Many Thanks (I’m a Fabulous Gutter Blogger)

I really want to say thank you to those of you that have offered me support and positive comments recently.  I have also gotten a few wonderful, flattering awards.  I might have missed one with my scatterbrain, so if I did I apologize in advance.

I received the Liebster Award from the wonderful our24yeargap.  She is juggling so many balls in her life, and doing it all under an incredible amount of pressure.  I am honored that she nominated me for this award, and I definitely want to apologize for being such a procrastinator that I have only gotten around to posting it until over a month after she gave it to me.  I’m bad (more details later)!  🙂

This award comes with rules and questions.  I am not going to follow the rules that well, but I will answer the questions that she took the time to think up for me.

Rules (for those of you that actually follow the rules):

• When one receives the award, one posts 11 random facts about oneself and answers the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.
• Pass the award onto 11 other blogs (while making sure one notifies the blogger that one nominated them!)
• One writes up 11 NEW questions directed towards YOUR nominees.
• One is not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated one’s own blog!
• One pastes the award picture into ones blog. (You can google the image, there are plenty of them!)

Okay, so I’m not really going to do much of that.  Here is my take on those rules, in order:

• If you want to know some random stuff about me, look to the right and select the sub-category Silly Questions under Random Thoughts.
• Anyone who reads my blog and wants to follow those rules and answer some questions, consider yourself nominated.  I love everything that each one of you writes, and I just can’t pick favorites.
• Nope.  I like the questions that our24yeargap proposed.  Answer those.  🙂
• That’s a stupid rule.  Since I’m using her questions, though, she’s probably glad not to have to do this all again.
• Done

Now, to answer her questions:

1. Why did you start blogging?  To get the crazy thoughts out of my head and makes sense out of being married to a pathologically lying sex addict.
2. Are you where you want to be in life?  I’m closer than I ever have been before to my true goal – happiness.  At the same time, I’m farther away from the “vision” I had in my head of where that happiness would come from and what it would look like.  Surprisingly, letting go of “where I want to be in life” has taken me to a place where I am feeling content, fulfilled, optimistic, happy, and successful.  Go figure.
3. What is your favorite thing about life?  Sharing it with wonderful people.  Specifically, my family and the ones that I love.  Also singing.
4. Do you have an animal you love and that loves you unconditionally?  Absolutely.  My dog Buddy is the sweetest, best, most fantastic animal in the world.  I love him sooo much.
5. What is/are your favorite book(s)?  There are so many fantastic books out there.  I have a room filled with them.  Books take you on adventures, introduce you to new worlds, show you wonders, teach you things, transport you to wherever you want to be, and so, so much more.  Some of my favorite books include Black Beauty, The Cay, Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, My Sister’s Keeper, Wicked, The Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, Are You My Mother? (I had to throw that one in – such a cute book!), anything written by James Patterson, The Time Traveler’s Wife, and the list just keeps going all day long.  I also want to note that any book that was turned into a movie on the list above I read BEFORE the movie came out.  And, like you’ve probably heard a million times, the book is always better than the movie!!!
6. Can you recommend a book I should read or a movie I should watch?  Any of the books/movies listed above that you haven’t.  Also, everyone on Earth has probably seen these, but I really love Taken, Fried Green Tomatoes, Gran Torino,
7. Do you know any firefighters/paramedics/EMTs out there? Other than myself of course. What’s their story?  A few of my high school friends are volunteer firefighters/ EMTs.  I don’t know their “story” per say, but I do know that they are all dedicated, great people.
8. Describe yourself to me in 3 words. Would your friends agree with that?  Complicated.  Smart.  Strong.  And yes, my friends would agree.
9. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?  A singer or a lawyer.
10. What is your favorite time of the year?  Christmas!  And Fall when the leaves start changing and the air has that wonderful crispness even though the days are still beautiful.
11. Tell me a secret, one you have never told anyone.  I don’t really think I have any secrets that I’ve never told anyone.  I’m a pretty open book to the people that I care about the deepest.

The next award I received is a brand new one from the very sexy, honest, and amazing work spouse story.  She and one other blogger have created a new award to celebrate “gutter bloggers” – their term for those of us who pour our hearts out and air our dirty laundry over the internet by sharing our relationship and sexual experiences.  You can read up about the award and the term here.

I was beyond excited to learn about that term, this new award, and floored to be in the first round of nominations.  Little ol’ me?  Really?!  🙂  I didn’t realize that my corner of the blogosphere was that interesting, especially as compared to some of the other bloggers who were nominated.  I also thought I might have been a bit too reserved on here.  Then I thought – fuck it!  If India thinks I deserve it and she created the award, then I deserve it!  🙂  If only she knew how very, very appropriate it really is (message me later girl if you want the juicy details ;)).

So, here’s how things go with this award:

Fabulous Gutter Blogger Award Rules of Acceptance

1. Thank the person who nominated you. (Written thanks, kisses, oral sex, all of the above – whatever seems appropriate.)  Hmmm…  I like some of those suggestions.  How naughty of you!
2. Link back to their blog in your post.  Done.
3. Post the image of the Award on your blog.  Gladly!
4. Copy and answer the six questions from their blog post.  See below.
5. Nominate nine bloggers, link to them and let them know they’ve been nominated.  This part is time consuming, so I will probably do the linking and such in the morning.  I will come back and edit this to do it right.  This is one award worth special consideration. 

The fun bit: Questions!

1. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?  Kinky is so relative.  Something that I consider normal may be very kinky to another person, and vice versa.  Some of the things on my “kinky list” include: being in a same-sex relationship, being blindfolded, spanked, and I’ll stop there although there is more in consideration of some of my readers.
2. What do you now know about sex that you wish you’d have known earlier in life?  Sex can be fantastic and fun and exciting and liberating and amazing if you have a partner who is connected with you, cares about you, and is honest and vulnerable.  Apparently that happens in real life to real people, not just in movies or stories.  Not so much if you’re with a sex addict.  Then it’s weird, repressed, fast (at least with my ex), infrequent, and full of secrecy selfishness (on his part) and dissatisfaction (on my part).  At least now I know what bad sex is like…
3. Is there any gutter fantasy you’d like to try?(tell us what it is)  I’m not sure what a “gutter fantasy” is…  Maybe I need that urban dictionary again.  I’m guessing it is a sexual fantasy that you have heard about/ read from a fellow gutter blogger (that last part may or may not be a requirement…?).  In that case, I can say that I am more than intrigued by BDSM play the way India described it in her post – the “unplugged version.”  That is a neat term.  All the talk of silk scarves, leather, mind/body play, and no hesitation is very hot.
4. What’s the funniest bedroom situation you’ve ever been in?  Funniest?  That takes a little bit of thought.  I think that sex should be fun and involve laughter and humor and looking like an idiot sometimes with each other.  I just can’t think of a particular time like that right now.  I have very limited sexual partners to pull from (very limited).  Right now the humor of my two long-term relationships is completely eluding me.  I was just at a Christmas party where someone joked about using their blinking Rudolph nose as a ball gag.  That was pretty funny.  It was also at a work function, not the bedroom, and I was not involved in any way – so I don’t think that meets the requirements.  I’ll get back to you when I have some funny (haha) not funny (pathetic and sad) bedroom situations to report.
5. Has gutter blogging taught you anything?  Gutter blogging has taught me everything.  It has taught me how to live.  It has taught me how to express myself.  It has taught me what I deserve.  It has taught me freedom and self-expression and how wonderful and supportive strangers can be.  This blog, this community, this creative process has been a lifeline.  It has kept me sane.  It has brought me to deep revelations about myself, my relationships, the direction of my life, my expectations, and so much more.  I’ve also found an outlet for expressing my sexuality in a positive, open way.  It’s fantastic!
6. What is your favourite post from the person who nominated you?  I love the post Something like a spiritual connection.  I know that the situation didn’t pan out, things are very different now, and all of that.  However, in the spirit of this award especially, I found it incredibly sensual, very hot, and a bit of a tease (and who doesn’t love a good tease?).

And there you have it.  Now it’s really late, and I need to get to bed so I can go to work tomorrow and be half-way useful.

Related articles

• It’s here! It’s arrived! The One, The Only, Fabulous Gutter Blogger Award! (workspousestory.wordpress.com)

Monday Stealing

There’s a lot going on in my head today while, simultaneously, there is nothing going on at all.  Confusing?  Yeah, it is for me, too.  I don’t really have any one particular thing I’m thinking about (not enough to make a coherent blog post, anyway), but I have too much going on to really focus.  Sooo….  I’ve decided to do a fun survey from Sunday Stealing – on a Monday, as was my previous tradition.

Before I start with that, I have a quick update on Buddy (my cocker spaniel).  He definitely has glaucoma.  We visited the ophthalmologist today, who said that his intraocular pressure (IOP) is still elevated.  Normal is about 10.  His was 70 on Thursday and 45 today.  He gave me two more drops to add to his regimen of medicine, and we have another appointment in a week to check everything out again.  Right now he has limited to no vision in his left eye and his optic nerve is damaged, although the doctor said it “isn’t the worst [he’s] ever seen.”  Most likely Buddy will have to get a shot in his left eye to stop fluid production, which will also cause him to lose all sight in his left eye.  Right now our focus is mostly going to be on saving the right eye, unless the next week produces some sort of a miracle.

Now for the silly stuff…

1.  How long have you been blogging?
I actually had to go to my blog and scroll down to the archives to answer this.  I have been blogging since April of this year, more specifically the 9th.  Although it has only been 4 months, sometimes it seems like this is something I should have been doing my entire life.  Blogging really clears my mind and helps me to understand my own thoughts.

2.  Did you go to college?
Yep.  I didn’t do the traditional college-right-after-High-School thing, though.  Lots of people thought I should, and I had grades and SAT scores that had lots and lots of colleges trying to recruit me.  Instead, I decided to travel (more on that below).  I made that decision partially for a really, REALLY dumb reason (teenage “love), but I’m actually glad now that I delayed things.  It allowed me to buy a house, get a fairly good job, and start establishing myself as an independent person.

When I was ready to go to college about 4 or 5 years after high school graduation I still got a full scholarship.  That was thanks in part to my grades and testing but mostly due to my writing and world experience (the scholarship was based largely on the answer to an entrance question about why you want to go to college).  My essay focused on being my own person, figuring out what I want for myself, and going against the grain.  It also talked about my travels and why I felt it was a good time to focus on academics.  Their gamble on me paid off, and I graduated Summa Cum Laude 3 1/2 years later with degrees in Criminal Justice and History.  Too bad I’m not actually using those degrees on a daily basis…  except for the critical thought aspect, which I find to be the most important part.

3.  Where have you traveled?
I traveled a bit with my family growing up because we always took at least one big family vacation.  The one that took me through the most states was a trip from Virginia to Oklahoma and back again, all driven in a large wood-paneled van with no air conditioning.  In August.  With my Mom, Dad, brother and sister.  The whole thing must have taken around 3 weeks.  We traveled through different states on the way there and back, stopping along the way at places like the Kentucky Horse Park where I marveled at Man o’ War‘s statue (on the way there), and the Gateway Archin St. Louis (on the way back).  We also took a car trip up to Maine, where I stayed for the summer with friends of the family.

In High School I got to travel quite a bit with my chorus group.  We went to Branson, MO and Disney (in Florida), but our biggest trip was to London.  That was amazing, and sparked my interest in Europe and history.  After high school I used money I had saved while working during High School to fund a trip all around Europe.  I traveled to 13 countries – England, Belgium, The Netherlands, Germany, Hungary, Austria, Romania, Bulgaria, Greece, Italy, Switzerland, Monaco, and France.  That was the trip of a lifetime, and I saw and learned more things than I could ever describe.  Unfortunately, I had a film camera back then, so I will have to get some of my photos and scan them in to make them digital so I can share them with everyone. I have also gone to the Bahamas, Cancun, Grand Cayman Island, and Haiti.  Unfortunately, I have yet to visit Canada.

4.  Which celebrity do you get mistaken for?
Rose from Two and a Half Men.  The actress is named Melanie Lynskey, but no one seems to know that.  I get mistaken for her quite a bit, actually.  I think she is very pretty and quite quirky on the show, which I like a lot, so I take it as a complement.  Also, Mr. Mess should be well-warned that I could have a little streak of crazy in me that might bring me to push a serial-cheating husband in front of a train.  😉

5.  What are your three biggest pet peeves?
 People who are late (so rude!), people who drive without their headlights on at night or in the rain (do you WANT to be hit?), and people with illogical opinions about… well… anything.

6.  What is your favorite movie?
Like potato chips, I can never choose just ONE favorite movie.  I have one for every mood.  Fried Green Tomatoes is probably the closest to my “one” movie.  It is perfect when I want to laugh, cry, or just enjoy a great story-line with wonderful acting.  There are so many fantastic lines.  My favorite of all time?

[Evelyn is cut off in a parking lot]
Evelyn Couch: Hey! I was waiting for that spot!
Girl #1: Face it, lady, we’re younger and faster!
[Evelyn rear-ends the other car six times]
Girl #1: What are you *doing*?
Girl #2: Are you *crazy*?
Evelyn Couch: Face it, girls, I’m older and I have more insurance.

I also love 28 Days Later if I’m in the mood for something scary or with zombies, 40-Year-Old Virgin or Hitch if I want to snort my beverage through my nose from laughing, House of Glass and Fog or Crash if I’m contemplative or need a good sob, and several others that I could watch again and again.

7.  What is your drink of choice; wine, beer, or liquor.  Or Water, Soda, Tea?
Water, water, and more water.  I drink almost 90 ounces of water most days.  I don’t really drink any soda, no tea, absolutely no coffee (gross), and very little alcohol.  I occasionally enjoy a glass of good, sweet white wine.

8. What is something you enjoy to do when you have me time?
Reading.  I rediscovered my love of reading this past weekend on my fishing trip.  Since then I have devoured about 5 books.  I also really enjoy sleeping in and watching Grey’s Anatomy.  I’m pretty boring when I’m doing “me time.”  Sometimes I might leave the house for a massage or pedicure, but relaxing me is almost always at home.

9. What is your biggest phobia?

I don’t really have anything that I would call a “phobia.”  I’m not too keen on the idea of burning to death, but I love fire.  Give me a good campfire and I can be mesmerized for hours, plus the smell of burning wood is one of my favorite scents of all time.  I suppose I’m just a study in contradictions.

10. Share with us an embarrassing moment of your past?
Tell me why I would want to do that….  Nothing really comes to mind immediately, but I do know my Dad used to embarrass me constantly.  He was always the one yelling at the top of his lungs at every softball game.  He also used to look around at the scenery so much while he was driving that we once got pulled by a cop on our way home from church because of how much he was swerving.  That is a funny memory now, but I was mortified back then.

11. What day would you love to relive again? Why?
That’s kinda hard.  There isn’t one particular day that stands out as the one day I would want to live again because it was so fantastic.  I guess I will have to pick a day that I made a mistake that I wish I could undo.  I am keeping the exact day and mistake to myself. 

12. If your life was turned into a movie… what actor would your best friend think should play you?
This is a strange one.  Who has ever had this conversation with a friend?  Also, what am I – a mind reader?

13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years?
File clerk, J.C. Penney associate, call center staff.

14. Show us a picture from high school or college.
I did just find this horribly grainy, teeny picture of me from a larger, scanned picture of our entire showchoir my freshman year of high school.  Take out your magnifying glass!

15. If you could travel anywhere in the world, all expenses paid, where would you go?
On a trip around the world, duh!   Why limit yourself to one location when you can pick everywhere?

16. Where do you see your life 6 and 1/2 years from now?

That is a really random number of years from now…  Let’s see…  I will be one month past my 34th birthday.  I hope that I am happy, healthy, and in a fulfilling marriage with a recovering sex addict who is 8 years sober.  I also hope that I have finally gotten a chance to see Canada!

17. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be and why?

I don’t want to stay one age forever.  I look forward to growing old, changing, maturing, and experiencing every part of life.

18. What 5 songs are included on the soundtrack to your life? (You can pick “Middle School”, “High School”, “College”, “Post College” or any format you like.)
I know I have at least 5 songs on my blog thus far.  Click the “Music” category to the right and pick a few.  They are all there because they are part of my life.

19. Romney picked Paul Ryan to run as his veep. Any thoughts?
I can’t wait until this election is over so people will finally talk about something else!

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Using My Imagination

Here’s another set of odd and random questions from the folks over at Sunday Stealing.  I haven’t done one of these in a while, and don’t have a lot of time for a full-fledged post.  So here are the answers to a few strange and silly questions.

1. Ocean or pool?
Pool without a doubt.  The ocean is so salty.  And cold.  And filled with fish and poop and sharks.  Plus, I always end up with sand in my bathing suit and that is virtually impossible to wash off with just one shower.

2. Fridays or Ruby Tuesdays?
Ruby Tuesdays because of their salad bar.  I love salad bars.  No one can make me a salad quite like I can do for myself.

3. Did you want to go to college?
I always wanted to go to college eventually.  I’m pretty glad that I decided to delay it for a few years to travel around and get myself settled and independent.

4. What did you do the last time you were at a mall?
Went shopping…  What else is there to do?  I hit up the Yankee Candle semi-annual sale and got some great deal!

5. Do you believe in aliens?
No.  Absolutely not.  Zombies I can fathom.  Aliens, not so much.  Waiting for proof on that one.  There are just too many factors that have to be exactly perfect in order for a planet to sustain life.  We haven’t found anything close to that in the light years and light years of space and galaxy after galaxy that we have documented.

6. Why do you like the music you do?
Because it’s good.  Duh.

7. Do you read much?
All of the time.  I do need to find some more time for myself to just relax and enjoy a good read again.  I’m waiting on a few books to arrive via mail very soon.

8. Favorite country?
Hmmm…  That’s a tough one.  My favorite country that I’ve been to so far is tied between Switzerland and Austria.  They were so magnificent.  The beauty of the land, the history, the food, the people, the music, the entertainment…  All spectacular!

9. What is something you wish you were better at?
Flying.  I wish I was way better at flying.  I can never seem to get off of the ground no matter how hard I try.

10. What’s your favorite album/CD?
I don’t really have one “favorite.”  My favorites at the moment (a.k.a. the ones that I play over and over in my car) include Adele(especially Someone Like You and Rolling in the Deep), Katy Perry (especially Firework and Part of Me), and Hunter Hayes (especially Storm Warning and Wanted).  In celebration of our recent holiday, here is a video of Firework:

11. What’s a good dinner order?
Fried rice with beef, hot, from Pad Thai.  Or maybe (like I had last night) soft beef chimichangas and cheese dip from Mexico Restaurant.

12. Planes or boats?
Can I pass on both?  Planes would be 100 times better if it wasn’t for the crazy lines and ridiculous TSA regulations that basically require me to be viewed naked by some perv behind the scanner screen.

13. One rumor that’s been spread about you:
That I’m gay.  I’m actually bisexual.  Not all rumors are false.  😉

14. Who is your newest friend?
Samantha Baker over at Repairing Shattered Pieces.  She and I have been blogging buddies for a few months, but we just met in person on Saturday.  It was a great time.  We really connect and can talk about anything.  It was definitely well-worth the hour trip up to see her.  We are already planning our next meeting.

15. Have you ever sat on a rooftop?
Yes, I have.  It was wonderful.  I went up on the roof of our house out in the country to help my Dad nail up some new shingles after a storm.  It was a breath-taking view, and I loved working alongside my Dad and feeling the breeze on my face.

16. Was your last text useful?
Yes, it was.  I asked someone a question.  Although I still haven’t gotten an answer back, it was a useful question that I need to know the answer to in order to make a decision.

17. Favorite soda?
7-Up.

18. Do you like yourself?
Yep, I sure do.

19. The worst weather: Hot or cold?
Both.  I like it in-between.  The perfect day is a mild spring or fall day in the 70s.  The blistering hot weather we’ve been having lately (well over 100 for weeks now) paired with the brutal humidity and insane heat indexes (115?  Seriously?!) is almost unbearable to be out in.  Conversely, I hate being cold.  Even worse is cold and wet in the snow and slush with a chance to fall on my ass because of black ice.  No thanks!

20. Do you play an instrument?
I pseudo play the guitar.  I can play basic cords and rhythm.  I can also play a few songs on the piano if you give me all day to practice and some sheet music.  My real instrument is my voice, though.  I’m currently having a tattoo drawn up of a vintage microphone.  It will have music notes swirling around it and be done in gray-scale.  Here are a few inspiration photos.

20 “Would you…” Questions

This weekend was pretty nice, but it went by very, very fast.  Both the hubby and I had to work yesterday, which made for a short weekend.  Still, we managed to fit in a therapy appointment and some good conversations.  I also found a local kid to cut my grass every week, which is great since it has been in the 90s lately.  He gets some experience with responsibility and a little cash while my husband and I get more time together and less headache.  Have I mentioned that we both DESPISE yard work?

That means here we are again facing Monday.  That means it’s time for me to answer some more silly questions.  Today’s questions are courtesy of A Dog With Fleas and her post I Would Do Anything For Love…But Maybe I Won’t Do That?  She got the questions from a Cosmo survey titled “Would You Give Up A Year of Your Life To Sleep With Ryan Gosling.”  The survey asked other thought-provoking, amusing and sometimes outright fear-inducing questions on what you would do if given certain opportunities.  Here’s my take:

1. Would You Give Up A Year Of Your Life To Sleep With Ryan Gosling? 
No.  I’m not really all that impressed by Ryan Gosling.  And I don’t think anyone could be so great at sex that they would be worth a year of my life.  I think time is the most previous thing we have, and I have already wasted too much in my life.  I want every moment I have coming to me!

2. Would You Give Your Boss A Butt Facial For A Monthlong, All-Expenses-Paid Vacation On A Private Yacht?
Absolutely.  I didn’t even know what a “butt facial” was, but a quick Yahoo search later led me here.  It doesn’t sound that bad, and it really has nothing to do with my face (which I was greatly afraid of).  I don’t particularly want to be near my boss’s butt; however traveling is my passion and an all-expenses-paid month long vacation sounds like a dream!  To lounge around for an entire month and having every single penny covered?  Amazing!!!  When do I leave?

3. Would You Pull out One Of Your Front Teeth, Hangover-style, to win an Oscar.
Ummm…  I don’t really have a chance at winning an Oscar right now in the least.  But if you are telling me if I pulled out my front tooth I would win one next time around I would go for it.  Hopefully I would be able to get something to numb me up first, though.  I don’t really like my front teeth anyway (they have little ridges at the bottom) and modern dentistry can do some amazing things.  If I had an Oscar I could afford it, so yes.

4. Would You Adopt Jill Zarin’s Speaking Voice If It Meant You Could Sing Like Adele?
Like the woman who answered these before me, I had to Google Jill Zarin to even find out who she was.  I already knew the answer to this before I did that, though.  Nope.  I love my singing voice, and I wouldn’t change it.  Plus, it’s already pretty deep and throaty like Adele’s to begin with.  So no dice on this one…

5. Would You Listen To LMFAO’s Party Rock for 72 Hours To Flour Bomb Your Ex (and not get caught)?
No way.  If I’ve heard that song I had no idea what it was called or who sang it.  That genre is completely outside of what I am drawn to musically, and I can’t stand their name!  All of that aside, though, I couldn’t care less about my ex.  I definitely wouldn’t put myself through a single thing for that inconsequential person.

6. Would You Sleep With A Rat In Your Bed Every Night For A Month To Have The Ability To Fly?
I had to really think hard about this one.  I’m not a fan of rats, but I have always wanted to fly.  Sometimes I have dreams at night of being able to take off of the ground and soar.  In my dreams I kinda look like the girl in this picture does, oddly enough.  It is an amazing feeling, and I always wake up wishing I could go back to my dream.  If the rat in question could be one of those white, semi-cite ones from the pet store as opposed to the huge, nasty gutter rats in say New York City then I would definitely do it!

7. Would You Spend Three Years On A Deserted Island…with Ryan Reynolds?
I’m going to have to admit (to many people’s scorn I’m sure) that I had to do a search for Ryan Reynolds.  I didn’t recognize the name.  I do know his face once I saw it, but obviously he has not made a big impression on me.  I will have to refer back to my answer to the first questions here.  There is no one I consider so amazingly fantastic that I would give up 3 years of my life for.  Plus, being stranded on a deserted island sounds a lot more romantic and wonderful than I’m sure it is in reality.  Ever seen Survivor?  And those people aren’t even really deserted there…  Those camera men, crew and the host have to be hanging out in luxury somewhere, and they have a doctor, helicopter and boat on call, plus they can win donuts, bacon, fire and comfort items like fishing gear, tarps and blankets.  I’m sure being on a deserted island with ANYONE would get really old, really fast – much less after 3 years.  I’ll take my AC, DVR, books, running water and electricity, ability to order take-out and visit the grocery store, and comfy bed thank you very much!

8. Would You Never Speak To Your BF Again To Trade Lives With Duchess Catherine?
This probably isn’t the best survey for me because I am really not impressed by celebrities of any sort…  Duchess Catherine included.  I like my privacy far too much to trade places with all but a very select few of them.  The duchess is NOT one of them.

9. Would You Watch Porn With Your Parents For A Thousand Dollars?
Absolutely not!  First of all, $1,000 is barely anything.  Secondly, I feel very, very strongly about pornography (in a “I’m against it” kinda way).  Thirdly, even if the first two weren’t true I would never disrespect myself or my parents that much.

10. Would You Vajazzle your Frenemy’s Hoo-Ha To Have Anything You Want From Tiffany?
This is probably one of the most absurd questions I have seen anywhere.  Really…  who comes up with these?  What kind of job description does that person have?  As crazy as it is, I will answer it.  I am a huge fan of jewelry and Tiffany has some great diamond stuff, so yeah.  I think I just lost respect for myself for even answering that, but I do love diamonds!

How about this beauty? “This masterpiece consists of 34 Lucida® diamonds alongside marquise and round diamonds. Necklace in platinum with diamonds. 38″ long.  Carat total weight 73.58”

11. Would You Give Up Sex To Be Able To Eat Everything You Wanted Yet Magically Be Thin?
Sadly this gave me more pause than it should have.  I love myself.  Really, I do.  But boy would I love to be magically thin with no work and still be able to eat everything I want!  That is an amazing wish-come-true type thing.  But to not be able to have sex?  Any kind of sex?  I don’t think I could do that…  What’s the point of being incredibly attractive if you can’t have any fun with that perfect body?  Pass!

12. Would You Sweat Like A Fat Guy Sans Deodorant For The Summer For A Sick Beach House?
In this fantasy why is it that I can’t wear deodorant?  That seems especially cruel to everyone!  No thanks.  I don’t even like the beach that much.

13. Would You Give Up Your Sense Of Taste For The Ability To Read People’s Minds?
Absolutely not!  I’m a foodie, people!  Plus, I don’t really think I could handle knowing what everyone around me is thinking all of the time.  That sounds like some sort of horror movie!  Now, do I wish I could read my husband’s mind sometimes?  Hell, yes!  But I’ll have to settle for having him open up and be really honest with me on his own.  It would seem like stealing to root around in someone else’s thoughts, plus I don’t want to know what that sweaty guy I just passed in the street was thinking…

14. Would You Agree To Have A Permanent Cold For Angelina Jolie’s Face And Gisele’s Body?
Seriously… where do they come up with this stuff?  Having struggled with terrible allergies for a few years now I would definitely not want to have a permanent cold on top of all of that.  Plus, who wants Angelina Jolie’s face when it’s dripping with snot?  No thanks!

15. Would You Flash Your Dentist If It Ensured You’d Have Healthy, Pearly White Teeth Your Whole Life
Sure, why not.  That doesn’t sound too bad, and I could use a little tooth whitening without the pain that goes along with it (I have very sensitive teeth).

16. Would You Give Up Chocolate To Wake Up Every Day Already Dressed And Perfectly Primped?
That is a no-brainer!  Where do I sign up?  I’m not a huge sweet-tooth anyway, and I am so NOT a morning person.  Definitely!

17. Would You Give Your Boyfriend’s Mom A Weekly Pedicure If It Meant You’d Never Get A Pimple Again?
This is a hard question for me to answer because I don’t have a boyfriend – I have a husband.  And his Mom is dead…  That would be a pretty difficult pedicure.  I don’t get acne that much anyway, so I’m perfectly okay that this wouldn’t be an option for me if I was offered.

18. Would You Shave Your Head, Just One Time, For A Lifetime Of Perfect Hair Days?
Yes.  I have often threatened to shave my head just for the heck of it because having so much hair is hugely inconvenient sometimes.  I envy my husband’s buzz cut and the ease with which he is able to get ready in the morning.  Let’s do this!  Just call me Demi.

19. Would You Vomit In Front Of Your Crush In Exchange For A Free Louis Vuitton Bag?
This doesn’t really apply to me since I don’t have a “crush.”  Unfortunately, my husband has seen me vomit before, but I usually have to get a shot to stop once I start.  It is one of the worst sensations.  I don’t even care about designer handbags, so this is a definitive “no.”

20. Would You Get A Face Tattoo for Five Million Dollars?
I have to keep her answer to this because it is perfect – “Sure would. I would get the smallest possible and use part of my Five Million to get it removed!”

Well, that’s it for today folks.  I hope the beginning of your week has been great!

Being Random

Here is my normal weekly meme from Sunday Stealing.  Thanks for the questions!

1. Have you felt that life is like being on a roller coaster?
Wow… That has definitely been true, especially in the last few years. See my previous post Rollercoaster for proof.

2. Favorite year so far?
2003. That is the year I traveled all over Europe. It was the most amazing experience.

3. Do you consider yourself religious?
Absolutely positively not. To the 1000th power.

4. How do you dress to impress?
It depends on who I’m trying to impress. To impress my husband for a night out at a fancy restaurant it is a perfect little black dress, heels, pearls, and hair that has taken me an hour. To impress him just any old day it would be a t-shirt and nothing else… or nothing at all. To impress at work I have a few sharp pants suits.

5. Have you ever been to Connecticut?
I don’t really think I have. We did drive from Virginia to Main when I was a kid (6th grade), but I don’t remember what states we passed through. I have never taken a trip exclusively to Connecticut.

6. Do you eat sushi?
Yes, occasionally. It isn’t a regular staple of my diet, but I have found a few types that I really like.

7. Would you smoke pot providing there was no risk or driving involved?
No. I’m not even sure what “no risk” involved means. It is an illegal substance, so there is an inherent risk. My job doesn’t do random drug tests, but I still would not want to jeopardize my career or lifestyle. I am also really not interested in mind-altering drugs – even alcohol – since I am on antidepressants. I’m not sure what the combination would do.

8. What do you think of Idol Winner Phillip Phillips?
I don’t want American Idol, so I couldn’t tell you. I think that Clay Aiken should have won his season. Since then I haven’t watched any complete episodes.

9. Do you believe that animals have souls?
I don’t really believe in souls in the religious sense – even for people. I do believe in personalities and a special “something” that makes each of us unique. Even animals have that.

10. Who did you last talk to? Share, if you dare.
A potential new hire. I just finished up a phone interview.

11. What is one thing that always annoys you?
People who are late.

12. Do you believe in a higher being?
No – What is with all of these religion questions??

13. Have you ever fallen in love with a neighbor?
Weird questions – no.

14. Any plans for this weekend?
I might go see some Legends car racing. I may also visit a food festival that will be happening on Sunday. Or I could decide to do absolutely nothing and lounge around in my underwear all day. You never know…

15. Would you like to rule your country, if you could?
“Rule your country”… That is a weird way to put it. We don’t really have a “ruler” here. I don’t think I would want the job of President, though. I like my privacy and down-time too much for that. If you mean some hypothetical “ruler” who just makes up rules that others have to follow… maybe. There are plenty of things that I wish I could change.

16. Do you like watching films about the nature of animals?
I like watching the Discovery channel sometimes, and I love the Planet Earth series.

17. What’s the difference between lust and/or lust?
I copied this question exactly, so this typo is not on me. There is no difference between lust and/or lust because that is the same word twice… What I believe this should be asking is what is the difference between love and lust. In that case, I think there is a huge difference.  Lust is physical attraction to someone – an intense desire.  It can be powerful and has to do with the brain chemical dopamine.  Love is a much deeper emotion.  It is built up with time, trust, and real knowledge of someone else.  The love hormone is oxytocin.

18. Do you have a soul?
Wow… again with the religious/soul question. No. I don’t believe we have “souls” that are separate from our bodies. I believe we have personalities. I believe we have a brain that is made up of many indefinable things which combined form who we are. I believe we are made up of energy, thoughts, and other invisible things. But I believe that when we die, we die. I don’t believe that there is some separate “soul” that floats away into the great beyond.

19. One best friend or many good friends?
One best friend.

20. Do you believe in spontaneous combustion?
I’m not really sure. I haven’t done any research into it at all. I do believe that there are strange chemicals and substances that can start a fire with no heat involved. I think some of those things might be responsible for the “spontaneous combustion” cases. I think science can provide an answer, but I am not a scientist so I will leave it at that.

Silly Monday

Once again it is time for my silly Monday list of random questions to answer.  I got this one from the archives of Sunday Stealing.  Without further ado, here it is:

1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
I don’t even know what this means, and have no intention of finding out.  No.

2. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
20 years.  With my husband.

3. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes, when I was in high school.  My friend was driving and rear-ended someone.  I was very, very glad that I had my seat belt on.  It is one of the reasons that I always wear it.

4. Were you popular in high school?
Not in the least.  Unless you count my chorus friends.  I had a lot of those, and they came from all sorts of “clicks.”  Overall, though, I was made fun of and not very accepted.  That’s what happens when you are new(ish) to the school, introverted, have a sarcastic sense of humor that no one gets, and are super devoted to your studies (I graduated with a 4.3 GPA).  I’m just fine with that, though, because I like who I am and I think they are the ones who missed out!

5. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Absolutely not.  I would never go for anything like that.

6. Are looks important?
Not in the traditional sense.  I don’t really care if someone could be a super model or not.  In the looks department what matters the most is being well-groomed.  Besides that personality really is key!

7. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?
Not really, unless you count family.  See previous question re: popularity.  I have a few people that I still keep in contact with via Facebook, but I don’t really think that counts.

8. By what age would you like to be married?
I’m already married, so I don’t think this question really applies.  However, I will say that I never had a “taget age” for marriage.  I’m not really someone who cares about that type of thing.  I have always marched to the beat of my own drummer.

9. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
I would like to say no because I don’t like to think of myself as a judgemental person, but in reality it absolutely does.  I was raised in a very conservative home, and I still have some deeply ingrained traditional values.  I can’t reconcile sleeping around with my view of the world and the importance of committment and monogamy.  I do think of both men and women who have a lot of sexual partners as sluts.  If that offends you, I apologize, but I firmly believe that sex is something that is important, special, and that should not be given away lightly.

10. Have you ever made a mistake?
What kind of question is that?  Everyone has made a mistake of some sort.  I have made many mistakes in my life, and I’m sure I will make many more before I am gone.

11. Are you a good tipper?
If I have a good server.  I don’t believe in free rides just because you are a warm body, though.  There is some standard of service that I expect, and I tip on a sliding scale according to how well those standards are met.

12. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?
Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of $60, including a (generous) tip.  A good hair style (and stylist) is important.  I also only really indulge about once per year, so I don’t mind paying a little more than the Great Clips $12 discount price.  I usually take care of trims myself, or get my Mom to tackle bigger shape-ups.

13. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Yes, I think so.  Although keep in mind that my rather naïve version of a crush generally just meant that I was attracted to his incredible knowledge.  The idea of actually making out with or going any further than that with a teacher always grossed me out.

14. Have you ever peed in public?
I’m not sure what this question is really asking.  Are you asking if I have used a public restroom?  The answer to that is of course.

15. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I’m not really sure.  I haven’t thought about that.  I sing at funerals pretty regularly, though.  I do like the version of Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin.  Here’s the video.  It still gives me chills every time I watch it.

16. Would you tell your parents if you were gay?
Funny that would be one of the questions…  I have already told my parents that I am bisexual.  In fact, I lived with a partner of the same sex for several years before I met and married my husband.  Honestly, I believe it is incredibly important to be who you are.  It wasn’t easy telling my parents, especially since we are in the south and they are incredibly religious.  I couldn’t live a lie, though.

17. What would your last meal be before getting executed?
I would hope that I will never have to deal with that.  I don’t plan to murder anyone.  However, I’ll entertain this for the heck of it…  I would want my last meal to be home-made macaroni and cheese, a filet mignon, crabs, and a giant piece of double chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream.

18. Beatles or Stones?
Neither…  I was not alive during the time that either of those bands were big.  My understanding is that their time was in the 60s and 70s.  I wasn’t even a twinkle in my parents’ eyes at that point (as the saying goes).

19. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?
That’s a really weird question.  I don’t know everyone on earth, so I don’t know how to answer it.  I guess one of the active serial killers who are operating in the country.

20. Beer, wine or hard liquor?
White wine or flavored rum, please!  I have had to swear all alcohol off due to my antidepressant medication, though.

21. Do you have any phobias?
I don’t really think so.  I am terrified of dying in a fire, though.  I think that would be the worst death I can imagine…  Other than torture.  I really can’t handle torture, even in movies and TV shows.  It’s just awful.  I don’t think that is necessarily a phobia, though.

22. What are your plans for the future?
Keep growing and changing to be the best version of me that I can be.

Random Stuff About Me Part II

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Here are the last 20 questions to complete last week’s post More Random Stuff About Me.  Thanks again to Sunday Stealing for providing these questions.  Let’s see what they have in store for me to answer this week…

21. Has there ever been anyone that now you regret meeting?
Not that I can think of.  I am happy with where I am right now, so I wouldn’t change anything.

22. What’s the last film you saw? Would you recommend it?
The last movie I saw was Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.  We rented it from RedBox on BluRay the other night.  It was an entertaining movie if you are partial to things blowing up, gun fights, and people dangling off of buildings.  No one can ever say that it is a boring movie.  I would recommend it if you are looking for some blood-pumping action.

23. Would you rather have roommates or live alone?
I would absolutely rather live alone.  Having roommates sounds like a complete nightmare to me.  I have never had a roommate that wasn’t a lover, and even then I have only had 2 (including my husband).  I went right from my parent’s house to my own apartment to the house I currently own.  Living in a dorm, having a roommate, and/or living with multiple people are all experiences that I hope to avoid forever.  That is not for me at all.

24. Do you like any of your friends a little more than just a friend?
No – except for my husband.  He is my best friend, and I like him a lot more than just a friend.

25. We loved the results yesterday on Saturday – Post a rather current song that you’d like us to hear.
Funnily enough… I couldn’t really thing of one off the top of my head.  I’m not really exceptionally “current.”  After some consideration I decided on:

I think this is a fun song, and it is a good distraction on a Monday.  I wish I could roll on out of here and find a cool party with someone rocking out the banjo!

What happened to 26????

27. If you found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do? If you are one, tell us what the best parent of being a parent is.

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If I found out that I was going to be a parent (that I was pregnant), I would freak out.  I am not even remotely interested in becoming a mother.  Ever.  *Insert gasp here*  I know, I know…  go ahead and be shocked and appalled.  But I work hard to make sure that doesn’t happen – I take a little pill every single morning at the same exact time.  I have never missed one.  So it would be quite a shock to find out that I was pregnant.  I’m not really sure what would happen then…  I’m not against abortion, but I’m not really sure that I would be able to do it personally.  At the same time, no child wants a mother who doesn’t want it.  Hopefully I will never have to cross that bridge.

28. Do you give money to homeless people when they ask?
No.  I have done that once or twice when I was young, but not anymore.  There are several reasons.  First, I never have cash.  Literally – never.  Secondly, I know this is a bad economy and all, but you can always get a job somewhere.  Seriously, if you can stand on the side of the street all day you can stand behind the counter at McDonald’s.  Finally, there are much better ways to help the less fortunate than handing out money to people on the side of the road.  There are lots of charities that help people get back on their feet, provide food and shelter to battered women, veterans, etc.  That’s the best way to make sure your money doesn’t end up fueling someone’s drug or alcohol addiction.

29. A weekend in Las Vegas or Miami? Why?
Las Vegas, baby!  It is the perfect place for a weekend get-a-way.  Great food?  Check (some of the best restaurants and chefs in the world are located in Vegas).  Fantastic shows?  Check (all of the Cirque De Sole shows, musicals, comedians, etc).  Black Jack tables and the ability to win money?  Check.  Plenty to do?  Check.  Fun themes?  Check.  Everything within walking distance?  Check.  Vegas is a great place to go and have fun if you only have a short amount of time because it has everything all packed into one.  Plus, I can’t hardly stand it for much longer than a weekend – all of the lights, glitz, and noise can get overwhelming after too long.

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30. What was your reaction to the president supporting gay marriage?
About time!  It’s definitely a step in the right direction.  It’s too bad that it had to come of the heels of North Carolina joining the rank of states that felt it necessary to create a Constitutional Amendment cutting off basic human rights for a whole segment of the population based solely on their sexual orientation.  That part is disgusting to me.  So much more needs to be done to fix the travesty…

31. You are totally alone on a Saturday. What do you do?
First of all, that sounds wonderful.  I would probably get naked, lounge on the couch, and catch up on TV from my DVR.  At some point there would be ice cream involved.  And a big fluffy blanket.  I might end the night with some reading in bed.  I know – I’m a wild woman!  😉

32. You have 3 months left to live, what is your bucket list?
Hmmm….  That’s kinda depressing.  But I guess if I only had 3 months left to live I would quit my job, empty my savings and retirement accounts, grab my husband, and take a trip around the world.  I would drive the Ring of Kerry Ireland, look for Nessie in Lock Ness, take an African safari, swim in the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, fly over a volcano in Hawaii, see the Egyptian Pyramids, try new food and experience a new culture in Japan, take a zip line through the rain forest somewhere in South America, and finally see Niagara Falls.  After about 2 months or so of that I would spend my last month with my family collecting up stories from my grandma, going to the spa with my Mom, and spending time with my brother and sister.

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33. You’re having a bad day, what one thing can make your day better?
A great song on the radio.  A laugh with my husband.  A good dinner.  A foot massage.  I know that’s more than one thing, but I think it’s important to have more than one thing that makes you happy.

34. Ever use a tanning bed?
Ever?  I have to say yes.  A few times in High School and a couple of times before my wedding.  I don’t really tan, though.  I just burn and go right back to my natural color – very pale white.  I have decided that I am comfortable being me.  Plus, pale skin looks great with my very dark hair.  I also get the added benefit of less chance for skin cancer.

35. Is there anything you would change about your body if you could?
Of course there is.  I’m human.  We always want to change something about ourselves, especially the way we look.  However, I know that no one is going to wave a magic wand and make me have the perfect body.  I am not interested in plastic surgery.  So I have come to the conclusion that I’m better off being happy with who I am and the body I have now.  I just do my best to take care of it and keep it healthy.

36. You wake up in an unfamiliar place, what is your first reaction?
Where am I and how did I get here.  This is a kinda creepy question…  How exactly would I wake up in an “unfamiliar” place?  It should be at least somewhat familiar because I hopefully was there before I went to sleep.  Otherwise we’re talking about some kind of an abduction/knocked out situation that I hope to never be in.

37. Is there anything that you should be doing right now?
There’s always something I should be doing, I guess.

38. At what age do you think that sex becomes less important? Why?
I’m not really sure how to answer this question.  I think it depends on how important sex is to you to begin with.  My understanding is that people never really lose their desire for sex because it is so closely linked to intimacy, love, and good feelings and emotions.  I hope that I will be interested in sex no matter how old I get.

39. What is your favorite breakfast food?
Right now it is an everything bagel toasted with cream cheese.

40. Your phone rings at 4am, who do you expect it to be?
Hopefully no one would be calling me at 4am.  If someone did I would expect it would probably be my sister or Mom with some kind of emergency.  So again, I have to reiterate that I hope no one calls me at 4am.

Well, that wasn’t so bad.  I hope everyone had a great weekend.  Mine was very busy, but overall it was nice.  I went to the chiropractor, my husband and I had a therapy appointment, we visited a wine festival, attended a wedding, and had a nice Mother’s Day lunch with my Mom, step-Dad, grandma, sister and brother.  Like I said – busy.  Anyway, I hope that all of you mothers out there had a beautiful day full of appreciation for all that you do.  Happy (belated) Mother’s Day!

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