Many Thanks (I’m a Fabulous Gutter Blogger)

I really want to say thank you to those of you that have offered me support and positive comments recently.  I have also gotten a few wonderful, flattering awards.  I might have missed one with my scatterbrain, so if I did I apologize in advance.

I received the Liebster Award from the wonderful our24yeargap.  She is juggling so many balls in her life, and doing it all under an incredible amount of pressure.  I am honored that she nominated me for this award, and I definitely want to apologize for being such a procrastinator that I have only gotten around to posting it until over a month after she gave it to me.  I’m bad (more details later)!  🙂

This award comes with rules and questions.  I am not going to follow the rules that well, but I will answer the questions that she took the time to think up for me.

Rules (for those of you that actually follow the rules):

• When one receives the award, one posts 11 random facts about oneself and answers the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
• Pass the award onto 11 other blogs (while making sure one notifies the blogger that one nominated them!)
• One writes up 11 NEW questions directed towards YOUR nominees.
• One is not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated one’s own blog!
• One pastes the award picture into ones blog. (You can google the image, there are plenty of them!)

Okay, so I’m not really going to do much of that.  Here is my take on those rules, in order:

• If you want to know some random stuff about me, look to the right and select the sub-category Silly Questions under Random Thoughts.
• Anyone who reads my blog and wants to follow those rules and answer some questions, consider yourself nominated.  I love everything that each one of you writes, and I just can’t pick favorites.
• Nope.  I like the questions that our24yeargap proposed.  Answer those.  🙂
• That’s a stupid rule.  Since I’m using her questions, though, she’s probably glad not to have to do this all again.
• Done

Now, to answer her questions:

1. Why did you start blogging?  To get the crazy thoughts out of my head and makes sense out of being married to a pathologically lying sex addict.
2. Are you where you want to be in life?  I’m closer than I ever have been before to my true goal – happiness.  At the same time, I’m farther away from the “vision” I had in my head of where that happiness would come from and what it would look like.  Surprisingly, letting go of “where I want to be in life” has taken me to a place where I am feeling content, fulfilled, optimistic, happy, and successful.  Go figure.
3. What is your favorite thing about life?  Sharing it with wonderful people.  Specifically, my family and the ones that I love.  Also singing.
4. Do you have an animal you love and that loves you unconditionally?  Absolutely.  My dog Buddy is the sweetest, best, most fantastic animal in the world.  I love him sooo much.
5. What is/are your favorite book(s)?  There are so many fantastic books out there.  I have a room filled with them.  Books take you on adventures, introduce you to new worlds, show you wonders, teach you things, transport you to wherever you want to be, and so, so much more.  Some of my favorite books include Black Beauty, The Cay, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, My Sister’s Keeper, Wicked, The Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, Are You My Mother? (I had to throw that one in – such a cute book!), anything written by James Patterson, The Time Traveler’s Wife, and the list just keeps going all day long.  I also want to note that any book that was turned into a movie on the list above I read BEFORE the movie came out.  And, like you’ve probably heard a million times, the book is always better than the movie!!!
6. Can you recommend a book I should read or a movie I should watch?  Any of the books/movies listed above that you haven’t.  Also, everyone on Earth has probably seen these, but I really love Taken, Fried Green Tomatoes, Gran Torino,
7. Do you know any firefighters/paramedics/EMTs out there? Other than myself of course. What’s their story?  A few of my high school friends are volunteer firefighters/ EMTs.  I don’t know their “story” per say, but I do know that they are all dedicated, great people.
8. Describe yourself to me in 3 words. Would your friends agree with that?  Complicated.  Smart.  Strong.  And yes, my friends would agree.
9. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?  A singer or a lawyer.
10. What is your favorite time of the year?  Christmas!  And Fall when the leaves start changing and the air has that wonderful crispness even though the days are still beautiful.
11. Tell me a secret, one you have never told anyone.  I don’t really think I have any secrets that I’ve never told anyone.  I’m a pretty open book to the people that I care about the deepest.

The next award I received is a brand new one from the very sexy, honest, and amazing work spouse story.  She and one other blogger have created a new award to celebrate “gutter bloggers” – their term for those of us who pour our hearts out and air our dirty laundry over the internet by sharing our relationship and sexual experiences.  You can read up about the award and the term here.

I was beyond excited to learn about that term, this new award, and floored to be in the first round of nominations.  Little ol’ me?  Really?!  🙂  I didn’t realize that my corner of the blogosphere was that interesting, especially as compared to some of the other bloggers who were nominated.  I also thought I might have been a bit too reserved on here.  Then I thought – fuck it!  If India thinks I deserve it and she created the award, then I deserve it!  🙂  If only she knew how very, very appropriate it really is (message me later girl if you want the juicy details ;)).

So, here’s how things go with this award:

Fabulous Gutter Blogger Award Rules of Acceptance

1. Thank the person who nominated you. (Written thanks, kisses, oral sex, all of the above – whatever seems appropriate.)  Hmmm…  I like some of those suggestions.  How naughty of you!
2. Link back to their blog in your post.  Done.
3. Post the image of the Award on your blog.  Gladly!
4. Copy and answer the six questions from their blog post.  See below.
5. Nominate nine bloggers, link to them and let them know they’ve been nominated.  This part is time consuming, so I will probably do the linking and such in the morning.  I will come back and edit this to do it right.  This is one award worth special consideration. 

The fun bit: Questions!

1. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?  Kinky is so relative.  Something that I consider normal may be very kinky to another person, and vice versa.  Some of the things on my “kinky list” include: being in a same-sex relationship, being blindfolded, spanked, and I’ll stop there although there is more in consideration of some of my readers.
2. What do you now know about sex that you wish you’d have known earlier in life?  Sex can be fantastic and fun and exciting and liberating and amazing if you have a partner who is connected with you, cares about you, and is honest and vulnerable.  Apparently that happens in real life to real people, not just in movies or stories.  Not so much if you’re with a sex addict.  Then it’s weird, repressed, fast (at least with my ex), infrequent, and full of secrecy selfishness (on his part) and dissatisfaction (on my part).  At least now I know what bad sex is like…
3. Is there any gutter fantasy you’d like to try?(tell us what it is)  I’m not sure what a “gutter fantasy” is…  Maybe I need that urban dictionary again.  I’m guessing it is a sexual fantasy that you have heard about/ read from a fellow gutter blogger (that last part may or may not be a requirement…?).  In that case, I can say that I am more than intrigued by BDSM play the way India described it in her post – the “unplugged version.”  That is a neat term.  All the talk of silk scarves, leather, mind/body play, and no hesitation is very hot.
4. What’s the funniest bedroom situation you’ve ever been in?  Funniest?  That takes a little bit of thought.  I think that sex should be fun and involve laughter and humor and looking like an idiot sometimes with each other.  I just can’t think of a particular time like that right now.  I have very limited sexual partners to pull from (very limited).  Right now the humor of my two long-term relationships is completely eluding me.  I was just at a Christmas party where someone joked about using their blinking Rudolph nose as a ball gag.  That was pretty funny.  It was also at a work function, not the bedroom, and I was not involved in any way – so I don’t think that meets the requirements.  I’ll get back to you when I have some funny (haha) not funny (pathetic and sad) bedroom situations to report.
5. Has gutter blogging taught you anything?  Gutter blogging has taught me everything.  It has taught me how to live.  It has taught me how to express myself.  It has taught me what I deserve.  It has taught me freedom and self-expression and how wonderful and supportive strangers can be.  This blog, this community, this creative process has been a lifeline.  It has kept me sane.  It has brought me to deep revelations about myself, my relationships, the direction of my life, my expectations, and so much more.  I’ve also found an outlet for expressing my sexuality in a positive, open way.  It’s fantastic!
6. What is your favourite post from the person who nominated you?  I love the post Something like a spiritual connection.  I know that the situation didn’t pan out, things are very different now, and all of that.  However, in the spirit of this award especially, I found it incredibly sensual, very hot, and a bit of a tease (and who doesn’t love a good tease?).

And there you have it.  Now it’s really late, and I need to get to bed so I can go to work tomorrow and be half-way useful.

Related articles

• It’s here! It’s arrived! The One, The Only, Fabulous Gutter Blogger Award! (workspousestory.wordpress.com)

Not Only Do I Have An Addictive Personality, I Also Have An Addictive Blog!

Wow…  Where did this week go?  Here is it Friday, and I’ve barely had a chance to talk to you guys this week.  I know that no one is waiting with bated breath for the words that come out of my fingertips.  🙂  Still, I like to blog because writing is such a cathartic thing for me.  I also like to think that my story and experiences help some, or at least are interesting and slightly entertaining.

I don’t know about the first part, but I did get confirmation this week that my blog is addictive.  Whether I’m addictive like Lay’s (you can’t eat just one) or like cocaine, I’m not really sure.  Neither are particularly good for you, but at least the former just gives you greasy fingers and a little padding on your hips.

Seriously, though, two wonderful and talented women nominated me for an award this week.  Being Her, (the other woman)… nominated me here, and our24yeargap nominated me here.

Now for the Rules:

Thank the person awarding you.  Share a little about why you blog and how the journey started. Paste the blog award on your page. Nominate 10 other bloggers you feel deserve the award.

I don’t have to be told to thank the two ladies who nominated me because they are truly fantastic.  I never imagined that I would feel such kinship, empathy, and connection to “the other woman,” but Being Her has bared her soul and shared her unique situation in a way that made those things possible.  Addiction has also touched her life in a very real, very devastating way, and I appreciate that she has given me a window into her world.  I found our24yeargap because we share the bond of loving older men.  She has since won my heart with her raw, honest commentary on life and the beautiful photographs that she takes.  I only hope that those close to her in “real life” can begin to acknowledge and recognize her talents and beauty, inside and out.

As for why I blog and where my journey started, I share a lot of that on my What Brought Me Here page.  Here’s the longer, brutally honest version.  I didn’t enter this blogging world intending to start a blog of my own.  On the contrary, I never understood blogging.  I know I made more than one negative joke about how everyone in the world seems thinks they have something that the rest of us care to read about – NOT!  I despised everything about blogging, especially the stupid name…  Who came up with that anyway?  And why exactly did it stick?

Then a friend shared a few links to his blog on Facebook.  I checked it out – mostly to support him, but also because I did think he had something to say that was worth reading.  I soon discovered other bloggers that commented on his posts, and realized some of their stuff was pretty interesting.  Then I read a post about infidelity that evoked very strong emotions in me.  For the first time ever, I responded to a blog other than my friend’s.  In fact, I wrote so much and got such a positive response that I realized I had something to say on the topic.  My blog was born.

Since then, my blog has morphed from a commentary on infidelity to one that touches on sex addiction, marital recovery, S-Anon, Retrouvaille, pornography, and even completely unrelated subjects like food, travel, and zombies.  What this blog has become for me is a place where I can bare my soul and talk about whatever passion or topic is currently on my mind.  It has become my refuge, my sounding board, a place where I have met great friends, continue to grow and change, and publish insights as I uncover them.  These are the chronicles of a mixed-up woman with an addictive personality, a sex addict husband, a half-blind dog, and a wonderful support system making her way through marriage recovery, infidelity, codependence, love, hurt, joy, pain, and good food one day at a time.  Thanks for coming along for the ride!

Now for 10 other wonderful bloggers that I have become addicted to (in no particular order):

1. IM IN LOVE WITH A SERIAL CHEATER
2. theothersideofinfidelity
3. Repairing Shattered Pieces
4. persuaded2go
5. Castimonia
6. Teatart
7. livinginsidethetornado
8. Our Journey After His Affair
9. bRaving Bipolar
10. The Significant Other of a Fuck (Sex) Addict

I hope that everyone has a lovely weekend.  Thanks again to everyone who reads what I type – I appreciate all of my followers and fellow bloggers more than you know!

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Milestone: 100 Followers!!!

I had a different topic in my mind for today, but then I logged into WordPress and saw this.  I now have 100 followers!  I could jump up and down like a little kid right now.  I know that sounds petty and childish, but I am extremely excited.  I have been inching closer to 100 followers every day and trying not to pay attention.  The truth is, I can hardly believe that 100 people enjoy my writing enough to sign up to follow me.  Little ol’ me?!

The excitement is not quite as shallow and selfish as it probably seems at this moment.  I know 100 followers is probably measly to some people out there with thousands or even (gulp!) millions of followers.  I don’t think I will ever get there, and honestly, I don’t really want to.  That number, 100, is ideal: it is comfy, but also varied.  I get to know each and every one of you in some way.  The individuals that make up my 100 followers are so diverse, open, and amazing that I don’t know how it could get any better.  Even if I never get one more follower, I think I will be content.

The number 100 means a lot to me in so many different ways.  For one thing, I am a sucker for milestones.  I am the sappy chick who remembers every important date, writes long, heartfelt letters to people on special occasions, catalogs mementos from tender moments, meaningful cards, small notes, and great papers in a shoebox (multiple ones, actually), and celebrates every birthday that anyone close to me has like it’s the most important one ever or their last (and who knows, it could be).  This is one of those special little moments that I want to hold onto in my head and heart.

Seeing my blog achieve 100 followers seemed like an impossibility when I started.  I was actually shocked when I received my first one.  Now my followers have grown, and with each one I gain a little nugget of wisdom.  Each and every one of my 100 followers has also touched my heart in some way.  Some reached out to me with a comment, supportive or challenging.  Some have given me encouragement through a simple “Like.”  Others have poured out their own souls and laid things bare in their blogs that have profoundly changed me.  All of you open up your heart to me – someone you don’t know at all except through the words I write.  It is actually making me tear up right now (I told you I’m sappy).  You have all given me support, advice, confidence, strength and affirmation.  I found a community, a support system, and sometimes a lifeline through my blogging.  It is something I could never have imagined.

I wish that I had the time and space to thank all 100 of you individually.  There really is something I could say about each and every one of you – a post that was very meaningful to me, a comment that changed my day, a perfectly timed “Like” that brought the first smile of the day to my face, and so, so much wisdom.

That 100 is also a validation.  My entire life has been spent striving for excellence, pushing for that 100%.  I was never happy, even when I did achieve a score of 100 because there was always the next test, the next hurdle, the next way that I had to “prove” myself.  The woman writing this post is not the same woman who started this blog in April.  That woman didn’t know how to put herself first.  That woman was consumed by fear.  That woman was insecure, questioned her self-worth, felt hopeless, and overwhelmed – like the whole world was swallowing her up and there was nothing she could do to stop it.  That woman also lacked a lot of self-awareness that has developed since then.  She didn’t know that she couldn’t fix her husband’s sex addiction.  She didn’t know that she was enough.  She didn’t know that she was codependent and needed to change some things about herself in order to find serenity.  That woman would still be exactly the same if it weren’t for this blog and especially you, my followers.

I wish that I had the time and space to thank all of you individually.  I really do have something I could say about each and every one of you, even my newest follower – ditchthemarriage over at Young and Divorced.  I have been devouring your blog all day.  I love your positive outlook and the way you are taking a bad situation and turning around into something so empowering!  I, too, am “fumbling back toward fabulous one day at a time.”  I’m not there yet, but I am so much closer than I was when I started.

There are also some of you that are so special to me that I have to give at least a little shout-out.  Ben at My Ideal Woman is the first person who showed me that blogging could be a fun and rewarding experience.  I started reading his blog several months ago, was impressed, started commenting and checking out other bloggers, and finally decided to share my experience and add my voice and unique perspective to this blogging world called WordPress.  Another blogger who inspires me and who I have become very close to is Samantha Baker at Repairing Shattered Pieces.  She and I have met up – the one and only person I have ever met from the internet.  Thankfully, Samantha is not a crazy ax murderer.  She and I have shared a bottle of wine, chatted over dinner, tried to attend an S-Anon meeting together, and, most of all, supported each other through the ups and downs of life.  Her blog is raw and real, and she helps to remind me that it is okay to let my feeling side out sometimes.  Other blogs that I am constantly captivated by include Persuaded2Go for her spectacular introspection and bold writing, Eat My Scabs which is so well-written and fabulous that it makes me jealous, bRaving Bipolar for her searching, honest account of living with bipolar disorder, and so many other people who have welcomed me into their world.  Thank you all – every single one of my 100 followers!

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Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Yesterday morning I logged into my computer to find a flattering surprise and a not-so-great one.  I think I will start with the good news first.  I was nominated for awarded the Very Inspiring Blogger Award from the wonderful Bold Kevin over at Voices of Glass.  His blog is very inspirational, and he received two well-deserved nominations for this award.  I am beyond flattered that he would feel inspired from me after all he has come through.  It is hard for me to grasp that anyone could be inspired by me.  It is a humbling experience that makes me feel very grateful.

Here are the Award Rules…

1. Display the award logo somewhere on the blog.  – √ Done
2. Link back to the blog of the person who nominated you. – √ Done
3. State 7 things about yourself. – √ See Below
4. Nominate (They aren’t nominations they are actual awards) So give 15 other bloggers this award and provide links to their blogs.
5. Notify those bloggers that they have been nominated given this award and of the award’s requirements.

7 Things About Me… (that I haven’t already told you at some point)

1. I have an entire room stuffed from floor to ceiling with books.  That is where I am right now.  I have so many books that my book shelves are double stacked.  I consistently donate hundreds of books per year, yet the number of books I own never seems to decrease.  I think the key to this actually happening would be to stop buying more, but I just can’t seem to make that happen.
2. I love crab rangoons.  They are delicious.  I could eat nothing but those at a Chinese restaurant.  Now I’m just torturing myself…
3. I bite my nails.  It was a terrible habit that I had as a kid.  My nails were always chewed to the quick.  As an adult I have gotten a lot better at this, and often even have fingernails that grow to a respectable length.  I am more likely to chew at a hangnail or ragged nail than grab the clippers, though.  For this reason I carry a nail kit (complete with clippers, nail file, and cuticle trimmers) in my purse at all times to help curb this urge.
4. I love fire.  I’m not quite a pyromaniac, although my father was as a child.  I often have several candles burning in my house, and really, really wish that I had a fireplace.  To compensate, I have both a fire pit and fire chimney outside on my patio.
5. I am obsessed with Crocs.  They are almost all that I wear now.  I have dressy ones, office ones, several pairs of flip flops, sandals, and even a winter pair.
6. I had a huge collection of model horses as a child.  I collected Breyer horses from a very young age through my teenage years.  I still have my collection up in my attic.
7. My husband says I have an adventurous spirit.  I find it hard to accept because I have always seen myself as more of a quiet homebody, curled up with a good book on a comfy chair all day.  I do want to go skydiving someday, and I want to travel the world so maybe he has a point.

I wish that I had the time today to nominate all of the fantastic people who deserve it.  Instead, for now, I will invite you to check out my Blogroll.  These are the bloggers who have touched me and whose blogs I subscribe to and run to check their posts when I get an email.  All of these bloggers have inspired me in various ways.

Now for the devastating news.  I found out that a good friend and fellow blogger is going through a really rough time right now.  My stomach dropped this morning when I saw what she was going through, and my heart is aching for her.  My tablet has been on the fritz this morning.  I think it has a virus or it has just decided to poop out.  I have been using my home computer, which is a desktop, in the meantime to stay connected and do my blogging.  I missed her email early this morning, and am keeping her and her family in my thoughts.

I hope that the rest of you out there are doing well and having a great weekend.  Much love!

Thank You!

I received a nice little nod from the wonderful Recover1Day over at Screw Infidelity.  She is such an honest, fascinating writer.  She delves into all aspects of infidelity, and she always provides links to great articles.  I love reading her blog, and you will too if you haven’t checked her out already.  She nominated me for two awards that she received, the Versatile Blogger and One Lovely Blog Award.  Thank you!

I have already received the Versatile Blogger award (yay!).  That means I get to skip over all of the rules, questions, long list of nominations, etc.  Why?  Because I say so.  Consider it a new rule.  🙂  I have never seen the One Lovely Blog Award, but I love it already!  The picture is so peaceful and wonderful, plus it’s pink!  Awesome!  I don’t have a lot of time this morning, but I will be stalking a few of my favorite blogs to pass this award along.  Have a great hump day!

Being an Award-Winner

Today I have been nominated for my first blogging award!  I can hardly believe it.  It was such a great surprise to find out that there are people out there who enjoy my writing.  That it’s the Versatile Blogger Award makes it even better!  I worry sometimes that my topic is too narrow to connect with people, but I try to put my heart out there and just talk about the things I am feeling and thinking.  It’s good to know that I have inspired at least one person.  Thanks so much!

The fabulous, honest, and witty A Dog With Fleas nominated me, and it really made my day.  I find myself on the edge of my seat following her journey and feeling all of the emotions she experiences along with her.  You really should check out her blog if you haven’t already.  You, too, will find yourself caught up.

I will have to quote something she said when she received her nomination, “This blog has taken me on a very special journey and I have and continue to learn a lot about myself in the process.  So it is wonderful and humbling that people read, enjoy and can follow me along on this journey of healing, love, hope and getting my life back together again.”  That statement is very true for me, too.  Reading other people’s journeys have also helped me along in my own, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

The rules of receiving this award are:

1. Add the award to your blog

2. Thank the blogger who gave it to you and include a link to their blog.

3. Mention 7 random things about yourself.

4. List the rules.

5. Give the award to 15 or more bloggers.

The Seven Random Things about me are:

1.  I have been trampled by a horse.  Oddly enough this came up today in conversation at work…  I’m still not even sure how.

2.  I skipped 4th grade.

3.  I used to work with someone who now has their own reality TV show – American Digger on Spike TV.  Check it out…

4.  I traveled to London in 10th grade with my choral group after we won a national competition.

5.  My credit score is over 800.

6.  I absolutely love Gummy Bears.  They have to be the right kind, though, and red and green are my favorite.

7.  I was asked to audition for the first season of The Voice, but ended up not going to my scheduled audition because I’m too much of a chicken…  It would have meant taking off work (or leaving if I made it far enough), taking a risk, and possibly failing.  Too scary.

And for the blogs that I look forward to reading the moment they pop in my Inbox…  The Award Goes To:

1.  My Ideal Woman – I know that he has already received this award once, but I had to put him at the top of my list.  This blogger gave me my first taste of blogging.  By following his posts, reading his writing, and beginning to explore the blogging community I found my voice.  “Being a Beautiful Mess” wouldn’t exist without him.  Not only that, but he helped me come up with my new name and direction, and he has encouraged me all along the way.  Thanks Ben!

2.  The “Me” Project (or Court’s B-L-O-G) –  This gal was also instrumental in the start of my blog.  I feel so selfish starting off with that, but let me explain.  Her writing is so sincere.  Her perspective is fresh.  She is honest.  She is bold.  I read one of her posts and was compelled to comment.  Next thing I know, I was pouring out my heart.  Her words did that.  And she is truly a versatile blogger.  I have found myself reading and commenting on a variety of topics that she has posted, and I always feel her passion.

3.  If Happy Ever After Did Exist – After finding her blog I started to really understand the power of reading the words of and connecting with another person who is going through something similar.  Sometimes I feel like she writes my thoughts.  Her posts are incredibly insightful and her strength has inspired me.  She reminds me that I am enough.  She certainly is more than enough.  She is an inspiration.

4.  Not Over It – The icon on her blog is a candle of hope.  Her blog represents that very well.  She is going through many difficult things, but she presses on and shares her emotions freely.  I connect with how real and raw she can be, and with her deep self-awareness.  She is also the consummate supporter.  She truly cares for the people that follow her blog and her replies reflect that.  Her sincerity and willingness to offer empathy even in the midst of her own pain is amazing.

5.  C’est la Vie – I recently found this blog and have been blown away.  I really enjoy her perspective.  Her writing is fresh, and she truly is versatile.  She is also a fellow procrastinating perfectionist, which must be a rare combination reserved only for the best minds.  Errrr…  maybe not?  I don’t know, but she certainly is one!

6.  Infinite Sadness… or what? – This blogger has a mission to talk about mental illnesses, get them out of the darkness, and help people really understand them.  She takes on that challenge every day with strength and courage that is quite inspirational.  She shares her own stories and relays things in a way that is completely understandable and really makes her point well.  She puts lots of love and energy into what she does, and it shows.

7.  The Important Bits – This is another one of the first blogs I ever followed.  In her own words, SadiePenn is “a wife and mom among many other things…but most of all I am a woman that has been wronged and I feel the need to write about it.”  She said that she wasn’t really setting out to help anyone except herself, but she did help me discover things about myself as I have been following her journey.

8.  Eat My Scabs – Her tag is “Sex Addiction; not as fun as it sounds.”  Boy is that true, however, her blog is fun to read.  She posts things that are moving, sometimes quirky, and always thought-provoking.  Her husband also serves as a guest-blogger sometimes, which has offered me incredible insight.  I just love her style.

9.  Persuaded2Go – This blogger has really opened my eyes.  She is amazingly honest, deliciously snarky, and very in touch with her emotions.  She had an affair, which means she is on the other side of the same mess I am wading through.  However, I rarely feel like there are “sides” when I’m reading her thoughts.  I see more and more how human we all are.  She opens my eyes to my own flaws and helps me remember that my husband isn’t some monster…  He is just someone who has made some mistakes and is working through them.  That is a hard thing to do, especially with guilt weighing you down.  Bravo!

10.  The Other Side of Infidelity – Speaking of “the other side,” this blogger is involved in an affair with a married man.  Why would I read that? – You might ask.  Because one of her posts grabbed my attention and drew me in.  She doesn’t claim to be perfect, and she is torn over the affair.  I can look beyond that, though, and see someone who has been hurt deeply and who is struggling to find who she is in the world.  I can relate to that even if I don’t agree with her actions.  It is sometimes painful to read about her encounters with him (especially since they are mostly via the internet and phone), but she is definitely a very good writer.

11.  Being Her (the other woman) – This is a blog from yet another person on the flip side of an affair.  She reminds me not to judge.  She helps me see the complicated emotions that she went through.  And she is working really hard to repair her marriage.  I admire and respect her greatly for that.

12. Our Journey After His Affair – Wendy found out that her husband was having an affair from the other woman.  Since that moment she has displayed so much poise and grace.  She is able to look at things from a really healthy point of view.  Sure, she has her rough moments.  But she is able to see her husband as a good person who made a bad mistake, not a bad person in general.  Her posts challenge me, make me think, and is helping me along in my quest to let go.  Thanks so much!

13.  A Year After the Affair – This blogger is in a similar time-frame me as far as recovery goes.  I love reading her story, hearing her thoughts, and realizing that I am not alone.  Her posts like “Coming Out of the Perfect Marriage Closet” echo the same sentiments I am struggling with.  She helps me feel not alone, and she makes me laugh even in the midst of everything.  Her ability to tell a story is impressive.

14.  Im In Love With A Serial Cheater – This is one tough ride to be on, and she has managed to keep her sanity.  I applaud her.  So many things that she writes about I can relate to.  She is also very much in love, which is inspirational.  It is a hard journey, but there are also reasons that we have chosen to stay.  She talks about the positives, the progress, the pitfalls, and the decisions she is making every day to try and make her relationship work.

15.  A Dog With Fleas – Last but certainly not least is the wonderful blogger who nominated me.  I have already talked about how great I think her blog is, so go read it already!

I highly recommend everyone on this list.  Please be sure to check out all of these fantastic blogs. You definitely will not be disappointed!!