Today I found a neat little attachment style quiz thanks to fellow blogger VwoopVwoop. She posted a very good blog about how we are raised affects the way we interact and attach to the people we are romantically involved with. My favorite line from her post is the very first one. She says, “Secure attachment is the outcome of a healthy upbringing, with a sense of self, good boundaries, and no anxiety about what others’ hidden motives might be.” So true!
After reading about the various attachment styles, I started wondering where I fall on the spectrum. I feel like I was raised in a pretty healthy environment, but my last relationship obviously wasn’t healthy at all. Thankfully, she provided the link to the quick quiz, which is here. I took it, and found that I fall in the “Secure” category. That’s good news! Here’s the pictorial representation of my attachment style:
Here is what else the test had to say about me:
“According to attachment theory and research, there are two fundamental ways in which people differ from one another in the way they think about relationships. First, some people are more anxious than others. People who are high in attachment-related anxiety tend to worry about whether their partners really love them and often fear rejection. People low on this dimension are much less worried about such matters. Second, some people are more avoidant than others. People who are high in attachment-related avoidance are less comfortable depending on others and opening up to others.
According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 2.64, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 1.33, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance).
As you can see in this graph, the two dimensions of anxiety and avoidance can be combined to create interesting combinations of attachment styles. For example people who are low in both attachment-related anxiety and avoidance are generally considered secure because they don’t typically worry about whether their partner’s are going to reject them and they are comfortable being emotionally close to others.
Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the secure quadrant. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that secure people tend to have relatively enduring and satisfying relationships. They are comfortable expressing their emotions, and tend not to suffer from depression and other psychological disorders.”
I am definitely comfortable expressing my emotions. I have suffered from depression in the past. It may have been situational depression, though. That situation? My husband! I am a little higher on the anxiety scale now than I probably was when I first met him, although 2.64 isn’t bad. I do sometimes worry and second-guess my own judgment now. I wonder if someone can really love me the way I love, fully and deeply. However, I am keeping that anxiety in check because I know that I have a lot to offer. This was a good little confirmation that I am healthy and strong, despite what I’ve been through.
On another note, I’m doing well in school. My first week is almost done, and I’m loving it. I feel so invigorated. I’ve definitely missed this the last few years. I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend and a great holiday!
- what is your attachment style? (manyofus1980.com)
- Avoidant Attachment & What That Shit Means! (thepastjo.wordpress.com)
- Attachment Theory and Adult Relationships (traumatherapy.typepad.com)