When I first created this blog I wanted it to be 100% anonymous and private. I was more than a bit embarrassed by what I was dealing with, and I wanted to keep most of the people who knew me out of it. Marital problems, sex issues, and all of my deepest thoughts and fears and desires seemed like things I could only share with strangers – the occasional people who were dealing with the same issues and found me with a Google or WordPress search. This was my dark little corner of the world to release my inner demons.
As I grew more confident and secure in myself, I started sharing little pieces of this story with people I love. First my Mom, then others in my family. I made a friend online in an infidelity forum who became a fantastic “real-life” friend (I consider everyone on here a real friend, whether I have met them in person or not, hence the quotes) and an invaluable lifeline. I got counseling, joined a group of women dealing with some of the same things, and slowly started realizing that the more I shared and reached out to others, the stronger I got. It’s funny how letting a little light into this dark corner made things so much easier to process and overcome.
The last step in that was the decision to make this blog a little less private. I include the link on my personal Facebook page, although I don’t really broadcast my posts there. I also have pictures of myself scattered throughout the blog. I’m done hiding from the world, especially the people who care about me. So – my name is Stephanie, I’m 28, and I live just outside of Richmond, Virginia in a little place called Mechanicsville. But you already know that…
If you came here from my Facebook page or because I gave you the information, welcome to my inner life. There are very personal posts on this blog. I talk about sensitive subjects, share things about myself, and my ex-husband that you probably never knew. I may even post some sexually explicit stuff, although I’ll be sure to provide a disclaimer first. I apologize if any of it makes you uncomfortable. If so, feel free to stop reading. No one is obligated to read my story, and I would encourage you not to if the topics are too sensitive or touchy for you. I never want anyone to feel like they’re at a Tupperware party, forced into purchasing something they never wanted in the first place just to be polite. I’m brutally honest on here, and you’re welcome to be the same with me. Or just to pretend this doesn’t exist. Seriously, whatever you want.
If you start reading this and decide you want to follow along, feel free to. If you see me on the street or at a party or a family gathering, don’t feel weird. If you want to comment on what you’ve read here, do. If you’d rather not, then don’t. I share this for me and for the people who have contacted me along the way saying that they can relate. I write to process my feelings, get a bird’s-eye view of my life, and open myself up to everything that the world has to offer. I no longer feel embarrassed or ashamed of what I’ve been through. In fact, I think it is making me a better person. I’m committing to be as open in my personal life as I am on here. I don’t always succeed, but I wouldn’t mind an opportunity to practice. 🙂