the long run by spending money?  No.  Because at heart, I am a saver.  I feel good when I have security.  When I have a “back-up plan.”  When I can open up my savings book and see a lot of zeros.  At the same time, it does feel good to be a little out of character.  To think about myself first, for once, and not worry about “what ifs.”  It feels nice not being the “responsible one” all of the time.  Now I can see the draw of being a bit reckless and rash.

I think what I need to find is a little balance.  Some moderation.  I’ve officially decided that I am done with my shopping for Mr. Mess’s birthday.  I also deleted an email from Victoria’s Secret this morning without checking out the cute dresses that they have on sale right now.  I am trying to stop when I have the urge to buy and see what’s really behind that impulse.  Feel whatever it is I am feeling.  Give myself an hour and see if I still want it.  So far so good.

I don’t think I’m going to go a year anymore without buying anything for myself, though.  That’s too frugal.

I need balance… Just not this kind.

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Looking Forward to the Weekend

20 Apr

The last few weeks have been incredibly emotionally draining.  Besides all of the thoughts and memories brought up from the D-Day Anniversary I have also been dealing with a lot of stress at work.  I was supposed to be out of town this week at a training, but had to cancel at the last-minute and stay behind because of a “crisis” at work.  All week I have been on and off the phone, multi-tasking like crazy, and generally being all things to all people (even more than usual).  So I am super excited that today is Friday.

Why so excited you may ask?  What fascinating and amazing weekend activities do I have planned?  Absolutely nothing.  Literally.  I did have a semi-fun weekend planned with a trip to a Wine Festival that is about an hour and a half away.  I had two discount admissions courtesy of Groupon that would include souvenir tasting glasses, all the wine we could drink, music, cooking demonstrations, and various other festival-like activities.

Alas, my procrastinating husband has put off yet another school project to the last possible minute.  That means he now has only 2 days to start and finish a project that a good portion of his grade depends on.  Not to mention, he should have already registered for Summer classes but has yet to figure out what classes he should take, what time they are offered, and when and where he needs to go to take the placement test required for math.  Oh – and he also needs to LEARN math so he can pass said test.  Those things combined with new anti-depression medication that doesn’t encourage drinking and the prospect of a rainy weekend has killed my chances of going to the wine festival.  I hope my sister and her boyfriend enjoy it.  Here is what I plan to do now – As little as humanly possible.

I probably should be at least a little upset.  I am frustrated by my husband’s lack of responsibility and general motivation.  But I am learning to let that go.  It is possible that I could be co-dependant and I have definitely been an enabler in the past.  I am trying to move past those things and let him fall on his face or succeed completely on his own, even if that means he ends up with a 70-something.  It sucks.  I don’t like to see others struggling while I sit back and watch with the ability to help them.  It seems cruel.  I also have very high standards and hate it when someone doesn’t live up to their potential.  But apparently that is my co-dependance talking (I’m still not sure how much I buy into that whole thing).  I will go into all that later (probably), but right now I think I’m going to start my weekend early by giving my brain a break from deep thinking.

So, to recap – My husband will spend the weekend basically chained to his computer and a math book.  Meanwhile, I will be perfectly content with the couch, a blanket, and a few good books.  In fact, as an introvert, that sounds like an absolutely perfect weekend to me.

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