Overview of My Entire Mess | Being a Beautiful Mess

Overview of My Entire Mess

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Awards

Many Thanks (I’m a Fabulous Gutter Blogger) - Comments (4)
Not Only Do I Have An Addictive Personality, I Also Have An Addictive Blog! - Comments (5)
Milestone: 100 Followers!!! - Comments (12)
Very Inspiring Blogger Award - Comments (5)
Thank You! - Comments (1)
Being an Award-Winner - Comments (6)

Background

Living in the Now - Comments (5)
Objectification, Violence, and Self-Worth - Comments (32)
How Things Change in a Year - Comments (25)
If you know me… - Comments (0)
My Beautiful Mess of 2012 in Review - Comments (7)
What Made Me Pick Him? What Do I Want Now? - Comments (22)
Delving Into My Childhood - Comments (7)
I’m Getting Tired of Talking About Lying - Comments (14)
The Music That’s Making My Heart Sing - Comments (3)
I Asked for a Separation: The Chicken and the Pig - Comments (13)
Forgiveness in the Face of Turmoil - Comments (11)
His “Rules” About Cheating - Comments (14)
1 Other Woman Became 4… - Comments (21)
More Details About Disclosure - Comments (12)
Anniversary Memories: Camping in Shenandoah - Comments (8)

Boundaries

My New Take on Boundary Agreements - Comments (56)
I Should Have Read This Article Sooner - Comments (18)
I Do Not Follow the 90/10 Rule - Comments (2)
Baby, It’s a Real Fine Line - Comments (2)
Welcome to My Town: The Smoking Remains of My Marriage - Comments (25)
I’m Getting Tired of Talking About Lying - Comments (14)
The Start of Our Separation Guidelines - Comments (15)
What’s Next? What SHOULD We Be Doing? - Comments (16)
Separation Clarification (What Did Asking For a Separation Mean?) - Comments (3)
Codependent Behavior or Simply Trusting My Gut? - Comments (14)
Collective Wisdom - Comments (3)
More Details About Disclosure - Comments (12)
Being Aware of Our Vulnerabilities - Comments (7)
Accepting the Truth - Comments (22)
Minding Your P’s and Q’s - Comments (17)

Codependency

Emotional Sobriety Audio - Comments (1)
Step 2 – Letting Go to a Higher Power - Comments (9)
Step 1 Musings - Comments (5)
I Do Not Follow the 90/10 Rule - Comments (2)
Delving Into My Childhood - Comments (7)
Changes… - Comments (19)
Codependent Behavior or Simply Trusting My Gut? - Comments (14)
Gifts of the S-Anon Program - Comments (6)
Breaking the Negative Codependent Cycle - Comments (12)
Our Retrouvaille Couple’s Introduction - Comments (15)
Paying Attention to My Gut - Comments (10)
Accepting the Truth - Comments (22)
Trying to Trust Through the Fear - Comments (21)
Making My Own Happiness - Comments (20)
Being Worth It - Comments (2)

Communication

My New Take on Boundary Agreements - Comments (56)
Childish Behavior - Comments (33)
Congratulations! You’re an Ass! - Comments (24)
I Do Not Follow the 90/10 Rule - Comments (2)
Changes… - Comments (19)
I’m Getting Tired of Talking About Lying - Comments (14)
Our First Post-Separation Date (With Each Other) - Comments (35)
Confused Much? - Comments (29)
The Start of Our Separation Guidelines - Comments (15)
Be Honest With Me - Comments (2)
What Are We Doing Now Regarding Separation? - Comments (1)
Find a Way or Find an Excuse? - Comments (0)
What’s Next? What SHOULD We Be Doing? - Comments (16)
Collective Wisdom - Comments (3)
We Obviously Need to Wait for Thursday - Comments (11)

Daily Life

Being a Mom - Comments (12)
Living in the Now - Comments (5)
Good, Bad, and Ugly - Comments (20)
Solo Vacation - Comments (10)
Future of this Blog? - Comments (26)
My Adventures at the Hospital - Comments (17)
Hospital Visit - Comments (5)
Got the Ball Rolling - Comments (7)
Enjoying My Single Weekend - Comments (5)
Feeling Very… Pink Today - Comments (19)
How Things Change in a Year - Comments (25)
Mischief in the Neighborhood - Comments (5)
Exciting News: Continuing My Education - Comments (20)
Possibly the Last Time I Have to See Him? - Comments (14)
Taxes Finally Done - Comments (8)

Dating

Learning to Be Vulnerable - Comments (22)
Meeting the Parents - Comments (7)
When You “Just Know” - Comments (6)
One Month Has Flown By - Comments (7)
Self-Esteem Problems Surface - Comments (12)
Soaring - Comments (4)
Best Second Date Ever - Comments (12)
Prelude to a Second Date - Comments (14)
Time, Time, Time - Comments (5)
Online Dating: Take Two - Comments (13)
One Woman’s Online Dating Experience - Comments (13)

Digging into My Issues

Learning to Be Vulnerable - Comments (22)
Self-Esteem Problems Surface - Comments (12)
Love or Need? - Comments (13)
Moving On From a Bad Relationship - Comments (11)
Just Breathe - Comments (7)
Failure. - Comments (9)
Thoughts & Quotes About Trust - Comments (24)
12 Changes - Comments (7)
Step 3 - Comments (3)
Step 2 – Letting Go to a Higher Power - Comments (9)
Step 1 Musings - Comments (5)
I Forgot What It Feels Like To Be Cared About - Comments (6)
I’m Back & I’m a New Woman - Comments (4)
Delving Into My Childhood - Comments (7)
Poked, Prodded and Cracking… - Comments (18)

Divorce

Why Divorce is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me - Comments (11)
The Wait is Over - Comments (25)
Time, Time, Time - Comments (5)
One Woman’s Online Dating Experience - Comments (13)
10 Excuses People Use to Stay with a Cheater - Comments (26)
Good, Bad, and Ugly - Comments (20)
Today Could Be The Day - Comments (4)
The Beginning of the End of Us - Comments (2)
Moving On From a Bad Relationship - Comments (11)
Learning to be Selfish - Comments (16)
Look It Up - Comments (10)
Got the Ball Rolling - Comments (7)
Progress - Comments (8)
Failure. - Comments (9)
Possibly the Last Time I Have to See Him? - Comments (14)

Fashion

Feeling Very… Pink Today - Comments (19)
I’m Feeling Sassy Today - Comments (13)
Another Reason I’m in Love with Sara Ramirez - Comments (8)
Feeling My Feelings - Comments (13)
Fashion Friday - Comments (11)
Making My Own Happiness - Comments (20)
A Holiday, a Tattoo and a Piercing - Comments (8)
My Pink Hair - Comments (12)
Opinions People… Please! - Comments (7)
Pink - Comments (9)

Infidelity

Letter from a Reader: Leaving a Cheater - Comments (19)
10 Excuses People Use to Stay with a Cheater - Comments (26)
Why You Should Leave a Cheater - Comments (249)
Good, Bad, and Ugly - Comments (20)
Look It Up - Comments (10)
There’s No Coming Back From the Dead - Comments (27)
What Made Me Pick Him? What Do I Want Now? - Comments (22)
I Do Not Follow the 90/10 Rule - Comments (2)
I’m Back & I’m a New Woman - Comments (4)
Results from the Affair Analyzer - Comments (9)
Forgiveness in the Face of Turmoil - Comments (11)
His “Rules” About Cheating - Comments (14)
1 Other Woman Became 4… - Comments (21)
Why Strippers at a Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Set the Wrong Tone for Marriage - Comments (10)
Being Aware of Our Vulnerabilities - Comments (7)

Just About Me

Living in the Now - Comments (5)
How Things Change in a Year - Comments (25)
My Beautiful Mess of 2012 in Review - Comments (7)
What Made Me Pick Him? What Do I Want Now? - Comments (22)
Delving Into My Childhood - Comments (7)
The Music That’s Making My Heart Sing - Comments (3)
Forgiveness in the Face of Turmoil - Comments (11)
Do You Have an Addictive Personality? - Comments (7)
Being a Sexual Woman - Comments (10)
I have a confession to make… - Comments (14)
Days Go By - Comments (8)
Hungry, Hot and Pissy - Comments (4)
Tackling My Body Issues - Comments (14)
How Does His Sex Addiction Affect Me? - Comments (4)
A Holiday, a Tattoo and a Piercing - Comments (8)

Love

Being a Mom - Comments (12)
Last Name - Comments (3)
Engaged! - Comments (23)
Moving On (And In) - Comments (26)
Learning to Be Vulnerable - Comments (22)
Meeting the Parents - Comments (7)
When You “Just Know” - Comments (6)

Marriage

Last Name - Comments (3)

Music

Just Breathe - Comments (7)
Progress - Comments (8)
Shoot Me Down, But I Won’t Fall - Comments (3)
Letting Go of False Fairytales - Comments (10)
Sometimes Goodbye is Necessary to Really Live Life - Comments (18)
You Won’t Find This - Comments (8)
The Perfect Song Came on My Radio Today - Comments (7)
Something Has Changed Within Me - Comments (8)
Living in the Moment - Comments (3)
The Music That’s Making My Heart Sing - Comments (3)
Be Honest With Me - Comments (2)
Another Reason I’m in Love with Sara Ramirez - Comments (8)
Gone Fishing - Comments (1)
It’s August Already?! - Comments (3)
Making My Own Happiness - Comments (20)

My Recovery

Solo Vacation - Comments (10)
The Beginning of the End of Us - Comments (2)
Moving On From a Bad Relationship - Comments (11)
Progress - Comments (8)
How Things Change in a Year - Comments (25)
What is Your Attachment Style? I’m Secure - Comments (13)
Exciting News: Continuing My Education - Comments (20)
Emotional Sobriety Audio - Comments (1)
Step 3 - Comments (3)
Changes… - Comments (19)
Welcome to My Town: The Smoking Remains of My Marriage - Comments (25)
Our First Post-Separation Date (With Each Other) - Comments (35)
Results from the Affair Analyzer - Comments (9)
The Start of Our Separation Guidelines - Comments (15)
Forgiveness in the Face of Turmoil - Comments (11)

Narcissism & Sociopathy

Lazy Brain and the Narcissistic Sociopath - Comments (30)
My New Take on Boundary Agreements - Comments (56)
Being with a Narcissistic Sociopath – Part 2 - Comments (20)
Being with a Narcissistic Sociopath – Part 1 - Comments (50)
I Should Have Read This Article Sooner - Comments (18)
Accepting and Preparing for Divorce - Comments (39)

Random Thoughts

Lazy Brain and the Narcissistic Sociopath - Comments (30)
Failure. - Comments (9)
Being with a Narcissistic Sociopath – Part 1 - Comments (50)
- Comments (3)
Money Mash Up & Enjoying Myself - Comments (4)
Thoughts & Quotes About Trust - Comments (24)
Many Thanks (I’m a Fabulous Gutter Blogger) - Comments (4)
12 Changes - Comments (7)
Feeling my way forward in the darkness - Comments (0)
Honesty is Overrated (and Other Lies we Tell Ourselves to Get By) - Comments (1)
Speaking Up - Comments (0)
I Do Not Follow the 90/10 Rule - Comments (2)
Inspirational Photos - Comments (1)
Operating with integrity when it feels so good to act like an ass - Comments (5)
Find a Way or Find an Excuse? - Comments (0)

Reblogs

Lazy Brain and the Narcissistic Sociopath - Comments (30)
Being with a Narcissistic Sociopath – Part 1 - Comments (50)
- Comments (3)
Feeling my way forward in the darkness - Comments (0)
Honesty is Overrated (and Other Lies we Tell Ourselves to Get By) - Comments (1)
Operating with integrity when it feels so good to act like an ass - Comments (5)
Random Mental Meanderings - Comments (0)
Why Strippers at a Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Set the Wrong Tone for Marriage - Comments (10)
Being Aware of Our Vulnerabilities - Comments (7)
The High Price of Forgiveness - Comments (9)
Being Open About Sex - Comments (0)
I would probably deep throat it - Comments (9)
What I know for sure: Relationship Truths. - Comments (0)
But I Still Love You - Comments (0)
Anti-Gay Businesses Hear From Consumers - Comments (2)

Relationships

Being a Mom - Comments (12)
Another Happy Update - Comments (9)
Last Name - Comments (3)
Married <3 - Comments (7)
Why Divorce is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me - Comments (11)
Engaged! - Comments (23)
Love is Not Enough – Mark Manson - Comments (1)
When the Right the One Comes Along - Comments (0)
Guest Post: Breaking The Low Mood Cycle - Comments (0)
How I gave the key to my Life to a narcissist - Comments (2)
The Cinderella Complex - Comments (0)
Letter from a Reader: Leaving a Cheater - Comments (19)
A Walk Down Memory Lane - Comments (4)
2013 In Review & An Update - Comments (3)
Moving On (And In) - Comments (26)

Retrouvaille

Our Retrouvaille Couple’s Introduction - Comments (15)
Last Retrouvaille Post Session – Writing to Heal - Comments (7)
Our Emotional Lives (Retrouvaille – Friday Night, Part 3) - Comments (7)
Retrouvaille Weekend – Friday Night, Part 2 - Comments (7)
Retrouvaille Weekend – Friday Night, Part 1 - Comments (25)
Retrouvaille Weekend - Comments (15)

Separation

Possibly the Last Time I Have to See Him? - Comments (14)
Taxes Finally Done - Comments (8)
There’s No Coming Back From the Dead - Comments (27)
I’m Done Paying for His Mistakes - Comments (25)
Apparently I’m a Nut Job - Comments (26)
Name Change in Progress! - Comments (2)
Why Am I Not Surprised? - Comments (9)
Letting Go of False Fairytales - Comments (10)
Sometimes Goodbye is Necessary to Really Live Life - Comments (18)
You Won’t Find This - Comments (8)
The Separation Agreement is Signed!!! - Comments (16)
Giving Up - Comments (8)
It’s Funny What People Will Tell You When They Know Things Are Over - Comments (22)
I’m Still Here and I’m Doing Great - Comments (20)
Accepting and Preparing for Divorce - Comments (39)

Sex Addiction

Being with a Narcissistic Sociopath – Part 1 - Comments (50)
Delving Into My Childhood - Comments (7)
Results from the Affair Analyzer - Comments (9)
Poked, Prodded and Cracking… - Comments (18)
My Internal Debate - Comments (37)
I Asked for a Separation: The Chicken and the Pig - Comments (13)
1 Other Woman Became 4… - Comments (21)
Why Strippers at a Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Set the Wrong Tone for Marriage - Comments (10)
More Details About Disclosure - Comments (12)
Gifts of the S-Anon Program - Comments (6)
Facing Reality Sucks - Comments (12)
Preparing for Full Disclosure (and a Wonderful Weekend) - Comments (16)
Our Retrouvaille Couple’s Introduction - Comments (15)
Do You Have an Addictive Personality? - Comments (7)
Finding Internal Motivation - Comments (8)

Silly Questions

Many Thanks (I’m a Fabulous Gutter Blogger) - Comments (4)
Monday Stealing - Comments (10)
Using My Imagination - Comments (6)
20 “Would you…” Questions - Comments (4)
Being Random - Comments (0)
Silly Monday - Comments (2)
Random Stuff About Me Part II - Comments (0)

The Dysfunctional Relationship

Objectification, Violence, and Self-Worth - Comments (32)
I’m Getting Tired of Talking About Lying - Comments (14)
I Asked for a Separation: The Chicken and the Pig - Comments (13)
Forgiveness in the Face of Turmoil - Comments (11)
His “Rules” About Cheating - Comments (14)
1 Other Woman Became 4… - Comments (21)
More Details About Disclosure - Comments (12)
Anniversary Memories: Camping in Shenandoah - Comments (8)
I (Was) Married to My Polar Opposite (ISTJ & ENFP) - Comments (55)
Our 2-Year Wedding Anniversary… - Comments (15)
Our Retrouvaille Couple’s Introduction - Comments (15)
Last Retrouvaille Post Session – Writing to Heal - Comments (7)
Retrouvaille Weekend – Friday Night, Part 2 - Comments (7)
Retrouvaille Weekend – Friday Night, Part 1 - Comments (25)
Minding Your P’s and Q’s - Comments (17)

Featured Posts

Learning to Be Vulnerable

Last Friday morning I was in my car, parked on the street around the corner from work, trying to get my emotions under control. I had tears streaking down my cheeks, runny mascara, and a splotchy face. I wasn’t crying because something horrible happened. Those tears weren’t bad at all. However, I’ve been conditioned to […]
There’s No Coming Back From the Dead

I was reading the post of one of my favorite bloggers when I had an epiphany of sorts. Her last few posts have been about trust, which you know is on my mind a lot. In the post Reflections on trust, she talks about all the ways her husband’s lies have affected her and made […]
Thoughts & Quotes About Trust

The concept of trust is something that I struggled with in my last relationship quite a bit (as you know if you’ve read this blog at all). As I move forward and put my past behind me, I know that I will also need to open my heart and learn to trust again. In theory, that […]
It’s Funny What People Will Tell You When They Know Things Are Over

Today at work my Office Manager said that she hadn’t heard me mention how Mr. Mess is doing lately. I told her that’s because we’re getting a divorce. At first she was slighty surprised, mostly because she didn’t notice that I haven’t been wearing my wedding rings in some time. Then, the truth started rolling right […]
Operating with integrity when it feels so good to act like an ass

This is something that I am working on right now – letting go of his recovery. It is on him. He needs to learn to take positive action for himself. If we have any chance of ever making this marriage work there can be no more lies. He has to take responsibility for really doing the […]