How Things Change in a Year

A year ago today, on April 9th, 2012, I wrote my first blog post.  It wasn’t especially great. However, it was the first step in a life-altering process.

This last year has brought more change and growth than I ever could have anticipated.  In the past 365 days I have shared my hopes, fears, and dreams on my blog.  I have gone through low lows and high highs. I have cried and laughed. I have felt trapped and freer than ever before.

A year ago today I was confused, hurting, and feeling very betrayed. I decided to start a blog with the intent of getting the words out of my head. I never thought anyone would read it. I certainly had no idea of the community I would find and the friends I would make.

When I started this blog I was one year past DDay. I was still feeling lost and angry. I was discovering lies and struggling with his mood swings and lack of motivation. He said what I wanted to hear, then did the exact opposite. He would rage and then “love bomb” me (another term I learned from Paula). I felt crazy.

Today I am less than a week from starting the divorce process. I feel strong and confident. I’m halfway through my first MBA class, and I currently have a 100% average. I drove around today in my car with the windows open, my arm out the window and the radio blaring. I had nowhere to go and nothing to do besides sing at the top of my lungs and enjoy the 92(!) degree weather.

This last year has been hard and wonderful and full of insights. Thanks for your part in that! Here’s hoping the next year is even better. Cheers!

Money Mash Up & Enjoying Myself

photo credit ~ Artwork by Ame Hughes, Intuitive Artist

This morning I am participating in Money Mash Up 1/14, hosted by simply stacia.  Thanks for the interesting questions.  Money is one area that I will have a few changes to this year, so I’m glad for the opportunity to think about it a bit.

1.  The most money I’ve spent last week was for bills.  I get paid twice per month, and last week was my first payday.  I paid all of my bills except my mortgage with that check.  That means I paid sewer, water, electricity, internet, TV, credit cards, my new car payment (the most expensive of the bunch), car insurance, trash pickup, and dog food.  Oh, you meant not bill-related?  In that case, I spent $4.49 for an ebook on my Kindle Saturday night.

2.  A low-cost or free thing I did this past week was went to lunch with my Mom and sister at Panera.  My Mom picked up the bill (how sweet of her), but even if she hadn’t the meal was cheap, delicious, and healthy.  Better was the company.  It was great to spend time with them both, have a nice chat in the middle of the day, and get a break from work.  It was the only lunch I ate out last week, although I had the urge a few times.  I’m glad that I waited to indulge myself when I had the company of two amazing women. 

3.  The one thing I did for another was took my sister up to my job on Saturday to pick up a battery for her boyfriend’s car.  I was able to get it basically at cost and save him quite a bit of money.

4.  Something I really need to accomplish this week is relax and enjoy my birthday!  Today I have a ton of stuff to get accomplished at work and at home, but starting tomorrow I am going to focus on just having fun and living my life. 

5.  I’m dying to try _____ this year.  Hmmmm…  This is a great question.  I’m dying to try putting myself first.  I’ve never done that before.  I know that isn’t a particular “experience,” but I am going to be my own priority this year.  I’m going to laugh, love, live, and stop second-guessing myself.  It already sounds wonderful!

Thanks again Stacia for coming up with these questions and posting the challenge every week.  It’s a good reminder of what’s important.

If you know me…

Today I created a new page for folks who have found this blog through my Facebook page or some other means, and know me personally.  The page is here.

Today I reached 200 followers.  I am humbled and honored to be part of your world.  Although most of you who follow my blog don’t know me “in real life,” I feel like I know some of you very, very well.  I thought I would make a little mini post so that everyone is aware of the (slight) change.  And yes – my name is Stephanie.  I no longer want to be known as Mrs. Mess!

Like My New Facebook Page

I’ve decided not to separate my blog life and my “real life” anymore.  So I have also decided not to have separate Facebook accounts.  Instead, I have just set up a blog page that is connected to my personal account.  Why not?  I’ve got nothing to hide or be ashamed about, and if my family doesn’t want to know something I put on here they can skip that post.  🙂

So “Like” me.  My page is http://www.facebook.com/beingabeautifulmesss.

It’s August Already?!

I interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a big “What the hell?!?!”  I can hardly believe that it is already August.  It feels like this year just started.  Now summer is almost over?  We got a “fall sale” flyer at work today, and it says the promotion lasts from August 1st through 17th.  Who the hell told them that August is in the fall?

That also means I am now entering my 5th month of blogging.  Wow!  It doesn’t seem like I’ve been blogging for that long.  On the other hand, I have written quite a lot so far.  Additionally, in just 5 months I have made so many connections and at least one lifelong friend.  I have rediscovered how writing my thoughts down can really change the way I feel – usually for the better.  I have also realized my desire to be a better person.  To live life to it’s fullest.  And to push past my fears to discover what is waiting on the other side.

So here’s to progress!

And here’s a fun little song that I couldn’t get out of my head all last night:

If you’ve ever seen Rent, then you know that Maureen and Joann get back together.  They realize that their love is worth it, and they can make it work with a little compromise.  I am soooo a Joann!  🙂  Mr. Mess is pretty similar to Maureen – with his extroverted, attention-seeking personality.  I can certainly understand how frustrating it can be sometimes being with someone so different from you (see my post Being Complete Opposites).  It is also rewarding, though.  This song reminds me that there are some things that are an inherent part of my personality, but many other things that can be adjusted or changed.  I’m worth it and so is my marriage.

On a side note, this video gets me all hot and bothered.  They are so smoking hot, and they have very obvious sexual chemistry, even while fighting!  I also adore both of the women in real life.  Idina Menzel is just a.m.a.z.i.n.g.!!!!  She was also in the original cast of Wicked, my all-time favorite musical, playing Elphaba, my all-time favorite character!  That she is married to Taye Diggs (who she met as part of the original case of Rent), is extra yummy, especially if you have ever heard them sing together.  Tracie Thoms is so elegant and poised.  I also loved her in Cold Case.  If you have never seen Rent (the musical or the movie), I would highly, highly recommend it!

Until next time.

Related articles

• The August Break: an introduction (shineyhappyus.wordpress.com)
• Blogging : A Fun and Rewarding Hobby! (teenrebelle.wordpress.com)
• August: When Dreams Come True (toughandtiny.wordpress.com)
• Idina Menzel continues to defy gravity (hooplanow.com)
• Taye Diggs Joins Gay Marriage Group NOH8 Campaign (ontopmag.com)